Audio Files from Ace Jones

*The following is an audio file located on Ace Jones' mobile device. It's neither encrypted, nor hidden, and easily accessible if anyone took time to look through the device*

*The audio file starts with a few moments of silence, and a soft tapping noise in the distance. Finally, somebody (presumably Ace) takes a breath, and begins speaking*

"... So uh. I've never really kept a journal. Ever, uh. It's not something I really thought of. Honestly not something that seemed useful. But uh... now I got a phone... thing, and it's a lot easier to just keep track of what I'm doing." *Ace pauses for a moment, and a bit of shifting around is heard* "... I dunno really where to start, or why I'm doing this... Probably gonna look back at it later and laugh at how dumb this is. But hell, whatever. I figure if I die, and somebody cares enough, they can listen to these or whatever, and know what I've done. Probably coulda been better if I just wrote it, and they didn't have to listen to all this bullshit before the actual good part- uh. Stuff, happens. But whatever. I'm just gonna do it."

*Ace takes a rather deep breath, and lets it out slowly, and a sort of "fwump" sound is heard as his back hits what is, presumably, a bed.*

"... My name is Ace- uh. Casey. Casey Jones. I'm 22, and my birthday is June 15th, 2393. I was born in Chicago. I lived there for 14 years. Heh. And then, DUN-DUN-DUUUN, the fucking tentacles happened. The great hentai overtake. Hah. Makes for a wonderfully charming and absolutely gritty backstory for just about every damn human, doesn't it?"

*Ace gives a rather dry chuckle, and then sighs. Faintly, some crickets can be heard chirping in the distance*

"... But yeah. It's whatever. I lived with my mom and two brothers. Dad uh... He left a long time ago, when I was like 3. My youngest brother never actually got to see him. I wouldn't say I was the 'man' of the family or whatever, but I was bringing in a paycheck at about ten. My mom had like three jobs, just to keep us fed. I did the shopping and whatever, and a bit of the cooking. And when I had to, I'd pinch stuff. Just little extra stuff that helped us out in a tight spot, or stuff just for me, if I was feeling up to it.

"It was like that for a long time, until high school. I always kinda had problems in school. I've never been the biggest, or the prettiest, or really the strongest. And Chicago... well. The city is fucking harsh. Unforgiving, you fall off the assembly line, you're fucked. So the bigger kids picked on me. Y'know, rough me up a bit, make me give 'em money or whatever. So I... guess I learned how to fight there? I could only take it for so long until I just straight up socked one of 'em in the face. Dropped like a sack of fuckin' potatoes. Got my ass handed to me by the others, but eh. It was worth it. Messed with me a little less after that.

"... But uh. High school... Don't really know what it's like, since I got kicked out not even halfway through. And then the world ended after that. Like, seriously, I just got into /one/ fuckin' fight at school, and broke this kid's nose. And maybe his arm. And they sent me packing for it. So, just... I focused on bringing in a paycheck after that. Mom was upset, but not... too upset. She knew we needed the money anyway.

"It was just another fuckin' day at the office, y'know. A real shit one at that. I was walkin' home kinda pissed, I'd kinda been fighting with my mom that morning over something stupid with my younger brothers, and then work sucked ass even more. So the walk home was... kinda terrible, to say the least. The only thing that coulda made it worse was the Earth shaking, and tentacles just fucking everything up. I'd never seen that much destruction. Heard about it, maybe. But never seen it before. Buildings just... Falling. Everything, falling, crumbling, people screamin' and whatever. Me? I was stuck staring in shock, until someone grabbed me, and pulled me into an escape vessel. And after that, well...

"... We flew as far away from Earth as we could. Everyone pooled together the money in their pockets to pay for gas and food and whatnot, until we just couldn't go any further. I just... kinda sat there. I wasn't really in shock anymore, just... Thinking. What about mom. What about my brothers. Y'know, stuff like that.

"... Well. To this day, I haven't seen any sign of them. Not a fuckin' trace. I've looked around a bit, try'na find them or something, put a few ads out way back when I had the cash... Nothing. So... I've just stopped looking at this point.

"... After that, I was on my own for a long time. We landed in some... I dunno, spaceport or whatever. And then everyone went their separate ways. I just kinda... stumbled along, and tried to stay alive. Pinch a loaf of bread here, nab a wallet there, Water from the water fountain... It sucked. Sucked for two years, getting my ass kicked more times than I could count and getting thrown in jail a fuckload. Until finally, one day, I just... I decided I needed confidence.

"I was 16. I was tired of being scared, tired of always worrying about everything, and running away from people. Needed to be cool, intimidating, be somebody who nobody wants to mess with because nobody knows what he's thinking. So I put on a mask. Something about me, if you've ever met me, you know I wear a cover on my face. It's not because I'm missing my jaw, or because it's horribly disfigured. I don't have any scars on my face besides the one going across my nose. I just cover it. Just because.

"... At the time, it was partially necessary. Cameras were tricky, people were tricky. But... as I kept going, it just started to be a security thing. Now, I can't even go out into public without it, I can't function. I break down, get horribly insecure, and just... lose all my bravado. So I wear a mask. And it keeps me going.

