((This book has a bit of wear and age about it, though all the writing on it appears fresh. On the cover of this book is a crude sketch of a human face wearing an RA cap, looking generally ugly and disgruntled. The book can be accessed through Herx-Ammans messenger bag.)) Herx-Amman 11/28/2414 Start plucking fresh. I'm bored. I'm PLUCKING bored so I'm writing in a shitty stained book that I found. This is fantastic! Ya! Hoo! Free to be my own liberated plucking bucko in here! Free to be me! Ya so... Port Last was conquered. That's not NEW news really but it's something I wanted to remember. After STUPID plucker Joshua deported me then everything just went to the ground. For Port Last AND me, I guess... Kluex judges me truly. He knows the shit I've been faced with since then. My clothes are falling apart and my feathers are not pretty like they used to be. I can't keep them clean and unbroken when I sleep on the plucking floor. No. Shit. POSITIVE THOUGHTS! That's what we're doing here. Ya. Positive thought list: I tried banana bread for the first time in Asani tonight. It was a little hard and the server was a weird... a robot or glitch or some shit. I still have some of the cigs that I snatched off that SHIT ASS MERCHANT that swiped my ship. Cool, bucko! Hope you enjoy beating the pluck out of that terminal every time you get stuck in FTL! Kluex still guides me on my journey. I'm scraping through the dirt but the skies leads only to him... Positive thoughts, Herx. And guidance. Anyways... Here's a doodle of some human and apex that held guns on me today in their frigid plucking ship when I just asked for a ride. Nice digs, ya broads!
Herx-Amman 11/29/2414 People on Asani are shit holes. SHIT HOLES!! I walk up to some giga avian chick and say 'Ey, you a flightless?' and then she gets all defensive and acts like she wants to fight so I call her a name. Then she goes and tries to rip my pluckin beak off! I got a good hit in before flyin that shit coop. Heh... Then I'm running, ye? Calling for a ride out of Asani since my own ship is probably in a thousand different pieces in some greasy chop shop and what do I get?? Some giant, STUPID buttpecker of a glitch who CHASES after me and says 'YOU NEED A LIFT???' then throws me in the pond under the Asani Inn! 'R U A WATR BIRD? DER-HERHER!' Shut up! Plucker! You don't even talk good! ... Anyways I barely got away from that clown and just sat by the beampad. My body still hurts so bad from all that shit. Good shit has happened to me though, thank the Aether! Rookster is the name of that big ass avian that socked me in the beak. I guess she felt bad or something cause she was suddenly ultra chill and invited me to her ship. After everything I'd been through I just... Ugh, I started bawling. I'm super embarrassed about it. There was like 2 other people standing there watching me like that. Now they're going to see me later on and be all like 'Ye, you're that guy we watched blubbering in that hefty chicks arms. Yer gross.' NOT where I want my reputation... Doesn't matter. Rookster let me use her bath tub and it was pluckin glorious cause I hadn't bathed in like 4 days. I didn't ask her to watch me get dressed either but whatevs. Got a free meal and she even let me sleep on the carpet next to her furnace. Ye... Positivity! I think I have... a friend? Maybe, I dunno. Rookster seems cool when she isn't tryin to tear me in half or looking at me be naked. Also, when I was down on Asani scavenging, I found these PLUCKIN SWEET ASS CRAYONS!!!
Herx-Amman 12/3/2414 KLUEX! I pray for your guidance but where are you leading me?? I slept in a tree outside of Asani last night and let me just tell you a little bit about my day to day, ye? Lemme start with a few things I've never thought I'd have to say as often as I have. "Please don't kill me!" I'll yell as I run for my life! "At least I'm stranded on a rice farming colony!" I'll say when I'm stealing pluckin' rice. "I don't want to touch it or look at it!" I'll yell when... I think you get the pluckin idea, KLUEX! I can't even pluckin understand what you're Kluex... Please forgive me. You're judging me, I know you are. Please just let me tell you about what I've been through, ye? Like you don't already know. I was trying to get a ride out of Asani again. This time I asked specifically that no psychopath show up which I know is stupid but I'm fed up with it! I mean this human chick and her apex goon held guns on me and took more pixels than I think it was worth but they didn't hurt me. I was desperate so I asked her to give me another ride. Turns out I'm better off where I am, somehow. Anyways, I asked if she does any scavenging which I'm pluckin' ACE at and you know what she did? She asked if I had any guns, which I didn't so she made FUN of me when I showed her my pepper spray! She treated me like a dumb little chick so I got really mad then pepper sprayed the SHIT out of her!!! Then I did some kind of... I dunno some jump kick and hit her in the chest. She dropped her PDA and I took it and hauled ass out of there! It was all a blur but I distinctly remember how she screamed. Ye, I felt kinda bad about that but she came after me with a gun!!! By your work I imagine Rage-Beak showed up right then and there, huh? After I fell out of that building I had to give the PDA back but Rage-Beak kept that human and her robo-bud from pluckin eviscerating me. It was good but Rage told me off right there in front of everyone! 'U stealin shit, Herx?? Kluex don't like so Ima kill you if you do again!!!' I've made it a pluckin habit of getting embarrassed with an audience! Anyhow I know you must be busy judging everyone else so let me wrap this shit up. Rage-Beak took me out of there and threatened to kill me again. Said I'm only faithful when it's 'convenient'. He don't know... Then when no one was looking, you showed me your mercy! Positive shit! YEEEE!!! Rage-Beak, despite telling me what a good for nothing I am gave me 237 pixels! Hot damn, Kluex! Way to shine a light! That's uh... That's really all the positivity I got but it's a big one! Got cigs that aren't stale for once, heh! Anyways, Kluex. Don't let me sink any lower, ye? I promise I won't let you down. I doodled Rage-Beak for you, Kluex. Tell him to calm the pluck down, ye? Also, I'm not so good at drawing humans but here's that chick I sprayed. Don't be mad at me for that.
