Should have done this long ago, honestly. I never expected Smokestack to get very far as a character. Anyways, if you met Smokestack IC please post and critique me on how you feel about him as a character. If you don't know him, I'll bold the important parts. Back story: He's an Avian from a planet that was a safe haven for Grounded sky pirates and Human Space pirates. He was a tiny bird that was taken in onto the planet after being exiled with his parents onto his parents. His parents died years later and he was orphaned and taken in to work in for child labor in a death race repair shop. The planet was known for it's death racing gambling ring. Smoke gets taken in as a pit crew member after showing exemplary work by an unknown man, man really likes him, gives him old ship called the rustbucket after he dies. At 17, Smoke repairs the ship, uses it for death racing, repairs his smoking ship on the fly throughout his racing career, and gains the name Smokestack. At 20, he gets tired of the races and tries to leave leading on a 7 year manhunt. Personality: He speaks in short, eloquent words. He cuts nouns as often as possible. After being alone for 7 years running from his employer and rivals, he enjoys talking with people. He's not easily angered and has no grasp of how relations work. He has a deep fondness for female Avians. He suffers from a cough and was stained by oil and powdered by soot. As of now, he has to wear a full body suit and respirator because he has a weakened immune system and contaminated lungs. He's strong in ship weaponry and general ship repair. All of which learned from experience rather than research meaning he's handy but not good at demonstrations or explaining with words. He's physically weaker than most soldiers, and slow when it comes to things outside his realm of ships. He has a soft spot for women and those in trouble. Anyways, sorry for the long post, hope to hear how I can make my character better
Dead parents is cliche, death racing is... a bit strange. I have no idea why he would cut nouns from his sentences. I could understand cutting adjectives, which would turn: "There was a big red dog" into: "There was a dog" But cutting nouns would turn it into: "There was a big red" Other than that, seems like a fine character to me. Everyone uses cliches from time to time, that's why they're so popular.
The dead parents happened because they were exiles being brought into a lawless land. They weren't fighters and just died in crossfires. The cutting nouns part is a bit different. I meant that when he says something like: I have a problem for you. It's pretty important. My ship is suffering from major damages. I don't think it can survive very long. It would actually be: Have a problem for you. Very important. Ship's suffering damages. Don't think it'll survive. I should explained better that he talks by just keeping sentences short. And hell yeah death racing.
Ahem, anyways idk he seems cool. I have interacted with him a bit with Gillian but overall dont have much to say besides its a cool concept and he seems pretty fun.
I like Tokestack. He should smoke weed against his cancer. It's natural! TBH, char concept is a bit corny, but so is mine, so I am in no position to criticize yours