"... I kinda hitch-hiked after that, all over the place. A couple years down the line, I shaved my head. It looked more intimidating, and I never had to worry about washing my hair. Never got in my eyes. It was easy. And cheap, now that I think about it. Days just kinda passed, same shit, different day. Nab what I can, sell off what I don't need. I was a genuine peddler for fuckin' years. How I survived with only a knife for 8 years after that, I don't even know. Maybe I was just still close to the core at that point. As I kept traveling, I kept heading further out, towards the frontier until one day, I ended up in Antares.

"Now, those of you that've been to Antares know just how much of a shitty place it was. Everywhere. The mortality rate was so goddamn high that the average life expectancy was about mid thirties - not that there was any kids there. Most common cause of death was bullets or bombs, and just under that was starvation, hypothermia, or drowning. First place I ended up? Out of all the fucking irony in the universe, New Chicago.

"By the time I arrived, it looked kinda like 'Ancient Chicago', what with all the ruins and rubble. But apparently that was due to some recent terrorist activity. Ah, yeah. The Outcasts. Those guys were a real fuckin' riot. I'll get to that in a bit. Basically, what I did on NC was walk out into the arid wasteland as far as I could go, until I found the most unexpected thing; a person. This guy, Lucas, was about the zaniest card you'll ever meet. Dressed up in a suit and tie, top hat and all, this guy's ploy was to make money by living out in some abandoned Apex lab, and to farm crops in order to sell them to the people of New Chicago. By himself. The guy couldn't even hammer a nail until I showed him how to do shit.

"In all my time around the universe, I've spent some time in the outdoors. Hunting or whatever with some random parties, spending the night in the forest or the plains, building some pretty basic furniture or structures, mostly hunting blinds and stools, but... What he wanted to do was /way/ the fuck more complicated. This guy had this vision of a whole town. A whole town."

*Ace takes a moment to sigh, and breathe for a bit. A bit of tapping is heard as he pokes around on his device, until he finally speaks again*

"... Well, we built... something. Took a /long/ ass time, but I built myself a kind of... shack thing, we made a farm, set up some stones as a kind of pathway... It was honestly pretty cool. And I was proud of myself. I'd uh... still pinch things, like some ore, or metal bars, gold pieces, pixels, whatever. And then I'd sell it, along with whatever fresh produce we had. And... That sorta worked. Booze sold especially well. I even made myself a sort of... backpack... thing, out of a poster. Rolled it up into this big-ass package, and shlepped it around. A while after that, I found a sack, and that worked... a lot better. I still kept the paper one for as long as it would last, though.

"... Time passed. I started hearing stuff about people called, 'Outcasts' on the radio. Terrorist group. I didn't really care, I'd never seen any. Just passed it off, and went about business as usual. And then... well, some punk-ass kid came and fucked everything up. He just... I dunno, sneaks into town. He starts messing with us, putting out torches, painting graffiti on our signs and houses and whatever, and just... Gah. I think he even stole shit from our farm. And so... I catch him. Eventually. Had to climb up onto buildings and throw things at him until I could actually get him. So he's on his ass in front of the old lab, and I've got him at gunpoint- uh... wait, I uh. Guess I forgot to mention I pinched a gun at one point? There was just this big crate of guns sitting in the ICIA HQ, and uh. The door was open. So. That happened, I guess. Fuck, where was I?

"So I have him at gunpoint, and I tell him to explain who he is, and what he's doing, and why he's doing it, and to give back the stuff he stole. And... If I remember correctly, he told me he was an outcast, and spat at me. Now uh. Keep in mind this kid's like... 19, if even. So, I uh. I told him I'd blow out his kneecap. And he still refused to cooperate. ... So I did.

"... After that, uh. I kinda dragged him inside and tied him down and stuff. Bandaged up his knee so he wouldn't bleed out... And called for help on the radio. I said I'd captured an outcast, and uh. Needed someone to pick him up. So after a while, this red-head chick that I'd talked to earlier shows up and offers to help and stuff... But... uh..."

*Ace takes a moment to clear his throat, and to try and regulate his breathing, which has slowly been increasing for a while now. He waits for around 15 seconds, and finally sighs once more before speaking again*

"... Sorry. Uh. I'd kinda gone off the deep end. I don't know if everyone in the frontier goes through some sort of shitty 'edgy' phase, or... if I'm just a special breed of stupid. But I wanted answers out of this kid, and I just... I was ready to carve them out of him. I was so pissed at him, for... for no fucking reason, even. He hadn't done much wrong, and I just..."

*Ace stops again, and scoffs. A bit of rustling is heard, as well as a few deep breaths*

"... The cops came and took him away. The red-head chick... I dunno, I don't think I saw her after that. Probably thought I was fucked up. I was. I never saw the kid after that, either. Little did I know at the time, but... The ICIA, the police there? A fuckin' front. Outcasts. I don't know how, or... what they did, but the whole government was just... Outcasts. And they probably killed him.

