((A large binder of various notes and scribbles. Can be found on the Clear Skies)) Note on Restocking the bar ((Hastily scribbled)) Bottle-Pattern Gin, Whiskey, Liquier, Vodka, Wine Monthly Balance Month 1 - 1,500 profit / 659 spent ((841 pixels total Month 2 - 1200 profit / 1259 spent ((782)) Month 3 - 1,500 profit / 561 spent ((1721)) Month 4 - 0 profit / 457 spent ((1264)) Settlement List ((Based on IC knowledge)) Wolf’s Den Alpha Malkut 0, -111 I Liberty Mills 85, -143 Gamma Arrakis Majoris III Tanaris 28, 11 alpha Lyncis Majoris IV a Julius's Settlement 1 -3 Gamma Omega Cas II Mashfist settlement -318, 532 Alpha Gamma Mon Majoris II Tetanus Fields 30867342, 875107 Beta Oswin 5395 VI Maple Hill 1190, -556 Beta Eps Ari Minoris I b Rusty Tavern 76, 79 Alpha Erneck 447, IV b Onatsuta -262, -306 Alpha Quadraz Majoris I a Union 2 -2 Gamma Marsin Majoris II Drosera Tribe Gamma -1 3 IV a Yaggis Village Delta -2 -765 I d Beacon 27, 4 Delta HR 2447 CMa 9165 I a Velocity Alpha Orabelli I a 20, -23
Personal Notes 1 Can a plant feel true love? I asked myself that every morning, when I woke up beside my feathery companion, questioning if this is really happening. Am I doing this out of love? Or is this just spitefulness towards closed minded people? It could be, but at least, every time I hold my little blackbird in my arms, I know for sure, that there's no were else I want to be; no one else I want to be with. Maybe this is just lust, but I don't give a damn. As long as Diana's happy, and that's all I can ask for Signed, Black Wither-Rose.
Personal Notes 2 False memory syndrome, they call it. How can they call something that felt so real just an imagination. Yet different people tell me different things. What am I to believe? What exactly is real and not? I'll never know I suppose. The sweet lavender taste. The Dreams. Is this guilt? Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 3 Play the fool, and people shall perceive you as a fool. Pretend to be well, and people will think that everything is alright. If that's what it takes, then I shall commit to the darkest confines of my mind, and suppress these false emotions. ...We make our choices, and take what comes. And sooner or later, in ways we can't always fandom, the consequences come back to us. All those work; all those death. It use to be easy. They were all corrupt and rotten to the core. 50 years of the same old, with the blood of scholars, pedophiles, of guardsmen, of unfaithful lovers, of politicians who were far too just for their own good. Should she have been different? Why should I feel the entire weight of a dying city crushing down on my back? She was different. That much is certain. She was, for all intents and purposes, my other half. Yet I allowed the death of the one person who once mattered to be, simply because I was following orders. Did I kill Diana out of jealousy? Or to hide away the secrets of our relationship, because I was scared of the implications. That I fell in love with an Avian, of all things. I look at her daughter; the one person I saved that faithful night. Firehawk, she calls herself. I never bothered telling her the real name, if only to distance myself from the guilt of killing one's lover. Yet she looks so much like her mother. It takes a strong man to deny what's right in front of him. And if the truth is undeniable, you create your own. The truth, is that I'm here because I wanted to feel like something that I'm not: A hero. I can't accept what I've done. It broke me. I wanted someone to blame, so I cast it on a dead man. I know the truth is hard to hear Hawk, but it's time. You're all that's left and I can't live this lie forever. An eye for an eye, Firehawk, an eye for an eye. You must think that I'm a monster...that I've gone insane. I came to terms with what I am a long time ago Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 4 ...I have stood knee deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with deadly gases. I have seen two brothers kill one another over idealism and religion. I I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into believing a single faith. I have seen a child's shadow burnt into the brickwork by a nuclear blast. A house of skulls in the jungle, made by the savages I am forced to call kin. The innocent, the innocent, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. Yet these men. These men and women with power and their so called plans. What have they wrought if not pain, suffering, misery and death. This is the reality that you so live in. This is the one thing I am trying to protect you from, Hawk. If you are reading this, Hawk...know I do everything in my power to protect you. Even if it has to be from myself. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 5 Your mother, Firehawk, was a unique woman. Idealistic, naive, foolish, yet kind, like you. We were a forbidden pairing, make no mistake, but I loved her all the more. Diana was a person out of this time; a kind, and caring woman who believed in equality. Diana Viracross, was a strong woman, brave, and noble in both title, and action. I loved her, even as she married your father, Martin Saren, out of a need. The truth was, Firehawk, that your father was an arrogant man, who put politics and wealth above his own wife and daughter. Which was why I visited your mother in secret, like a nightingale who came every night, only to leave the next morning. ...I'm glad that you are quite like your mother, if only because the world needs more people who wants change. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 6 To an earlier question. Was it love? Was my relationship with Diana out of love, or lust? What was she to me? What was my purpose sneaking into that depressing stone keep every night? The truth was, I loved her. I truly loved her. With every fiber of my being, I loved her. Yet I stood and watched. I stood, and watched Gingi do that horrible deed. I am a failure, who couldn't protect my love from the one thing that she believed in; her damned religion. I make no excuses for standing there and watching helplessly. All I ask, is for forgiveness Firehawk. Blac Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 7 An eye for an eye. Thats what I promised and thats what I have done. It hurts actually, quite a lot, even with the amount of whiskey in my veins. Fair's fair though. I wonder if Firehawk will eat it. Ow, it hurts to laugh...or do anything. That human girl, Lenja. She's a good doctor. Helped me fix up the damage I did to myself over drunken guilt... Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 8 Whoever keeps reading the ramblings of this mad-weed has a morbid curiosity. Firehawk, if you are reading this, I won't mind, but take it with a grain of salt. I made a promise to protect you. From all of the worst of the universe. I beg of you to stop your dealings with the fleet. Do not go down the same path that your father went. Do not endanger yourself making deals with the devil. Please. Don't do this, Akilias "Firehawk" Saren Black Wither-Rose
