The text in these pages is poor, but readable. One could say it’s… chicken scratch. Oddly, though the handwriting is poor, the wording is eloquent. I should have started this days ago, when I first arrived here. But… now’s better than never. For the first time since I cleansed my sins in blood, since I shed my life… I feel deserving of my rank among Kluex’s faithful. I know I am probably not, I still have much to prove, and trials of faith and flesh to overcome before the others really think me this way. Even so… the Human was not to me a real trial. When I was ordered to kill the Floran, I was hesitant, questioned it even. But this Human… he actively attacked Lyra! And the Sunguard… and me. I was ordered to kill him, but it had already been proven the right action, there was no need for faith in it... Even so, when I finally drove my knife into his throat I would have wept joyfully, if not for the pain that quickly revealed itself to my ebbing adrenaline. No more stuttering, no more shying away from duty. From now on I train with my spear and my axe, and a gun, if I can. Maybe I’ll find some good throwing spears? I get the feeling we aren’t actually training with melee weapons in preparation for war. Spears are too unwieldy to be used if we lose our rifles or sidearms. But… I think wielding them is more a spiritual purpose than anything, a balance of body and spirit. I like to think that. If I have to spill my own blood again, I will prove that... that those born Grounded can return to the right path, can fight with all their vigor for Kluex and for Avos. I'm going to prove I am as faithful as any who served before! Remind everyone that Kluex judges action over birth! And... try to live long enough to actually prove that. 'No being a hero.' Lyra said... At least a couple days medical leave is nice enough. -Chaac
My second entry… It’s been a few days since I was wounded, but I’m healing well. Opened up my wounds on patrols a few times. I spoke with Acolyte Lyra today, as well. Mostly about killing the Human… I felt a righteous dignity in his death before… He attacked us, right? Just because he didn’t want to take his mask off. He pulled a gun on Lyra and fired at her… He deserved what he got. No changing that now. In other news, the watch was quiet today. A few crazy Humans and I came on duty in time to carry Acolyte Illiam to the hospital for wounds. I was originally planning on going to train outside the city again tonight, after my patrols. But Lyra invited me to train with her. Unfortunately, the location we chose was… in a state of chaos. So no extra training session tonight. I don’t know what to think of Acolyte Lyra. She’s a good friend, a good listener. I feel she knows a lot more about me than I know about her. Certainly better talking to her than that other girl who seemed after my tail-feathers… If the Helios catches me doing that, I’ll have to pluck my whole crest. Maybe Lyra and I will get another chance to spar? I hope so. I don’t feel like I’m improving very much on my own… Will try not to get beat too badly. Don’t want to break my arm like Illiam. Also try not to mess up her plumage, it's nice not stuffed in that helmet. She must break a few feathers putting that on and taking it off. She doesn't need me breaking any more.
