I almost died today. Surprisingly I wasn't shot, stabbed, or poisoned. For all I know, UMBRA hasn't even tracked me to this little niche in our expansive universe yet. No, I almost died because I had set Avis up with a women and it was hilarious. I typically try to use laughter and smiles as a facade to distract people away from my darker personality. Watching Avis work his way around a woman filled my soul with genuine amusement. I believe her name was Rookster, and in all fairness the two may be a match in whatever afterlife there may be. The whole time I was spectating their encounter I was stifling my laughter, but once she asked Avis if he wanted to "WRESTLE" I could no longer resist the urge. Surprisingly he did manage to get her to agree to dinner, though she was rendered unconscious in the process. I may make a hobby of this. On a more serious note, the people here are borderline insane. I've witnessed several deaths, a busted slave deal, and have been personally mugged by a pink Glitch. On the bright side the Florans seem tame enough, much more pleasant than their feral counterparts. Here's a list of notable people I've met and my thoughts on them at this point in time: Cole Harris "Detective"- Seems capable enough though he does tend to resort to violence rather quickly for someone who would consider themselves just. Has a thing for blowing off peoples legs. I can see myself having quite a lot of fun with him and his merry little band of law enforcers. He has good reason to question my motives. Viiker "hero"- Mostly a joke, hard to take someone seriously when they take themselves too seriously. I wouldn't trust him with a dime, he would most likely shoot it. His antics are amusing to watch. Has a biting fetish. Sessiel "Detective"- Spineless kid, tested his worth and he is worth nothing. Perhaps one day his potential will reveal itself. Spacechaser "Space"- Floran, adept with a spear. Is in a constant pissing match with Viiker, sometimes it's enjoyable to watch sometimes it's not. Always wants to duel, I admire his determination. A lot more level-headed than the hero, someone you could potentially rely on if the occasion demands it. Maz "kid"- This kid is hilarious, has the same problem the hero has. When I informed him that I was helping the Glitch fugitive QT we had a nice little back and forth. I've got him believing I'm evil, not too far from the truth but it will be nice to see how his piece fits in the puzzle. Doesn't realize he has a massive stick up his butt. Tyrr Zhar - Former Avian war commander. If there are any I would consider my equal here it would most likely be him. He can be a valuable ally, and an even more dangerous enemy if it comes down to it. I should avoid getting on his bad side. I will keep note of his bondmate, Sylia. She's a scientist from what I gathered from the conversation between them, and a smart one at that. If Tyrr and I are ever pitted against each other he will have her as a disadvantage. Seeing their relationship reminds me strongly of Izumi... There are a number of others I've acquainted myself with, though they have yet to proven themselves noteworthy. I'm glad to have found some friends from my past. Especially Omen, pretty sure he's the only one who knows anything about my affiliation with UMBRA. Hopefully they don't kill him if they find me. Then there is Avis, we both worked together in the past as detectives... or something along those lines. I enjoy his company, he will stay down to earth and serious. Glad I've gotten him to ease up. I have nothing more to add for the time being, I will be sure to update for future reference. End transmission.
I can't sleep anymore. I went to Omen about it when I learned he got sleeping pills from Sylia. Those were disappointingly ineffective. I took them in Marathon, just as a possible way of getting over my intense paranoia that an assassin is behind me at all times. That was not my best idea. I slept for all of ten seconds before I woke into a near murderous frenzy. Thankfully I composed myself before I did something I would have regretted. Fucking Florans on Taranis, I like them better when all they think about is stabbing. These ones play music far too much. Focus. The sleeping problems, how can I fix them? If I had some sleep then maybe I could come up with a solution on my sleeping problems. A catch-22, how troublesome. I had to go to Liberty Mills, those damn Florans and their terrible music. Now I have to deal with some joke of a pirate. No word of Tyrr, I need to gather more information on the Armada. I was also thinking of joining the USCM. History has an odd way of repeating itself. This may make it easier for UMBRA to track me, although the settlements out here are so remote I would imagine their database isn't connected to the main USCM network. I just need information. I've seen how the USCM here operates and I must say I am disappointed in their quality of personnel. UMBRA operatives, no matter how disturbed in the head they may be, are nothing if not professional. It's only a matter of time before they find me... Viiker and his damn relationship problems. He got his ass handed to him by Space, I wish I could have been there to see it. Thank goodness, I can't imagine the ego boost he would've gotten if he had won. This has also strengthened my opinion that Spacechaser may be a valuable ally in the future. Now the hero is all mopey. He can't even gather the confidence to ask that damn peaceful Floran Rose on a date. Im saddened that this was the most notable event of my day. I've infiltrated the Armored Wolves. They remind me a lot of Invictus and the parallels between the two are frightening. This time however, I do not plan on giving my loyalty to them. The leader seems capable, I would even go so far as to say I respect him. I have given my loyalty away before and it ended with my family dead. Regardless, I have notified the detective of their existence and come up with a suitable plan to stop violence and slavery in this galaxy. I should be careful, at this rate I may accidentally become a good person. End Transmission.