Personal Notes 9 I think I've payed for my mistakes in full. I hope I have. Diana, if you're out there, I hope I did right by you. I sincerely hope so. Taking care of your child isn't easy, you know. She's got a head of fire, and nothing can stop her from making her own decisions. Just like you, Give me a sign, ok? Give me something to show I'm not messing up. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 10 Should I seek help? If I seek help, will it work? I'm a washed up relic who's taking care of the very thing of my jealousy, and of my guilt. Damn you Diana, I never asked for this. I don't want your child, I don't want the future YOU had planned for us. I would give away anything for you to be here, instead of me. How the hell do I care for her anyways? I no nothing about guiding a young mind from right or wrong. All I know, is to take a life; all I've been doing is protecting her by taking lives. That's all I'm capable of doing. Thats all I know. Give me a sign, any sign Black Wither-Rose *Add. Note* I swear, whoever is reading these notes better stop it.
Personal Note 11 What was my relationship with Diana? That is a story that’s similar to a Floran’s tongue. Long, messy, you don’t want to get too close to it. Still, its necessary to write it down, less I forget; less I make the same mistakes of my youth. I met her long ago, in this place, similar to Taranis. It was work related, initially; just another job I told myself. Well, needless to say, I was badly injured, and close to kicking the bucket when Dniana appeared. Like some wingless angel, she saved me from bleeding out on the cold, stone floors. We became fast friends thst day. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 12 I asked myself, to this day, why /did/ she save my life? Especially since she mistrusted Florans. She told me that herself as she treated my various wounds. The best answerI ever got was “because, someone else would of done it wrong”. Diana, was one cocky bastard she was. Still, it was a limited assistance I had gotten, as she was no doctor; at least, not someone with much knowledge of Floran biology. Thinking back now, I believe it was a morbid curiosity that saved me that day. Along with the most stunning purple eyes, and shapely body. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 13 I’ve told you, Diana was a cocky Avian, correct? How I know this, was because she challenged me to a duel, as I healed up. She wanted to test her skills, called it a payment for the debt of saving my life. What other choice would I have made but agree. What comes next would have been a surprise. I won, using what people would call dirty fighting. Specifically, I distracted her with a kiss on the beak, which shocked her enough to allow me to both disarm her, and hold a blade to her neck. Needless to say, I dtole victory, and her first kiss. Remember how I said that every action a person makes could have untold consequences? That day and night would come to be a ‘unique’ lesson. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 14 Every action had consequences, but at the time, I didn’t give a damn. Every morning, as I awoke to the matte black, drooling fluff ball that was Diana, I was happy. Though it was rough, though we had to keep our love a secret, I wouldn’t of traded it for the world. In fact, I’d have given anything, just so I could be with her. To have her here now, with me, and her child. It’s tough, dealing with this alone. I never thought this cold, ruthless heart could faal regret, remorse, and most of all, loneliness. It’s quite cold, maybe it has to do with the cyanide and meatwine mixture. Do Florans and Avians go to the same heaven. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 15 I don’t know, if Lenja’s a blessing, or a curse. On one hand, I’m alive, albeit uncomfortably so, being that she has strapped me to the bed. On the other hand, she tells me that she plans to keep me like this for quite a bit, while she runs a few tests. Well, what can I do? Firehawk seems to like keeping this old relic around, despite the fact I’m hindered by the past, and the failures in my past. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 16 You know what stings? Besides the gag, the medical restraints, and the IV needle. The fact that I can’t protect Firehawk from herself; from her feathery religion. Just like her mother, I suppose, open to self-inflicted wounds in the name of some man who elevated himself to a deity because of some asinine god complex. But what can I do? No matter what I do, I can never convince them otherwise. I know of a way, but then I’ll have to break a silent vow I made to Diana. A vow that I would never tell anyone what these ‘stargazers’ did to her; what they made her do to herself. How they made her forever silence herself from these ‘heretic’ words. Not that Diana could say anything about it. Hot knives have a way about that. Black Wither-Rose
Personal Note 17 I was a weakling. I was a weakling who just let her go; allowed her to willingly go and accept punishment for something that was /my/ fault. I was the temptress; the devil who made the maiden eat the forbidden fruit. Why did they hurt her and not me? Why did she subject her to so much pain and suffering? Why wasn’t I stronger? Why did I let her marry that cruel zealot in the first place?!? Black Wither-Rose
