Feel free to post some jokes here, any that you know. Real ones, too; don't just respond with "hurr dis thread look how funni i am" because that's just boring. Here's one I heard once from a human comedian. 5 Glitch walk into a bar. While walking in, each comment on a brutal beating a Floran is delivering to an Apex, for some unknown reason. Each one says as follows: Disastrous. What an awful sight. Irritated. This takes going apeshit to a whole new level. Cautious. I do not wish to be involved. Knowing. It is best not to interfere. Sagacious. I'd much rather not get involved. The Floran stopped their beatdown, and the Apex looked at them puzzling. The Floran was laughing, and the Apex didn't understand why they would just stop and laugh. "Why are you laughing?" Said the Apex. The Floran eventually looked the Apex in the eyes and said: "They ssspelled dicksss!" I forgot to mention that the comedian who said this joke was sorta booed off stage and pelted with tomatoes to the point where he probably has a crippling phobia of them now. So post them here! - Vector
A Floran walks into the bar. later on, he crawls out covered in blood with 24% of his body missing, he then chokes to death on his on blood. I was just picturing this image in my head and thought it was rather hilarious. happy to share. - IronTide
That... sounds like something that happened to me. Except for the choking to death. Was choking, but just for little while. - Crowliss
((JR, Speech-to-Text protocol)) Yeaaah. Hey, you hear the one about how the slaver was allowed to sell slaves in public without a problem because he labelled his prisoners as food instead of slaves? ... That's right. I didn't find it funny either.
[audio file upload] [playback: y/n?] Floran know old one, find funny becausse could be true. Two floranss is hunting in jungle, looking find animalss or otherss eat. All of ssudden one of them freeze and fall over, not moving. Hiss partner take radio and call village shaman and ssay "Partner jusst fall over, think iss dead!" The shaman reply sssaying "Can help, but firssst make ssure is dead" After few moments shaman head much ssstabbing and gruntss. Hunter come back and ssay "What next?" *faint laughing as the recording is stopped* [audio file end] `Petaldancer
So, a hylotl is about to get stabbed by a floran. The hylotl says: "Hey man, can't we just settle this with peace!?" The floran then says: "...Hm. Yesss, fissshie isss good thinker. Will cut into piecesss inssssteadsss." -CuteFishie, Omizu Suiyoubi
A man is walking by a room and he hears his son praying... ...and he decides to poke his head in the door to see what he is saying. "Dear God, I love Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa." The father thought this was strange, but didn't pay much mind to it, as his young son was just expressing his feelings. The next day the man comes home from work to find out that the Grandpa had died earlier that day of a surprise heart attack. The day after the funeral the man is going to bed when he hears his son praying again. He decides to listen in again, afraid he might be traumatized by the death. "Dear God, I love Mommy and Daddy. Bye bye Grandma." This time he was more than a little freaked out by this, but still didn't take too much notice to the apparent coincidence. But then... The next day the father returns home from work to find out the Grandma died that day from a surprise heart attack. The father was starting to worry about his son at this point. He listened in every night to see if he prayed but he didn't... at least not until the day after the funeral. The father did his usual check on his son, when he heard him distinctly praying again. He slowly poked his head through the door to listen. "Dear God, I love Mommy. Bye bye Daddy." Of course, the father was more than worried about this, he was downright paranoid. The next day at work, he was avoiding anything that could potentially harm him. He hid under his desk, and kept a phone nearby in case something happened. After the longest day of his life, he safely returned home to discover several police cars around his house blaring lights and putting up caution tape everywhere. He wanders up to the door, confused, when his wife leaps into his arms, and starts crying. He asked what happened, and she says: "Oh the most terrible thing happened today! The mailman died of a terrible heart attack right on our doorstep!" - Konrad