"... I was a little luckier though. I guess. That night, I decided I needed a drink. So I strapped up, and headed into town. And... on my way there, I met this guy. Shady son of a bitch, wearing like... a hasmat suit or something. Looked kinda like an ICIA uniform. And... He called out to me, and said he recognized my voice after I said something. And... He was all, "You're that guy from the radio that caught the outcast! You're like a hero or something!" Which... was total bullshit. I wasn't a hero. I was just some edgy freak that tied a kid to a table.

"... Whatever. So he offers to buy me a drink, after I tell him I'm heading to the bar. No big deal. He tells me to lead the way. No big deal. I take a walk down the stairs to head on towards the bar, and.... just..."

*Ace stops again, and takes another moment to breathe*

"... When I felt the bullet tearing through my knee, I just... My stomach dropped. I'd never felt such a moment of, 'Oh shit," since I saw the world end. I was gonna die. Right there, just fucking die. I stayed still, a crumpled body on the street. I didn't move a muscle. He would just kill me faster that way. I heard him walking down the stairs, and saw his boots in front of my face as he walked around. And then, just. One sentence.

" 'Don't fuck with the Outcasts.'

"... And then he promptly blew my other knee out. And then he left. And then it started raining. I have never in my life seen more of a a cinematic downfall than that. ... A couple of minutes later, one of the cops from earlier shows up, and he just... I think he said, "Oh shit." He knew what happened. He couldn't have another casualty, not publicly. Or maybe he just took pity on me. Either way, he came over, and scooped me up and walked me to the hospital. The silver lining of this experience was being carried in a rather tall and strong man's arms. That was fucking glorious."

*With that Ace gives a dry chuckle, and pauses for another moment.*

"... The doctors that fixed me up were less than competent. I recently got some X-Rays done of the damage in my knees, and the guy said he'd never seen such a poor joint replacement job before. His words were, 'It's like they just opened you up, scooped out what was left, and just slapped in some Plexiglas where your kneecaps used to be.' So yeah, that happened. Heh. Somebody actually tried to rob me in the hospital. The place was crappy, and only half-finished, the roof was a huge goddamn tarp that they put over the whole facility. Or at least most of it. He left after I explained to him that I literally had nothing on me besides some scrubs and bandages.

"It took me maybe... three days to get on my feet again, with some extensive physical therapy. And after that... well. I owed the hospital 35,000. For each kneecap. Possibly 10,000 for the surgery, I don't remember. God, it took me so long to make that up. I couldn't even run, but I had to dig up freakin' ore out of the ground and pawn it off to random people to make enough cash to do it. I think... I might have gotten a lucky break somewhere, somebody gave me a huge chunk of cash. But I did it. Quicker than I thought, too. And... as soon as I could, I got my ass off of NC.

"I had a bunch of crazy adventures I haven't even talked about yet. Like my experiences with Florans. I have a bunch. Like, the first time, one approached me in the hospital. The doctors didn't know what to do with the bits of meat and bone that used to be my kneecap, so they just kinda... gave it to me? Like, seriously, what the fuck? But... Yeah, a Floran walked up and asked if they could have it. So I gave it to them. And I'm pretty sure they ate it. So... yeah. Another time, I was helping a Floran get out of the city. That... Was a trip. The guy who robbed me set up some sort of stupid fucking toll road, where he mugged you if you tried to pass it, so uh. We sorta went around it. And at the end, the Floran threatened to eat me if I didn't give her... I dunno, ore. I tricked her out of giving her my best stuff, but... still kinda sucked. And a third time, I met a Floran informant, who uh. Got information. Out of people. I think. That was fun.

"... But uh. Other than Florans, my experiences with other people was kinda... mixed. I met a guy named Aubrey Flak, and... Well, to everyone else, he was kind of the biggest asshole in the sector. To everyone. Actually, he was an ass to me too. ... Why we became friends? I have no idea. But that gold-haired yellow-eyed asshat was my closest friend for a long time. We both got job offers on another planet, Taranis. It was primarily a glitch planet, but also home to a Floran tribe. Our mutual friend, Windows Omega, kinda... became the leader at some point. So we had to help her with that. But she offered us jobs, a place to stay, and food. And on top of that, a ride there. So we fucking bailed on NC.

"... I got a job as a Bartender. It was my first real job in a long time, years even. And also the start of my career. Ever since then, I've been bartending all over the place. And it all started in the stone basement of the Taranis Inn. The place was kind of a mixed bag, real rustic and medieval, equipped with a blacksmith's shop and a death pit on a floor beneath the bar for gladiatorial fights.

"... Aubrey and I had a strange relationship. He'd show up, I'd get him a grape soda, and he'd sit down and be an ass for a couple of hours, and then he'd go off on his way. He had a terrible habit of attracting trouble wherever he went, and was always getting into fights he couldn't win. I remember for a long time he started carrying around some kind of walking stick that had a taser on the end, just so he wouldn't get killed. That didn't go well. Eventually, he decided it was a good idea to join the local guard. It wasn't.

