ScarletSongbird

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

I’m not trying to sound racist but I’ve always preferred the 100 meter dash over the 200 meter dash.

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit...

Totally mad, utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.

Astronauts are inherently insane. And really noble.

communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it

Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.

In an infinite Universe anything can happen. Even survival. Strange but true.

To insult someone we call him 'bestial.' For deliberate cruelty and nature, 'human' might be the greater insult. -- Isaac Asimov

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

I attack everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it's often difficult to tell which is which.

Broke my hard drive! Whoo...

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Uuuuuur aaaaarrrr aaaarrggggghhh uuuuuurh --Chewbacca

Remember! October is Shame awareness month! It's still a terminal disease in some parts of the universe!

The future belongs to those who prepare for it today. -Malcolm X

An untalented gymnast walks into a bar.

Kilroy was here.