Bounties. You don't need a reason to place one on a person, you can even place a bounty on the person that placed a bounty on you. Bounties are the reason I've had such an entertaining day today. It started when I heard over the radio that a Glitch was rescinding the bounty he placed on another Glitch just moment earlier. So in a stroke of satirical genius I placed a bounty on my good friend Sessiel. Before I could say the bounty was a mere joke, one of Sessiels friends placed a bounty on myself. Her name is Ellie, I met her after the deathmachine attacked Taranis. That was when I saw an opportunity for amusement. In retaliation, I placed a larger bounty on her, I would need leverage for later. From what Omen told me, she had gathered a rather sizable group to go after my head. Even better. It was mostly uneventful until I had devised a plan to steal Ellies pixels from under her nose. With Omens help, I would be able to settle the entire situation in one fell swoop. We were talking at the hospital on Taranis when I had another stroke of genius that would fix the problem caused by my original stroke of genius. I would have Omen take my rifle and use it as proof that he completed the bounty. Thankfully Omen managed to improvise his way onto Ellies ship. This was the best part. After Omen retrieved the pixels he returned to my ship, I gave him his cut and he left. Soon enough I heard the radio emanate with Ellies voice, "Mars is dead, the bounty is complete." My goodness the feeling of being able to exclaim "Good work everyone!" was indescribable. The only thing that would have made it better is if I could have seen the look on her face when I said it. Regardless, the feeling was close enough to Nirvana. Pleasure aside, we had struck a deal to cease all the bounties on each other. I was going to use the stolen pixels as leverage but she told me to keep them. Oh well. I will have to keep tabs on this Ellie person. There is no way she won't be holding a grudge on me after the events of today. Hopefully she shows enough restraint not to shoot me on sight. Though I have bigger worries aside from a lowly engineer girl. End transmission.
Avis is dying. From what he's told me he has been shot three times, been hit by a grenade, and survived an explosion all within the past three days. His Armada friend told me the that Avis was treated to the best of the Armadas ability, Avis' critical condition proves otherwise. Quick note, the Armada soldiers are loyal to the group, just mentioning the Armadas incapability to properly treat Avis set his friend into a defensive frenzy. Regardless, now I must find a way to fix the organs that have turned into an almost literal mush. As well as remove that damn shrapnel without doing more damage to his body. Jesus fuck... Avis might die. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Perhaps that unbearable robot was right to question my mental health. Why am I even saving Avis? We're friends, that much has been established, but what does he offer me outside of being another contact within the Armada? If I don't save him Rookster will attempt to murder me, though she would be nothing more than a fly attacking a lion. If I do save him, he will be in debt to me, perhaps be so inclined to tell me more about classified Armada information. I need a coin. Why am I even thinking like this? If the roles were switched I'm sure Avis would stop at nothing to save me, at least I hope as much. I haven't slept ever since Avis was put in the life support chamber. I've been too busy running these damn simulations on this damn serum and studying the damn results. As of this moment I have run 300 simulations, tweaking the serum slightly each and every different time. At least I have gotten to the point where the serum won't cause dementia... Let's talk about the positives. If I can get it working correctly the serum will allow Avis' body to repair his Organs at an incredible speed, hopefully I can use the window of healing to remove all shrapnel from his body. There are some unavoidable side effects, because his body is healing at an immense rate he will be in immense pain during the process. I can only guess at the psychological trauma that would go along with this. In the end, if everything goes as plans Avis will be completely healed and ready to get shot within minutes after the operation. Optimistically speaking of course. I'm going insane from this... End transmission.