"Aubrey was a terrible guard, constantly abusing his power, and always pulling shit he shouldn't be. On top of that, he wasn't competent with a sword."

*Ace scoffs at that, and then continues*

"At least I can wield a fucking sword properly. Not much different than a big knife, and I sure as hell know how to use one of those. Kh. So long as it's a shortsword, I'm good."

*Ace pauses again to sigh, and stalls for about ten seconds*

"... Sorry. I've uh. Just been at this for a long time. ... Where was I. So uh. Fuck. One day, I just got fed up with his shit, and how he was treating other people. I know he had emotional problems, I knew he was trying to act big, but it just wasn't an excuse. I challenged him. And by Taranis law, I have the right to do so. So I did. Challenged him to a fucking fight. So he goes off to grab his gear, and I just... Walk down to the arena. I don't have any armor. I don't have anything. I've got my gun, my knife, and a grappling hook- a-

"... I uh. The kid, the one I kneecapped. He had a grappling hook for some reason. I carry it around, strapped to my leg. For... whatever. But that's not the point. Some... sympathizers? I dunno, probably bar patrons who were better off than I was came around to suit me up with some armor, and put a sword in my hand. It was a broadsword. Yeah. Well, I wasn't about to back out just because I wasn't properly equipped. So I stepped out onto the battlefield. Apparently the pit was just... filled with bones? Death pit full of bones. Kind of unsettling, but also useful.

"When the fight started, I just started to come at him. He didn't really know what to do, I guess, so he was taking some sort of defensive stance. I ducked down, grabbed a bone, and whipped it at his face. I think it mighta actually hit him, not sure. But he blocked the next few with his shield. He was pissed about it, but it opened me up for a clean hit to his gut. I used the blunt edge of the sword, so I never actually cut him. Just beat the fuck out of him.

"We sparred for a while, me parrying most of his hits until he caught me on the bridge of my nose. It bled like a motherfucker, and pissed me right the hell off. And so, eventually, I beat him down, banged on his shield until he lost it, and smacked him into the ground. I don't know why, but I kicked him. In the face, as I recall. He quit the guard after that, and kinda shied away from me. Not forever though. We made up a while later.

"... I haven't seen him in about a year. Don't know if he made it out of Antares. I guess I'll just keep waiting. After the shit with Aubrey died down... The Outcasts started to act up. Just... Little incidents here and there. Mugging here, gunning there, shooting wherever... It was a bunch of bullshit, but nothing serious. We got a few other bartenders at the Inn, one was a Floran... who I believe got jailed a while later for something, and the other was an Avian. He had white feathers, kinda like snow, kinda soft. He called himself Dirtfeather, shortened to Dirt. Why? Don't have a clue. But... I dunno. He was nice, kinda introverted, not real confident. Not a good job for a guy like him. But he did all right.

"... After a while, he started seeing a human. He opened up to me that he used to live in an orphanage as a kid, and... honestly got picked on for being gay. Apparently there aren't a lot of gay Avians on Avos or whatever. Abnormal, weird, whatever. He got tortured for it by the others. And so he left. ... And then he started seeing a guy."

*Ace takes a rather deep breath, and gives a disgruntled sigh*

"... Dany St.Ives. Fuckin' Danny St.Ives That... fucking asshat. I can't even say his name without getting pissed off... I don't know when it happened, or what it was, but he... He was the leader of the Outcasts. The goddamn leader. Keep in mind I had, and still have, a hefty fucking grudge against them, and a rather healthy fear at the time. So when I found out about it, I... I was kinda pissed. I'm not sure who told me, it... mighta been Dirt. I don't know. I helped the bird pick out a goddamn present for this guy. I helped them with their relationship. And... Then he just snares the bird in his whole crime organization. Just... strongarms him into doing shit he doesn't want to. Controlling, manipulative, I just... Dirt committed suicide eventually. And I fucking hated Danny for it. I cannot, and will never forgive the bastard. If I see his face again, I swear I..."

*At this point, Ace is breathing rather fast, and he stops himself in order to calm down. He waits for about 17 seconds before taking a deep breath and continuing*

"... When the outcasts made a full-on attack on the bar, that was the last straw. A group came down and opened fire on the bar. I shot over the counter and threw a rather hastily-concocted molotov at them to finally get them out. Not a good idea to throw fire in a wooden building, but the pub was made of stone. So I had that going for me. They cleared out, and... Honestly, so did I. Taranis had been running into the ground for a long time. I finally had enough saved up to buy myself a ship, and I flew over to some place called Gum. Yeah, I... don't know. Hylotl city. Decent bar. Decent people. Decent co-workers. But it..."

*Ace sighs, and another "fwump" is heard as he lays back down*

"... I left Antares. Just... Packed up and left. Went to another frontier, and bartendered there for a while. Few months. Same shit there too, just... sitting behind a bar, getting loud and pulling out my gun a few times to keep the troublemakers in check... Shot a guy... Nothing much. I hopped around a few times, and didn't head back until I heard that Antares got fucking wiped. Just... Obliterated. In the same way Earth was. So... I headed into Council Space, where apparently all the folks that survived ended up. ... And I guess I've been bartending here too. It's what I do now, really all I could do for the longest time.

