Entry #20 It seems sticking around the refugee camp has been beneficial, as I got to see a long time friend, Volare! Though his choice of clothing was... different from last I'd seen him. What're up with those robes? Anyways... We took a short stroll and caught up a bit, and he also introduced me to this guy named Mitch. I tried my best to be friendly, and I succeeded! It's always good to leave a positive impression on people the first time you met them. Though when walking back, I got caught in a conversation with Blaze, and he seemed to scamper off. I don't know what he's up to these days, so he might've had something important to do. Can't blame him! Though speaking of Blaze -- I was finally able to do that follow up physical from all those years ago. She's rather spry and fit -- though anyone can see that from the exterior. The innards were fine too, besides her blood pressure being insignificantly over the normal amount. We hung out on my ship and caught up, shared a few drinks and a soak in my hot tub together. By the look on her face that day, she might wanna swing by more to take a load off. I can't blame her -- with that camp's fate on her back. I knew I'd be able to help her in some way. Who knows who else might show up at the refugee camp? I miss the Ratman. He was chill to hang with. Or Lyra! Whatever happened to the glorified taxi avian? Heck -- what happened to Ahricath, Onyx, and my other lab mates from back in the day? Maybe I'm diving too deep into the past... yeap. Well! I'm feeling a lot better, today! Chipper even! I feel years younger -- even though I know that's an illusion. Things are certainly looking up for this worn doctor. lEND LOGl
Entry #21 Well -- another ten entries and here we are. I almost feel like celebrating! Maybe I will... Right, after a bit of booze, I can finally get back to writing. Where to begin? Well my friendship with Blaze has been blossoming quite a bit. We've shared a lot of time together, hung out and watched movies, gotten piss drunk with each other, bathed in the hot tub, slept over each other's place -- and we've clicked rather well. My bubbly nature clashes with her stern coldness rather well, and we play off of one another easily. Though when she's around me, her glacial act seems to melt away. How sweet! Speaking of friends, I saw Volare again on Mud, looking like he was ready to take down even the biggest of crooks! Seems to be security now. Kade is doing his thing -- drinking and smoking his worries away -- but it doesn't seem THAT stressful. Maybe he's got some family or relationship issues with someone I don't know? Or maybe he murdered someone and their face of terror is still haunting him? Who knows? On the topic of my work, there has been a bit in the past week. Reconstructive surgery, radiation sickness, broken bones and bullet wounds (all too common in these parts), and I went out of sector to perform some brain surgery. Biggest. Tumor. Ever. In order to save the poor lad, I had to dig a bit into the cerebral cortex -- I of course explained to the afflicted's family that it may result in some of his functions being taken from him, but it was better than letting the tumor do it rather than the surgery. After a laborious nineteen hours, I was able to remove the tumor and secure the boy's life. He is having some problems with short term memory now -- but at least he'll live! After getting my pay and thanks, I felt glad about the road I've taken in my life. Being able to save people's lives form even the most complex of conditions is empowering. I'm happy I put it to good use instead of becoming some creepy scientist that does immoral experiments. Speaking of pay, once I get enough, I'll need to get some more work done on my ship. The med-bay needs two more rooms, on either side. On for surgery (instead of using the same table for surgery and check-ups), and one for my pet projects. I do love messing with chemicals afterall, and slicing things open. ...Maybe I am a creepy scientist? No matter -- I'm still doing what's right! And that's what matters. That's another log down. Until next time, notepad app. Don't look at me that way! I promise I'll be back, swear it. lEND LOGl
Entry #22 Welp... it's been eventful, today. It seems like it's been forever and a half since someone got seriously injured. This time, it was someone a little less... humble. Her name is Mimi -- or Mary, which I think is a lot better. Long, dyed, red hair with one side shaved off, mocha skin and an attitude. She got stabbed -- no organs punctured, thankfully. Just an artery. In summation, I got her patched up, but I still have to go in to repair the artery that was sliced. She told me her situation and gave me a little depth into her life -- if anything, I appreciate the honesty. Though after that she seemed to tighten up and deny that she needed help -- in any right. But she does, and I'm wondering how I can make her see that. I likely won't be able to, but I'll at least try. I have her staying on my ship -- of course, under a close eye. Doors are locked and whatnot -- but not