((This is my first time giving a journal entry, if you want to comment OOCly on this about my grammar, I would be happy to appreciate your criticism, for I am not that good at writing. Also, just saying something like,"this sucks," or something that doesn't tell me what to improve on doesn't help at all. A good example would be,"You need to be more descriptive about what _____ looks like," or something. Thanks for your constructive criticism!)) The journal is in the form of a notebook. This notebook would be found in one of Ciel's side pockets. The front cover has the name Ciel printed on the front. The writing begins on the first page. OK, I decided to make a journal. This is in-case something happens to me and someone happens to find it, they know what happens or something, so, now to my first entry. Entry #1. 4/24/2015 I adopted a snugget today, it's real cute, and it's plasma color is a light blue. I decided to go get food for it to try, and it seems to really like corn for some reason. Later I beamed down to Katune, and met a floran, his name is Blood something, whom mentally seems like 5 years old, I didn't tell him that though. Well, we got into a conversation and then a apex comes into the building, the building is a bar by the way, and I introduced myself to him, he told me his name is Boris. Blood said something like,"Floran wantssssss to play with Boris!" and Boris said no, but I asked Blood if he wanted to come onto my ship and check out my snugget. He excitedly said yes and we headed to my ship, I told him that if he had any food, that he could feed it to him, and he gave him some food, I forgot what. After that he just was playing with and petting my snugget. I just now realized I have not given my snugget a name. His name will from now on be, Stardust. well, After an hour or so of Stardust and Blood playing, Blood mentioned he was getting tired. I suggested him to go home and get some sleep, and that he could come back to play with Stardust tomorrow. He agreed, and left my ship with my beam-pad. I do hope he comes back, it was fun.
Entry #2. 4/25/2015 I have changed the set up of my ship and added some chairs and a table, and I am waiting for Blood to beam to my ship so we can play with stardust. I have been waiting for awhile, Blood has been talking to someone, and its taking quite a long time to do it. an hour has past, I am starting to think he isn't coming, but I will wait a bit longer. It has been a while, and I now have given up on Blood coming, if I see him, I may ask again, but I am going back down to Katune. It has been another while, me, Acacia, and Blood beamed up to my ship, and we played with Stardust, then played some old human game that seems to be called "bowling" with Acacia and Blood, and then we played with Stardust some more afterwards. I am starting to become good friends with them, which is nice, because they are very nice people. 'Least, when I'm near them. I hope we do stuff together more.
((None of you have criticized my work, besides the Poll, but your not telling me how to improve with the poll, and the tiny OOC thing before the entry said you can criticize my work, and I mean't by commenting on this itself. Basically I gave EVERYONE permission to post on my journal, but only OOCly, and only for criticizing, thanks!))
((I have no idea why you think you need criticism on your spelling, punctuation and grammar, or SPaG as it's more easily referred to. The only criticism I'd have, which is being very nitpicky, is that you may want to use a few less commas. Apart from that, though, looks great!))
((well, I am not that good at writing, usually. So I thought I might've spelled something wrong, or something))
Entry #3 4/26/2015 I have met another friend, his name is Lucian. He seems to be the owner or something of a colony called Chasm, which recently had a cave in, and after that cave in, I could come and check the place out. I can't wait until that happens, so I can check it out. After I met him, we got into a conversation and we eventually went to my ship, so he could meet my little stardust. We talked while doing that, then Blood called over the radio that he wants to play, and I invited him over, it was really fun. I hope there are more fun things that will happen today. I Just saw Boris at the Katune bar, I met him before I started this Journal and he is an apex, and he was making "Bolt Pistols", they looked like crossbows. I just got in an interview for being a guard on Katune, I won't say any of the answers or questions, but I think I got the job. If I do get the job, I will put anything interesting that happens in here, and I might even use it for anything suspicious that happens, just so I can easily remember it, in-case it was something bad. I didn't get it, I am going to talk to Acacia about working at the oil rig. I can't find Acacia anywhere, whatever. I recently bought some plushies for Stardust, he is ignoring them so far, but whatever, it's OK.
Entry #4 4/30/2015 I got a job at Glauen's bar, Horizon. I met Glauen online when talking about getting a job. so far I served, 10 people, it was fun, some stuff happened, but it's nothing important. I know with this job though, I may learn a bit, maybe some gossip, which I will tell no one, but any reader of this journal, for the information of any gossip will only be here. That, sadly, is all I have for today.
((I think it would be good if instead of going through each event that happened that day, she reflects on her feelings, her hopes, what critical things are going on that affect her, etc. It seems to me like a lot of it is "first I talked to bob, then I asked jimmy if he wanted to come on a drive with me and he said yes." Make things interesting, make them emotionally provocative and less like a history textbook! Otherwise, good to me! Your most recent entry was good. Keep improving!))
((He, and this is his journal, not a diary, sorry. But I will try and incorporate more emotions into it!))
Entry #5 5/1/2015 Today was awesome! at the bar, a jackass decided to come, then insult my friends. You may be thinking, how the hell is that awesome? You'll see. after he got a beer, which I was being an asshole to the asshole and waited like 3 minutes to hand it to him, then he headed upstairs, one of my friends flipped him off, it was nice. That isn't what makes it awesome, flipping him off, compared to what happened, is being real nice. Well, a minute after he went upstairs, I heard shattering glass, and I thought he vandalized the bar's property, the guard thought he did to, and got permission with max to do something. One way was to just leave the bar, the other is, get beat up by a human and a novakid, the novakid is the guard, 'till your unconscious, then be thrown in a jail cell by me. It was awesome, he decided to not leave, so he went the hard way. Oh that was so awesome throwing him in the cell, I used all my anger that I had at him from insulting my friends, vandalizing the bar, and such to throw him as hard as he could. If novakid had bones, I think he would have broken at least two, one from the fight in the bar, one from being thrown by me. So yea, today was awesome. Oh, also a glitch told me to tell someone that he runs a shipping company, I decided to put it in here also, he is a glitch with white medieval style knight armor, and he doesn't talk like a glitch, he doesn't even have the monotone type thing to his voice, its like hes not a robot or something.
Entry #6 5/3/2015 Chasm has opened up, there is only one door I can open at the moment though, and it is the hall of the dead. I want to see the inside of Chasm! oh well, the place looks a bit creepy anyways. if I had some sort of device that worked like a boomerang, I could activate a lever that likely opens the door to chasm... Anyways, nothing really happened. OK, I was let into Chasm by Lucian, looked around, it is sorta creepy, and there wasn't really anything to do. Although, I did get to explore a bit. I hope tomorrow is more eventful, and that seems like all I have to put here today. This journal has been lost, and may be found in Horizon in Katune, untouched by flames, for it was recently lost while Ciel was learning his job is gone, and that he needs to go somewhere for a new job.