"With my knees as fucked up as they were, I couldn't stand around for a long time, or run extensively, or climb ladders. I had to sit, mostly. I felt so fucking old. So bartending was really the only thing I could do."

*Ace pauses here, and takes a deep breath. A moment later, he lets it out with a sigh*

"... I think... It's almost time to wrap it up. I'll uh. Do more later. But... Really, now, just... I'd been bartending, obviously, at a place called Pinewood for a long time, where I uh. Met my girlfriend. Ayaka. She... Well, she's a Hylotl. We kind of met... in a weird way. Well, we first met in the bar, she came around and started uh. Playing guitar and stuff. And... I kinda liked her. And she offered to give me a guitar and teach me how to play and stuff, so... We... I dunno. She lived on a planet called Rust for like, five years which is just a big fucking scrap heap. I came around to her shop, and uh. A buddy of mine needed some copper. So we went out to get some, and she ended up getting hurt.

"Stabbed in the leg with a ree-bar. So... I took her back to pinewood where a guy, um. He goes by Doc. He's the one who looked at my knees. He took a look at her, patched her up, and... pretty much set us up. Told me she needed to stay with me for a fucking month to make sure she didn't get tetanus, or bronchitis from inhaling a fuckload of metal dust for five years.

"... She ended up getting tetanus. And bronchitis. And... We ended up getting together. We uh. Went down to the hotsprings west of town, kinda... stripped down, sat and talked for a while... And we kissed. So uh. We've... been running together ever since. I have a lot to say about that, but-"

*At this point, the sound of someone walking can be heard, presumably down stairs*

"... Oh. Huh, there she is now."

*The walking stops, and a lighter and rather happy voice, presumably Ayaka, speaks*

"Who're you talking to down here? I can just barely hear you talking upstairs."

*Ace chuckles a little, and some rustling is heard as he presumably sits up on the bed*

"I uh. I was making an audio log... journal. Thing."

*The light voice speaks again.* "Oh! Am I allowed in it? I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time in the hot tub with me?"

*Ace hums lightly a little before speaking again* "Sure, you're allowed in, but I was kinda wrapping up. It's getting kinda late, and yeah I... was thinking I might wanna spend a little time with you."

*The walking resumes, and some squeaking is heard as Ayaka leans down onto the bed. A moment later, the light smack of a kiss is heard, and Ayaka speaks again*

"Well, I'll be up in the tub waiting for you."

*With that, she is heard walking away. Ace says nothing for a long while until she can no longer be heard*

"... Well. My knees are fixed, I've got a job lined up, and I've got a beautiful lover waiting for me in a hot tub. I'd say things are pretty fuckin' good."

*Some more squeaking is heard as Ace presumably stands up*

"... That's it for now, I guess. I'm gonna go off and have a great night."

*Ace chuckles at that, and stalls a little, briefly*

"... Uh. Ace Jones... signing off. I guess. ... Fuck, that was stupi-"

*The audio file ends there.*

 

*The audio file starts with something that sounds like a, "Bye!" from a light and familiar voice, presumably Ayaka, and the close of a door. The faint sound of the ocean can be heard in the distance*

"... So uh. Things are going well. I've finally shipped out of Rodrick's house, and uh. I'm living in my new apartment... which is on top of my restaurant. That I now own." Ace chuckles a bit, and a bit of rustling is heard. "... So uh. Yeah. Apparently I run a restaurant now. That's a thing. I'm... not really sure how I feel about it? I mean, I'm super fucking grateful for it, but... uh. It's... not a bar. It's a restaurant. I mean, yeah. I can cook. I've cooked before, I can do it. But can I run a whole freaking restaurant? ... I don't know. I mean... Yeah, it's not a bar. There's not gonna be every dredge and scumbag from the whole sector shambling in and ordering a bottle of whiskey, threatening to shoot up the place with their rocket launchers if I don't give them their drinks. ... That was a fun day back on Rust. But uh."

Ace stops for a moment, and the sound of friction can be heard, as if he were rubbing his chin. "... I like running a bar. I do. I know I get all... I dunno. Pissed about it. That it's.... It gets to be too much at times. And... with my knees, yeah. It was way too much. Someone like me, a cripple like I was, it's hard to keep a place like that going. You gotta be on your game, ready to deputize yourself, and shoot straight. Need to be loud, and able to hold your own and shit, kick ass when the time comes. It's... It's a tough job at times. But I love it. I... I dunno. I like the atmosphere. I like the relationship I have with my patrons. I make... I make friends. Here... in the restaurant? The only people coming to see me /are/ my friends. The old ones, the few I have. I'm not making any new ones.