Herx-Amman 12/10/2414 Sweet. So I learned something new. NEVER ASK FOR A PLUCKIN' RIDE ANYWHERE!!! Fool me thrice and shame on me! So the genius that I am asks for a ride out of Asani because PLUCK me, right?! So low and behold it's that chick that I pepper sprayed looking for what she calls SPACE-STUDS. Like ye, I get it. She wants tail. Right. Anyways she says she isn't whacked the hell out but I know better! After she finished sobbing in the rain like some weirdo she pluckin' THROTTLES me sayin 'U gnna help me fnd rock hard abs! AUUGAUGAUGAH!!'... So shit. I mean I can't flee the pluckin' planet AND she's a psychopath so I go around asking people about space-studs and 'abs carved out of moon-stone.' What an adventure, ye. NEEEXT we get on the comms on her interstellar ice bucket and ask the whooole pluckin' sector about where we can find smooth skin man junk, like really? It's bad enough I look like a moron in front of a small crowd but now I'm asking about 'SPACE-STUDS' to the whole galaxy! 'SPESS-STEDS EEEERRRR!!!'... That's her. Then she yanks out a bag of NOT SPACE-COKE CUZ SHE'S TOTALLY SOBER, REMEMBER??? I try to wrestle it away from her and the shit goes flying all over the place! Uuugh okay... I'm down to my last sac of dry rice and the shit is blue. My rice got moldy and turned BLUE! So thanks for that, KLUEX! Ima eat it anyways, pffft!!! Okay next on the list. Positive shit... OH YEEE!!! Kluex? Ol' Herx-Amman has amassed a small harem. Lemme tell you about them, ye? First is some creep-o pasty human whos name I don't know. He always wears some kevlar vest and scarf over his face or some shit and sits in the corners of bars by himself like some weirdo. I start talking to him and he's all like 'I'm not in that line of work.' and I said 'Who said I was going to pay you?' So I got that shit in the bag! Even if he don't know it yet. Next is... Sirria? Siarra? Some shit. Anyways I had to lure a couple blabbermouths away from the bar where she works just to be able to talk to her. She tells me 'I have a boyfriend.' and I say 'So? Bring him too.' I think... A bottle of wine is only 7 pixels on Asani. So I got her probably and maybe her boyfriend too, I dunno. Soooo don't pluck this up for me, Kluex. Ye? Anyways, enough of that shit. Here's another doodle of that freak, Ximena.
Herx-Amman 1/6/2415 KLUEX! I have no idea what I'm doing! Ha! It's like if anything really good happens to me, I have to do something to balance that shit out so I stay rock pluckin' bottom! First Skarti says there's no chance of me being a priest but nooow? Eeeeh, I'm not so sure! It's like he's hinting that I might have a chance. I mean, I know he was pluckin' with me when he started handing me hatchlings picture books but I wasn't gonna say 'no'' to Priest Skarti! Oh and I started using BLISS, haha! Remember how I was talking about balance? Not uh... Not what I really wanted but some humey gave me a pill and said it would help me with my anxiety or something which I NEED and pluckin' SHIT was that some good stuff! I mean I didn't even care that I was living in a tent in the wilderness! I was having like, the deepest conversation with myself and I totally felt like I could have been standing in the Aether! Kluex this couldn't be a bad thing... could it? Anyways I had to pay 40 pixels for another pill the other day. That was almost all my money but UGH! He was there and I wanted to feel like that again. Kluex guide me. Kluex show me strength. "Think positive, Herx!" I can hear you saying that up there, Kluex. I will! I totally will! One thing is I started looking for jobs! I mean they'd have to be here in Asani unless someone can give me a ride to and from where I need to go. I tried taking that ugly floran 'Silk-Spinner's job under some pain in the cloaca yellow glitch. You know what that glitch pluckin' did?? He fired a gun in the air, GAVE it to me and told me to clean it! Kluex! How you gonna let that happen to me?? You know I'm scared of guns and the plucker told me to clean it so what did I do? I chucked the thing into the pond. There. Boom. Water cleans shit. Problem solved. I KNOW that's not how you clean it but I was nervous with that thing in my hands! He smacked me and threatened to hurt me more! Asani guards didn't do SHIT! Well after that was over I hung out with Rookster some more. Shes been acting WAY too nice to me lately and it's making me super uncomfortable. She hugs me WAY too tight for way to long and she calls me her 'chirpster' and... I don't want to hurt her feelings or nothin' but I just don't see that happening. I mean, shit! She intimidated me into going out and getting drinks with her! She like, forced a date out of me and what am I gonna do about it?? She's 3 times bigger than me and has already shown she has no issue beating the shit out of me! Okay BLAH BLAH BLEH enough of all that! Kluex, I uh... I saw this human in my dreams the other night. The one that was giving me the drugs.
