IBC News: Assault and Suicide on Upside It's that time again, folks. Everyone's favorite reporter takes a sip of his coffee, but this time there are no smiles. He clears his throat and begins to speak. "Good evening, folks -- or morning, or afternoon, or night, depending on where it is you might be. I'm Brian Davis, and thank you for tuning in to IBC News. Tonight, a more somber tale -- a short time ago, gunshots broke the quiet atmosphere of a calm day on the colony Upside. Colony law enforcement, followed by our field reporter, quickly discovered a Novakid bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds and closed into the walk-in freezer of a local cafe." The video cuts to a feed of the Novakid in question staggering, wounded, towards an officer. "Luckily, due to quick thinking by the law enforcement in question and various bystanders, emergency medical attention was able to be administered in time to return the Novakid to stable condition. Mere moments after the first response, however, the victim identified their shooters one of the "helpful" bystanders -- who then began to run. "The suspect, a human woman, was eventually cornered and arrested by officers on-scene, and summarily sentenced to exile from the planet for attempted murder." This feed shows the same officer from before placing a woman in handcuffs and marching her off. "Unfortunately, all was not yet finished. Mere steps away from the planet's teleporter the woman managed to break free and escape to the roof of the teleporter building. There, cornered by police, she flung herself from the building and to her death." A hasty shot of the woman's mangled corpse, the worst bits censored. "All in all, this incident represents a tragedy that has severely shaken what has otherwise been a number of days without any security incidents for the colony. Mayor Argus Hemstreet, when approached, declined to comment -- but IBC News has reason to believe that an official statement will be made by his office in the coming hours or days. "That's all for tonight, Council Space. I'm Brian Davis, and this has been IBC News. As always, if you think you know something that might make for a good story, contact us! If your information leads to the creation of an article, you could make up to two hundred pixels. Keep safe, folks, and have a good night."