"... But at the same time, it's a lot safer to run a restaurant. It's food people are there for. Not booze. It's only the people who have the money, and willing to go out to find a meal. Not the poor sleep-deprived alcoholics who'd sell their freakin' boots to get a shot of whiskey. Either that or hold me at gunpoint to give 'em the leftovers from the near-empty bottles. ... I know I shouldn't be complaining. I know this is good for me... good for us, y'know? Aya doesn't have to worry about me coming home with a bullet wound one day. At least... not as much as she would. ... I've been thinking of renovating the place. Putting in a bar or whatever. Maybe something. I dunno. To run a place that just completely centers around food...

"... Look. Here's the thing. Pub food and restaurant grade food are two /completely/ different things. Sure. I can make a special, side, and whatever, and pass it off as, 'Oh, it's the food that comes with my beer.' But to make a freaking /meal/? ... That's a different thing. I can do it... sort of. But how many actual meals can I make? And how much /seafood/ can I make. I'm a turf guy. I work with steaks and pork chops. Poultry if I gotta. But seafood? I'm not a sea kind of guy. Which. Uh. Is ironic. In many ways." He takes a moment to stop and chuckle, and a bit of rustling is heard. "I uh. I suppose you could say my um. Taste for seafood is... pretty select. Heh."

A bit of fwumping is heard as, presumably, Ace's back hits the bed that he was presumably sitting on. "... I really guess I should talk about how I met Aya. I should at some point. I should talk about a lot of things. My time in Antares. There's a lot of shit I never even mentioned. My time uh. Well. Maybe not my time on Earth. Maybe a little. If I can, I'd... Kinda like to start over. After hitting Antares... Everything past me getting shot in the knees was probably the point where I started over. Er... uh. Getting shot in the knees. That was the point." He stops for a moment, and tries to collect his thoughts. He seems to be a bit lost. "... I've uh. Been getting better at playing the guitar. Like, a lot better. I've got a few songs down pat, most of which I just played over from my harmonica. I mean... I kinda learn stuff by ear. I can... sorta read sheet music if I gotta. But it's mostly by ear."

In the distance, the cries of sea birds can be heard as Ace stalls for a moment. "... I'm not really sure where to go with this one. Nothing... super major has been happening. I guess... Volare got a new girlfriend? Oh. Uh. Volare's this cool red bird uh. Avian. Guy. He was friends with this big brown bird guy, named Ziggy. He uh... I guess he got shot, a while ago. Which was kind of a bummer. Right through the lung, docs couldn't save him. But uh. Volare, he... He had a brother. And he was kind of a regular for a long time... possibly because he was homeless. But I haven't seen him around for a while, not sure where he went. Volare used to hang out with this chick named Devi... Kinda... thin, almost... wiry? Not sure if that's the right word, but she was black and white, kind of... almost like a penguin. A tall, angry penguin. And dear fucking god was she angry. Angriest bitch I ever met, up next to Firebird. Gotta hand it to those bird folk, they know how to just get down right mean. I mean. Not all of them. But some of them. Heh. Not that humans are any better. But uh. Back to the point.

"Volare was kind of friends with Devi in the same way that I was friends with Aubrey. He was a dick to everyone just because he could. And so was Devi. Although... they were a little different. Devi had this sort of complex that everyone was out to get her, and that her only real use for friends was the use she could get out of them. Not sure if she really thought that, but... That's what she said. And... Volare liked the girl, I... think they might'a... dated? I don't know? I saw him with another bird a while ago, not sure what happened to her. She was friends with Firebird... Jesus, so many birds. But... I dunno. I tried to be nice to her. I really did. But I yelled at her a bunch too, fought with her. Tried to teach her stuff she didn't wanna learn. It was no use, really. Just like with Aubrey. ... And uh. Eventually, just like Aubrey, she stopped showing up.

"... I dunno if Aubrey's just straight up dead, or if he's out being an ass somewhere else. Odds are, if Antares didn't kill him, and the tentacles didn't kill him, then he's either surviving on a thread somewhere else right now, or face down in a ditch somewhere with a knife in his back. Devi... Not sure what happened to her, but she's not around anymore. Bit the dust, and Volare was... really pretty upset about that. Seemed like at least. But... He does have a new lady friend. So that's looking up for him. He brought her in to the restaurant on a day I was prepping some recipes. Or uh. Figuring out if I can actually run the place. He called her 'Mooney,' so I'm not really sure if that's... her name, or just something he calls her. But they meshed nicely, and she's a nice color red, just like him.

"... I uh. Met a guy named Reed. He's a cyclops, just like Rod, but he's decked out with a metal jaw, and he looks... considerably older. He apparently was around in Antares, but... not when I was. Or where I was. He says he got there at the tail end of Taranis, and the Outcast regime. So uh. We could talk about a bunch of stuff that I can't really talk about with many other people..."

Ace stalls here for about five seconds. "... I've run out of things to say, I guess. Things... they're going well, like I said. We're not dying, we've uh. Got jobs lined up. I'm not doing anything... dangerous." Despite all these things, there's still a twinge of doubt in his voice. A listener would be waiting for the "but" in this sentence. Instead, Ace kind of laughs, and a bit of rustling is heard. "... I'll be fine, I guess. Once I'm doing something... productive... I'll feel better... Probably. Maybe... Maybe I just don't like change."

