Well, I suppose I know how Ernal feels now. I haven't seen Moonfeathers in forever again. I guess that goes to show how much she loved me back. I'm sure she's off riding some other dude already, totally having forgot about me. What a worthless sack of red feathers. Since my last journal, I've been seeing Malli a lot more and she had been growing on me for awhile. We spent some time together, watched a few movies, I showed her the Springs, we spent a night together, and it feels like all so suddenly we were giving each other feathers. Just today we admitted we loved each other for the first time, and it all just felt so fast. I don't doubt myself when I say I love her, but it just all happened so fast i'm not sure I really got what went down. I'm sure the confusion will pass soon, though. This is what I wanted all along anyways, right? I've been thinking of just settling down on the Springs for awhile now. Nearly a year out in this frontier has aged me a lifetime, and I think it might be time to retire. Part time, maybe. I won't have to head out that much and Malli's there to share it with me. I could get used to it, I think. There's also another happy couple in town, Ernal and Kahlua. Who would have seen that one coming, huh? I never pegged Kahlua as that kind of guy, but the apple never falls far from the tree. I'm happy for them and I hope Kahlua can finally keep Ernal happy for once in his stressful life. Mud closed today. Malli and I met up for the lights festival, an event that only happens once a year on Mud. The sky lights up brilliantly, painting breathtaking waves of orange and red across an otherwise pitch black background. In all my younger years of hopping around from planet to planet, i've never caught an event quite like that one. I was happy to have been able to enjoy it with my friends. During the festival, Ernal made a speech and broadcast it on the radio. Mud is to be closed from outsiders, he said. It came as no surprise to me, but others were surely outraged. Come tomorrow, Mud will just be me, the other trusted residents, and my friends. A real paradise, maybe a new home for the Rabbits. I haven't actually written about them, but i've been getting some upsetting messages for awhile now. Sunshine made it overly clear it was them doing it, but I can't really be sure why. It sounds like they're out to get me because i'm the head of Mud security? It seems like they've had issues with Ernal and Mud in the past, but I have no clue as to why they would target me in specific. They said something about 'hidden places' and that I should 'stop increasing Mud's security', which I really haven't done all too much about. I'm scared of what they might try. They don't seem like very reasonable people.
It's all gone and it's my fault. Springs are just ashes. They killed Mick. All because I just kept those messages to myself and didn't tell anyone. Maybe we could've seen it coming faster or something but once they showed up there was nothing stopping those monsters. I can't describe the shame and disappointment of myself but I just still can't believe it's gone. It's all ashes. ...There's no way it was just my fault though right? I didn't even do anything I just worked at Mud and I was singled out for some reason. Maybe one of the Rabbits was wanted for something ma maybe Mick was what they wanted. He's dead now and nobody else is dead. They just used me as an excuse to kill Mick because he was doing something ba trying to do something they didn't like. Oh Kluex, it's just all gone. I sat in the ashes for what felt like a lifetime, next to what must've been Mick. I found his bandana in the mess and it's all I have of him now. I lost what I had left of Devi too. We all lost our home. Mick died defending himself and the springs and he's the most Rabbit i'd ever name a mammal damnit. Mick was a Rabbit in the end. I need to find Malli. And wash these ashes out of my feathers. I really haven't moved much since I was last there.