the way to the beampad. She's not stealing my ship; but she can be free to leave if she doesn't wanna deal with me. Her choice if she wants the artery closed up. ...Past the act though, I can see something more innocent. She's obviously terrified just to live, with that guy after her. She's not about to trust me anytime soon -- but I'll see what I can do. Hmm... she has dyed hair... Blaze has dyed hair... --there are even more. Am I missing out on something? Maybe Blaze can talk some sense into, if she even cares enough to try. I recall her living in the apartment complex, maybe they know one another? She was talking to the green haired chick as well. I'll check in with them and see if they're willing to offer support. Anyways. I... take a lot of pride in being a doctor -- someone who can bring another from near death to the living once more. To quell pain. I can certainly save a person's body... but I can never seem to fully help a mind. Perhaps I should go back to school and think about studying psychiatry? I don't know... in the end I just want to help as many people as I can. But no matter what, I can't help them all -- there are hundreds around the universe as I type just... dying. Old age. Impalement. Cancer. Blunt trauma. Gunshots. It's... awful. And even then -- I can't help everyone I take under my care. It's just depressing. But for the sake of the injured I find... I'll try my best to press on. lEND LOGl
Entry #23 I'm tired. I'm old. I'm tired. I'm old. It's a sickness that's been plaguing my mind lately. One that crosses often, especially when I'm not using the auto-doc. Eyes straining. Joints popping. Everything hurts. I don't remember when I haven't had at least somewhat of a headache. I take medication. I drink to help ease the pain. But when I wake up every morning I'm reminded that I'm not invincible. I'm not the brick house I want to be. Sure I'm a beacon of hope for some. A good friend to others. But how long can I keep going? I've been trying to drown myself in company to help ease the pain. To remind myself that people care about me and want only the best. I wake up next to Blaze sometimes -- after a night of drinking. It brings me a smile -- but not relief. Everyone is glad to be by my side; but how long can my sides go on? Why am I so sad? Why do I feel so lonely when people want to have my company? Why am I so worried about my future? I conclude I am frightened. I am afraid. What if something happens? What if I drive everyone away -- the people I care about? What if something happens to them in their owns lives? Can I save them? When will it happen? How? I am paranoid. I am paranoid, afraid, tired, and old. I know why. Time and the people I've already lost. What gall I have to let them drift away. What gall I have to let people die while I was asleep. I am only one when I wish to be one-hundred. The clock ticks every time I rest. Every time I drink. Every time I chat. Someone I like could be dying. Someone I LOVE could be dying. Am I irresponsible? Am I slacking? Do I not try my best? Even though I save lives and put an end to suffering -- I cannot stop my own. My head is always filled with questions and 'what if' situations. I cannot drown them out. There are more of them than there is genuine thoughts. I need someone to help distract me. I need someone special in my life. Who wants an old fish like me? I could name someone... but who knows where they are anymore. Far, far away. Farther than my heart could even bother. Purple. So lovely -- intelligent. Rich... beautiful. Yet so far away -- out of the reach of my hands -- my eyes. I need someone in my life. But how long would that keep going? How long will I keep going? I want to stop. But I cannot. For me. For my friends. lEND LOGl
Entry #24 Well... I've stopped freaking out for the time being. Leave it to pals to talk some sense into you. I've got too much on my mind. I need to get some hobbies -- or back into old ones. Where did I put my koto anyways? Probably gathering dust in storage. Maybe I'll take someone out to a nice dinner. Is there anything out here in council space that's even worth going to? The place on Mud is nice -- but it feels a little more casual. I'm talking something more.. fancy. Ah well -- it's just an idea. Something else other than drinking in the hot tub. Oh -- right. I'll be getting my ship upgraded again soon enough -- so I'll have some space to play around with. Yeah -- I know what I'll do. I'll have to take some more out of sector jobs to help pay for it without being tight for cash. ...Just buck up, yah old coot. You wanted to go into this profession for a reason, didn't you? ...When is the last time Council space has had a proper hospital? It's always clinics. I've never seen one in fact... how are all these people managing? No matter -- That's what I can distract myself with. A project. I'll need funds -- and I'll brainstorm on that. Maybe ask on StarNet to see if any charity could fund it. Of course -- and I know a few more medically inclined folk around here who could operate it. I'm going to start planning right away. lEND LOGl