"... Ace Jones, signing off."

*The audio file ends here.*

 

*The audio file picks up on the sound of falling and pattering rain, and the soft hum of distant machinery. There's a small breath as Ace begins to speak.* "... It's been a while, ain't it." *There's a soft snort, and a short pause.* "... Things are a... bit different since th' last time I recorded anythin'. I ain't quite sure where t' start."

"... I moved outta Shinsei. I... I'm long gone. I thought, I jus'... I thought I could change things, thought it'd be different, yeah?"

"... Aya an' I took a vacation a while ago. A long while ago, headed out to th' fuckin'... Sorta more around the core. Place called Alpha Centauri. It was a lotta fun, an'... an' I really enjoyed myself. I think Aya did too."

"It was kinda weird not bein' allowed to carry around a gun, an'... just not /needing/ to. An'... The drinks there." *There's a bit of chuckling, and Ace lets out a bit of air.* "Fuckin' insane, lemme tell ya."

"I picked up one thing while I was there, probably the strongest goddamn drink in existence. I figure th' folks of the frontier'd appreciate that."

"... An' as fun as it was, when I came back, things... didn't change. Aya was still out all the damn time... Comin' in after I went to bed, leavin' before I got up. I tried runnin' the restaurant for as long as I fuckin' could, before... well."

"I turned the place into a bar. Heh. Yeah, figures. Ace Jones; The Bartender. You can take the boy outa the bar, but you can't take the bar outta the boy. I'm a goddamn sucker for those places."

"... An'... that didn't go out as well as I expected. First couple'a days; nothin'. Omega comes in every once an' a while, orders scotch on the rocks. We talk, he leaves. I get piss-drunk, and knock myself the fuck out."

"Not to mention it pissed off the locals havin' a bar. Goddamn Suzu, yellin' about how it'd bring in all those 'smelly space-faring hoolagins' or whatever the fuck she said. She ain't wrong, but hot damn, Shinsei could use some motherfucking traffic."

"... An' well. Right on cue, about seven, eight, Iunno, a whole crowd of motherfuckers show up outta the blue. I just... advertised, an' everyone showed up. Omega was there, of course, but... Gah. An' most of 'em were assholes too." *Ace sighs once more, and pauses for a moment as he collects his thoughts.*

"... An'... After that, jus' went quiet again. Omega still came over, still ordered scotch on the rocks. Nobody ordered food."

"Biggest problem t'me was drikin' my own merch. I always work on th' principle of not bein' drunk on the job, but... After hours? Pshhh. I toss whatever I can back, just 'cause. Why?" *... He stops here. He'd been building up momentum, but... It seems he's lost it.*

"... Ah. Why. Why even. Alcohol tastes like shit, I know. I ain't a fan. I drink things 'cause they got good taste. Call me what you want, but pisswater ain't my beverage of choice."

"It's like those assholes that drink coffee. Why. It can't possibly taste good."

"... Why, though." *Ace lets out some air here, and takes a moment to think.* "... My dad wasn't around much as a kid. An'... I said it before, he left. Like... Pretty damn early. But from what I remember, he did have a drinkin' problem." *He stops here again. Where's he going? Has he lost his train of thought?*

"... An' I guess I do too now. I know I do, hell. Around the end'a my shift, I'd start gettin' skull-splittin' headaches. I knew I needed a drink, and I almost wanted just t'kick out whoever was sittin' there just to toss back somethin' to calm down."

"Been gettin' more and more irritable, I can be a real asshole a lot of the damn time. An' it's hard not to when your skull feels like it's fuckin' cavein' in on itself."

"... An' so. With Aya gone, an' nothin' to do, it..." *Another pause. Ace really didn't prepare this.* "... All this time, it's... I've been livin' just to survive, yeah? Doin' what I can t'keep chuggin' along. An' it made sense. I... I dunno. Around the time I started wearin' the cover, it... just got easier t'not care about stuff. T'just put stuff behind me, forget about it. It... Iunno. Stonefaced mask or some shit. Somethin' poetic."

"But... After Aya? Fuck, it was easy to take off the mask. T'let myself go. To be free, y'know, just... It felt good to care about something. Actually /care/ about something. Like, dear Christ, ain't nothin' I cared 'bout more in this damn universe'n her."

"... An'... Then she just left. I mean... she was still around, I guess. Not that I could tell. An'... I think that's jus' what broke me, really. Heh. Finally found somethin' to care about, yeah? Finally found a person I could open up to. Completely. Fully. Someone I felt /comfortable/ with, someone I wanted t' take my cover off around."

"An' when she left... Well. It fuckin' crushed me. Swear t' Christ, it was like losin' my family all over again. Might'a been harder, even. It was hard t'find a reason to jus' keep goin'. Hard to see what the point in... anythin' was."

