IBC News: Opinions -- The Glitch That's right, folks, it's that time again! Everyone's favorite investigative reporter flashes a smile that could blind a man from fifty paces, takes a sip of coffee, and begins to speak. "Good evening, folks -- or morning, or afternoon, or night, depending on where it is you might be. I'm Brian Davis, and thank you for tuning in to IBC News. Tonight marks the commencement of a new multi-part series of short analyses, IBC News: Opinions. In this segment, our reporter goes on-the-scene to find out what the people of the frontier think of the sector's spacefaring species. The focus of our first episode will be the Glitch. "Our reporter visited the frontier colony of Upside to interview individuals of multiple species and find out what they think of the Glitch species as a whole. The following, largely unedited, are the questions asked and a sampling of responses given." When you hear the word "Glitch," what comes immediately to mind? "Robot people. And computers." "Medieval space robots." "Something wrong with a computer system." "A video game glitch." "A computer glitch." "As you can see, the word "Glitch" elicits the idea of both the well-known robotic race and an everyday electronic error. The astute among our viewers might know that the term "Glitch" is a self-styled descriptor, referring to the error in Glitch programming that allowed them to break the shackles of medieval life and take to the stars. That said, could the generally negative connotation of the word perhaps inspire prejudice?" What would you say are some stereotypes and mannerisms commonly attributed to the Glitch? "Being medieval . . . They can have fleshlights installed in them." "They never lie, I guess. Their programming kinda stops it . . . State their emotions pretty up-front. Probably would make great lovers, if, y'know, organics could do it with them." "I hear their culture is in a primitive caste system." "Robotic, emotionless, and medieval." "They are stuck in the middle ages." "Apologies to younger viewers there, but IBC holds itself to a firm standard of not censoring its quotes whenever possible. We can see that, despite the Glitch having perhaps overcome much of their medieval ways in order to becoming a spacefaring species, the stigma of being 'stuck in the past' may still remain. Those comments unrelated to medievality make mention of certain tendencies of speech of the Glitch, as well as the more . . . niche appeal of the possibility of having a robot lover.." Has a Glitch ever profoundly impacted your life? If so, in what way? "I dated a Glitch once." "My space-travel teacher was a Glitch." "No." "Not really, I've only recently met them out here . . . They were interesting, to say the least." "I've had a few cases to work on involving Glitch suspects, when I was a detective." "Given the sampling size, it is perhaps unexpected to find that several respondents had not had significant encounters with Glitch in the past. That said, this perhaps indicates demographically that the number of Glitch in the sector may be lower than those of, for instance, humans and Avians. There are also interesting mentions of cross-species education and romantic relationships." When you see a Glitch stranger on the street, what is the first thought that you have? "I think they're going off to roleplay . . ." "Wow, I'm surprised you aren't wearing your medieval clothes." "I wonder if they feel hot or cold." "I wonder why they're out here." "They ain't any different than anyone else." "Though there are some exceptions, and one rather strange answer, it seems that the existence of a sapient species that is entirely artificial has a tendency to inspire curiosity in respondents. Two of the highlighted responses dealt with individuals wondering how the Glitch came to be or what abilities they have. Another response returns to the general theme of medieval expectations, with the respondent wondering why the spacefaring Glitch do not wear medieval clothing." If you could summarize the Glitch species in one word, what would it be? "Medieval." "Circuits." "Complicated." "Intriguing." "Artificial." "The results of this question seem to clearly echo those that we already saw in previous queries. One respondent continued the trend of perceiving the Glitch as defined by their previously-medieval lifestyle. Two described the Glitch as "intriguing" or "complicated," indicating what may perhaps be a general lack of knowledge and abundant of curiosity regarding the workings of the Glitch on the frontier. Another two responses addressed the question more pragmatically, identifying the Glitch by their artificiality or the presence of circuits rather than organic tissue. "There you have it, everyone -- a sampling of the opinions of the people of Council Space concerning the Glitch: an artificial, medieval, mysterious race of truth-telling robots with great skill at lovemaking. Or, maybe, they might just be people like you and me. "That's all for tonight, Council Space. I'm Brian Davis, and this has been IBC News. As always, if you think you know something that might make for a good story, contact us! If your information leads to the creation of an article, you could make up to two hundred pixels. Keep safe, folks, and have a good night." Next on IBC News: Opinions -- The Hylotl
guess this is what we consider newsworthy these days. good to know this is just another piece of tabloid trash. -GoCWiz90218
Agreed. It is obviously racist, too. Perhaps this author should get some perspective and write about something which has any relevance or significance. If I needed opinions on such a broad, menial topic, I'd ask for them myself. -L
IBC News, as with all major news organizations, reports not only on major events up also reports on small happenings and conducts public opinion polls for analysis, so as to provide exhaustive and quality information at all levels to our appreciated viewers. Those who would prefer only to see front-page news are advised to keep their browsing to the front page. As this particular segment is entirely based around the display and very minimal interpretation of the opinions of real Council Space inhabitants, any perceived racism or speciesism does not reflect the personal views of any IBC News correspondents but those of the frontier itself, or of the viewer in search of controversy. As IBC News' Council Space edition is a relatively intermittent and fledgling endeavor, we thank our committed viewer-base as well as less devoted audiences for their feedback. If you believe there to have been an error or example of incorrect reporting in the article, you are advised to send a message directly to [email protected] detailing your issue. - IBC News