Entry #25 It's been quite a while since I've written down my thoughts. Council Space is in an interesting position right now. Colonies are being attacked left and right, but the ones that I've been sticking around have been left relatively... peaceful. I want to stay things have been calm, but it would be ignorant to blot the fact other places have been attacked, and the possibility that the Ranch or the Berg could be next. Only time will tell how many stitches I'm gonna have to do. Speaking of colonies -- I'm finally going to get a proper hospital up on a space station. The project is Council funded so I don't have to dip into my own funds. Though I will be co-owning it with some... woman? Lolataaehaoewh or something. Long as she doesn't get in the way of treating patients, we should be peachy. It'll be exciting to have somewhere with a dedicated medical facility so I don't have to invite strangers onto my ship just to properly do my job. I hear the construction is coming along nicely, but we'll see just how long it takes. ...There isn't much else to talk about. Some old faces have been popping up, I guess. Blaze still comes by to get her little lunches... that's about the only routine thing I do except taking jobs or drinking myself to sleep. I'm just getting tired again. Don't got nothing else to do. Maybe I should get a hobby... like those video games the youth are crazy about? Or maybe something more productive. Heck, might even go back to school. Who knows? lEND LOGl
Entry #26 Almost been a month, little notepad app. But you know I always come back. And I've got a good bit to tap out. Let's start with what happened at the Ranch. The creepy mime terrorists. You could call me quite shocked when the cellphones started going off -- especially when the bombs went after. I'm sure no one could've predicted that. Expect Sol, that old fart. I tried to chase after the main one -- at least it seemed like it was, with a little bit of help. Of course, I'm not ready for such physical activities now-a-days -- so he got away. I DID chase one of the two minion types into the sights of the IG, so that's good. I would've kept chasing, but there were some injured from the blast. I had to put my duty first and save their lives -- which I managed with the Ranch's clinic. The others were... so mangled. Ruggedly gasping for air and trying to move limbs with tendons severed from the blast. It was... fucking awful. I can still see the burnt and charred faces of them -- wide eyed as they looked to me with the expectancy of salvation. And I couldn't provide -- not matter how much I prayed I could. They were just... too far gone. I hope I might exact such pain upon that sick, twisted jester in the future. I want to see THEM torn apart by an explosion, and writhing for their life. ...Maybe not. That's a little dark. I just want the innocents lost avenged. Then... there is May. Oh dear sweet May... back again. I dearly missed her face... the luscious purple. ...They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. But after so many light-years... the heart becomes hurt and torn -- scorned by the lack of interaction. I was so happy to see her... elated. But I couldn't jump back into the relationship. I'm... too scared to commit again. What if we drift apart again? What if something happens? My heart cannot take another blow like that. I know I'll give up all together then. I feel like I'm already so close to doing so. I know I need someone special in my life to give my heart something to long and improve for -- but... I'm terrified. Can I take the step? Am I willing to risk it now? No. I need time. While it hurts me to say no to someone as beloved as her... I have to figure myself out again, with so many suitors knocking at my door. Maybe I'm doomed to an eternal cycle of self doubt and indecision with my heart. Perhaps I may find it in me to try again. ...I just want the aching to stop. I'd do anything to make it cease. ...Just about anything. ALRIGHT! Enough depressing shit -- good news! I'm hosting a spooktacular on the station and everyone seems hyped up for it! I'm glad to be bringing more traffic into it -- as I do love the place. It's offered me so many opportunities and a wonderful place to stay. And with the hospital around, I can easily perform my career and make a living! Y'know -- despite looking to the faces of the damned and the strings of my heart slowly losing integrity, I've got it AWESOME! Let me just take a moment to be thankful for the fucking rad life I've been given. Seriously Omizu -- you've got it made. Keep pressing on, you can do it! Woooooo! ...Just wish a friend would say that to me once in a while. I've decided to brainstorm more little events for the station to keep the folk coming through. Like -- a free check-up day! It'll give me an excuse to put some people on file. And of course, other holiday themed gatherings. Maybe an arcade tournament? Who knows! Life is awful and great at the same time. I just hope I can sort everything out before I lose it. lEND LOGl