"I jus' stopped goin' out into town. Stopped... talkin' to anyone. Hadn't seen nobody since I went out on vacation, hell. I stopped talkin' people way the fuck before the vacation. We took the vacation jus' /because/ 'a this. Because she wasn't around, because I was drinkin' myself to death. Did she think goin' out like that'd save th' relationship, if she was jus' gonna do the same shit when we got back?"

"I understand that she's makin' a good paycheck, workin' her ass off, I'm not sayin' she wasn't workin'. I'm not sayin' she was a bad person for tryin' to make a livin', for doin' what she wants with her life. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's my fault f'bein' needy. Iunno."

"... I felt bad when I left. I felt bad I couldn't say it to her face. Honestly, I didn't know when she'd show up again. I wasn't sure I even wanted t'see her anymore. I jus'... left a note. An' left home."

"... There apparently was some fuckin' crisis a sector over, somethin' called the Spur. Whatever happened, they ended up fleein' here; everyone, jus' like with Antares. They set up a lil' camp here, an'... I dunno. They built it up for a bit, an' then opened it up to the public. I've been here since then, helpin' out with whatever."

"After a few days, I pitched my tent and pretty much secured my position as head cook. Goodman, this big ol' lumberjack-lookin' motherfucker, was the cook before me. An'... As nice of a guy as he is, he ain't always around. And he ain't always got the best of ideas."

"... So. I cook dinner now. Every night. Every mornin' I go out, lookin' for whatever wild shit I can get, carrots, potatoes, onions, chives... it's gettin' harder to find goddamn /anything/ out here. And the shit I do find... Well. It's wild. The carrots are tough, all stringy and shit, the onions are small... The potatoes too. It's hard t'make anything substantial, and all I've been cookin' recently's just stew."

"... Within a week of livin' here, I've already buried two bodies, and gotten one chick shot. I ain't too thrilled about it."

"... Why do I bury the bodies? Fuck. Well. firstly, I was there when this one asshole... who was apparently appointed as a fuckin' guard for some shit reason, decided to test fire his assault rifle after gettin' it wet."

"How's he do it? Does he fire one goddamn shot at one fuckin' close-range target like a normal goddamn person? Fuckin' no, he slings that fucker over the side of the balcony, and fires an /entire/ /goddamn/ /clip/ out into the woods. At random."

"An' when I ask him what the fuck I'm doing- ah, fuck, what /he's/ doing, he just tells me, 'Oh, I needed to see if my gun worked, my nigga.' Goddamn asshole."

"Sure enough, a guard walks up t'him an' asks him what the shootin' was about, 'cause he's wavin' the goddamn rifle around like it's a toy, an' she ends up headbuttin' him for it. Because he was a fucknut. Reasonable, right?"

"Yeah, an' so the reasonable response to that's just firin' away at her legs, right? Fuckin'..." *He stops here, presumably to shake his head.* "... Needless t'say fuckin' gunfight ensued, an' they ended up cappin 'him in the face."

"... I asked if there was any way I could help, an'... Well. They asked me to bury the body. So I did."

*Briefly, someone can be heard shrieking in the background. Ace would pause to see what they say.* "I dunno th' fuck y'want from me bush-tailed shit, but y'ain't gett'n any of my shit, /CALZONE/?!"

*... It takes Ace a moment, but he just ends up not commenting on it.*

"... Fuckin' next body was some floran. Iunno why they got shot, but. Whatever. Someone cut the goddamn head off... /after/ they killed it. Don't know why, but I buried what was left. I guess it's my job now."

"... I ended up gettin' some random chick shot on accident when they tried t' execute the Floran. I freaked out, I... Fuck, I dunno. Tried pullin' back on the Glitch's shoulder... It... was a bad idea. Buckshot to the chest. That was fun to deal with."

"Didn't even have time t'feel bad about it. Had t' try to save her damn life." *He stops here to just breathe for a bit, thinking.* "... Y'know I... I've felt bad b'fore about the people I might'a hurt... Or the people I might'a gotten killed... But really, lately, it's just hard t'bother with it. I mean... Hell. They're dead now. The end. Ain't much t'do now, is there."

"... Keh. Basically, I jus'... This is like a big ol' campin' trip for me. Really. I sleep in a tent... With some hylotl chick who just showed up, name's Buke. Dunno what she wants, really, but... guess she's a guard now. Showed up yesterday. Not sure about how I feel with sharin' a tent."

"... Fuck, I ain't sure where else to take this. I'm single now. I'm outta home, doin' somethin' with myself, an' I ain't fuckin' depressed. Things are better, I guess. But god damn, does it get lonely sometimes. I figure it'll get better with time or some shit."

*A bit of a commotion might be able to be heard /very/ faintly from across the camp. Ace stops just a bit in order to listen.*

"... I think I'm just gonna head out to Mud. Some fuckin'... backwater Avian colony where they don't let guns'n swords'n knives in, an' they defend the place with goddamn sticks. No power, either. But they have a bar, an' that's what counts."

*The commotion wouldn't be getting any quieter, and Ace gives one last small chuckle before continuing.*

"... Ace Jones, signing off."