Post your favorite Humanity Fuck Yeah stories here! These are sci-fi (mostly) stories with a focus on humans being badasses in some way. I'll start of course, Reinforcements Required: Transmission Received From: Prospector Ztrak To: Central Command Message Begins I have completed my survey of the target world. The world in question is the third of the system, sitting well within the habitable zone. The atmosphere is breathable, and it supports an array of different climatic conditions, several of which would be suitable for colonisation. Unfortunately many of the raw materials have been depleted, however it would make a fine farm world and a good staging post for exploiting the other planets in the system which remain entirely untouched by the local species. The local species is sitting on the cusp of leaving their homeworld. They have sent probes into the surrounding system, but have not yet escaped the orbit of their world in crewed ships. In addition, all their spacecraft are entirely unarmed. They are skilled in warfare, but their technology is primitive and they have not yet unified their government. They should prove no match for our forces. I recommend immediate extermination and colonisation. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Praetor Dadrant To: Central Command Message Begins We have completed our initial assault and established a beachhead on the planet's surface. Resistance from the local species is intense but disjointed, and as intelligence indicated their weaponry is no match for our own. We remain on schedule to completely annex the surface within 4 of the local days, and have begin extermination procedures on any remaining members of the local species around our landing zone. Unfortunately, one of the cruisers has been downed by a lucky missile strike. My engineers inform me that the missile hit a dead zone in the shields around the engine and struck the anti gravity projector, causing the ship to loose altitude and crash into the ground. We have assessed the local species' missile guidance systems, and do not believe they are capable of reproducing this intentionally. Reinforcements required to replace our lost cruiser. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Praetor Dadrant To: Central Command Message Begins We are continuing to gain ground, however our progress has slowed. We were unable to quickly recover the downed cruiser, and it appears that the species has examined the wreckage and discovered some weaknesses in the cruiser designs which they can exploit. Despite intelligence's assurances that the species was divided, we are seeing increasing coordination between different factions. It appears that our attack has encouraged greater cooperation between them. We have lost several more cruisers to their new tactics, and although we are still making significant gains it appears that this endeavour will be more costly and time consuming than initially estimated. I have temporarily suspended extermination procedures in order to devote more forces to the front lines. We will mop up any remaining civilians after the military threat has been eliminated. Reinforcements required to replace our cruisers, I request heavy cruisers to counter the species' new strategies. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Praetor Dadrant To: Central Command Message Begins I have re-evaluated our projections, and come to an unfortunate truth. It appears that the cost of this enterprise is now prohibitive when compared to the potential gains. As a result, I have begun the withdrawal of our forces from this world. I apologise for my failure, and will of course complete the Final Rites once our forces are off the surface and my command is no longer required. Our ships have been coming under fire from plasma weaponry based on the ground. Since this technology is beyond the species' capabilities, we believe that they have scavenged the technology from our fallen ships. I have ordered my forces to obliterate any downed ships so that they may no longer do this, however with our forces beginning to become stretched thin this is not always possible. Even the heavy cruisers are vulnerable to plasma fire, and I do not want to risk any more lost resources if they can be avoided. Reinforcements required to cover our withdrawal. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Praetor Dadrant To: Central Command Message Begins We cannot leave. I fear my failure here has had ramifications beyond the loss of materiel and a promising new world for the empire. A short while ago, our scanners detected one of our cruisers acting outside of any specified operational plans. It was not responding to hails, nor transmitting any operational telemetry. When I sent another ship to investigate, the rogue vessel fired upon and destroyed it. It is my belief that the species has somehow repaired and relaunched one of our fallen ships under their own control. My engineers assure me that the species could not possibly have the ability to understand and commandeer our technology so quickly. They insist that it must be some malfunction, a glitch of some kind. I know in my heart that they are wrong. If they can repair its engines and its weaponry, then perhaps they can repair its warp drive as well... Needless to say this cannot be allowed. We have travelled the stars alone for eternities, and allowing another species access to the heavens, even one as small and insignificant as this, would be a disaster. As a result, I have rescinded my orders for withdrawal and begun a fresh assault. All traces of our technology on this world must be eliminated. Reinforcements required for supporting the new advance. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Senior Adjunct Sarel To: Central Command Message Begins My deepest apologies for daring to contact you directly, my lords. Unfortunately, I am the most high ranking of the remainder of our forces here. The command cruiser has been destroyed, taking with it Praetor Dadrant and the rest of his command team. He was not alone, we are taking heavy losses on all fronts. Pockets of ground forces have been cut off from our beachhead and all remaining starships have retreated to defend our final stand here. The Species has us beaten. The more ships we sent at them, the more they took over and sent right back at us. While at first we thought they had stolen plasma weaponry from our fallen ships, it is now deployed in such great numbers that it is clear they must have reverse engineered it and begun manufacturing it themselves. The Species must not be allowed to escape this world. If they do so it will be a disaster for our empire. I request the deployment of the World Eater. Do not attempt to retrieve our unworthy souls before the reckoning. We gladly give our lives to save our people. Reinforcements required to protect the World Eater's assault. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: <<<<Unknown>>>> To: Central Command Message Begins Greetings, alien scum. My name is General Wilson, acting commander of the provisional Combined forces of the Planet Earth. Or whatever the bureaucrats are calling it today. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the delivery of this very fine spaceship. It really was too kind. My engineers inform me that it has enough fire-power to destroy an entire planet. Let me tell you I am just itching to try it out, it's such a shame your guys never managed to complete the firing sequence. I'm also a big fan of this star map. So many little lights. My engineers tell me that this one translates as something like 'Mother Prime'. I wonder what would make a bunch of big ugly aliens name a star system something like that? See you soon. Transmission Ends Transmission Received From: Central Command To: All forces Message Begins EMERGENCY ALERT All forces to abandon current orders and report to Mother Prime immediately. Hostile forces inbound. ++REINFORCEMENTS REQUIRED++ ++REINFORCEMENTS REQUIRED++ ++REINFORCEMENTS REQ*&%][''';. Transmission Ends
m80 here you go 104 individual HFY stories Have fun http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/humanity-f-yeah/104 hfy comp/YcsMLLp/ EDIT: Er, just a tip There a few repeats, just so you know. Has to happen in a dump this big. Not more than a couple though. Also two of them are a bit, uh... adult.... Forgot which ones so have fun with that.