Herx-Amman 1/21/2415 Woow! KLUEX!!! You have been very good to me! I mean I'm still poor and living in a tent but I'm not complaining! No!... Pluck, I ought to be! Kluex, why??? No, no I'm just kidding! Hahaha!!!... You've answered my prayers and I've been wasting all the pixels you've graced me with on wine and drugs. I wish I never heard of bliss... It's been so many days since I've taken any that sometimes I swear I see it dancing before my eyes, my muscles ache and I get so angry! I only have 25 pixels so I can't buy any more and I still owe the dealer 3 pixels from the last time he sold to me! Aside from that, almost everyone I care about is leaving! They say only for so long but I know people change their minds. Siarra and Turavis are going to Avos. They say they're coming back but what if they're much happier there? Why wouldn't they be? I hear it's so nice and Antares is pluckin' shit! Christy I haven't seen in a while and even Priest Initiate Nefeta is going back to Avos! She is going to be made a priest in your name, Kluex, should you will it. It is good for her but I- Guidance... Please. As I said, you have been good to me! I recognize it. I mean, woah. Priest Initiate Nefeta and I are now courting and I- I mean I've courted others in the past but... She is going to be a priest aaand she is a female! Ah HA!!! How do you like me now, pa??? Wha- Kluex? No! Nonono I'm not shallow! It's not like that! She has been very kind to me and has made me a better follower in your light! Yes! Oooh ho ho! Let me tell you about that one day! You know the one but- Don't fault me on pride! I am proud only to have done your will! Nefeta entered my camp just as I realized a floran had set up a tree for living in next to my tent! She thought I was breaking one of your holy commandments! I was so scared of dissapointing her and you that by your grace, I found the courage to burn down the florans home and drive the floran out! Shit, I was scared! I never confronted a floran before but with the torch in hand I scared it away! Ah ha!!! It was the biggest rush of my life! Another thing is you've introduced me to Priest Krishna. I hope you will warn me if I should be afraid! She says that she is a part of your teachings, though not like what I've grown up learning. I don't even know if- I don't uh... Help me out, Kluex. Ye? Finally, accept this one into your service! I think she would be crushed if you denied her priesthood. I tore the drawing out after I sketched it and uploaded it onto my PDA. I colored it in some human software I downloaded. I uh... No, I didn't pay for it. It's- It's like 450 pixels!!! Holy Kluex! Don't get mad at me for it, please! It's just humey stuff! Besides, I could be a pirate in your name, huh? That would be cool! Captain Herx-Amman! Scourge of the faithless all over Starnet! Yar har-har, ye buttpeckers!!!
Herx-Amman 5/12/2415 Well I guess I'm a Kluex pluckin cripple now! Winged Arbiter!!! I mean... You watch me be thrown out of my village, do pluckin despicable things just to survive, see me obtain and lose TWO ships and now I can't even get up to shit in the bushes without help! It's a mercy that I have Christy here to lend me a talon or I'd just wither and pluckin die. I also have Turavis and Glauen to thank... I don't know where I'd be without their help. I warped into Dexters Garden on my busted ass ship in hopes of getting a job farming or fishing or SOMETHING but instead of just stopping to orbit my ship cut off FTL a little too close and I pluckin CRASHED! I swear I must have broken the sound barrier several times over before slowing and hitting the terrain. I hardly remember a thing before impact but Turavis told me he fought some people off, thinking they had beaten me. He's a real pal, that guy... I'm completely floored that he bothers to spend a moment of his time around me. I dunno. He's kind of a tightly wound guy so maybe he hopes for some chance to loosen up around me. We're like total opposites. I could use some of his discipline and really I think he could do with a little unwinding. Maybe once I don't look like a pluckin corpse I'll get him out to hawk the doveys. KEH! Eh. Speaking of doveys, Priestess Nefeta should be getting done with her rounds in the spur and will have some time to spend with me. She and I clash sometimes because, Nefeta is kinda an opposite of mine too. I dunno. She seems to lighten up a lot more when I cut up around her so maybe that counts for something. I've missed her a whole lot. I know Glauen will probably think I've fled Dexters Gardens to avoid paying off my huge plucking debt for destroying some building but I'll come back once I've healed and Nefeta returns to her duties. I have no pluckin clue how I'm going to pay off whatever behemoth amount I owe. Maybe I just shouldn't come back... That's a nice though but I couldn't do that to him.
