ENTRY 51 22 Nov 2416 The 'Malevolence' ENTRY BEGIN: Quick update. Back in Council Space, been looking for something to do on a colony called Fernbrook or something. Met up with Ziggy, and I'm staying with him until I can settle a deal for a real place to live; an apartment or rented house or something of the sort. Not sure what exactly I'll be doing now that I'm back, but I'm gonna try and start making connections with some old friends. Blaze, Joshua (although I wouldn't exactly call him a friend), Ernal, and a few others if they're still around. Not much in terms of work around here, but I managed to get a position in the Indigenous Guard as a dual-rotorary aircraft pilot, so at least my skills are at use again. I'll be heading to their training camp soon and, while I fucking hate it that I gotta go do some bitch-fucking-cock-sucking FUCK FUCK FUCK basic training camp for a month AGAIN, I'll just get it over with and get that job. It's Council funded so it's gotta have some backing to it, right? Maybe healthcare or some shit. Plus, it's free food and shelter for a month planetside, so that's a positive. I can show all these new boys and girls how shit is really done. I might try setting up a little cabin and getting a garden started. The IG only gives me an 'allowance' of 1500 credits a month, so I'll need to find a second source of income, and maybe selling some crops might be a good plan. I got a little experience with that sorta thing on Rigari and I imagine it couldn't be too difficult to make a little bit of side cash selling some cash crops to these restaurants and that festival on Fernbrook. Anyway, I'm on Zig's ship, parked on some rando-planet out here in the fringe and my eyes are getting heavy, so I'm gonna get some sleep. Until tomorrow. - Sarah McKinley
ENTRY 52 7 Feb 2417 The 'Ladybird' ENTRY BEGIN: I met someone. Name's Jack. We're dating. I hope it works out. I really do. I just don't trust this shit anymore. I'm tired of being hurt, of losing people. Of losing, in general. Michael. Dad, Mom. I hope you're looking down at me and giving me strength. Not just for this relationship but... For everything. From Katune to Dexter's Garden, to the Mawl and to Terra. Olympus, Mud, and Upside, and now Fernbrook. I've roamed for years out in the fringes of space. I've killed a lot of people. Hurt a lot more. I've been hurt. Both my body, and my pride. How much longer can I receive this punishment? How much longer can I keep this pain wallowing up inside of me? Sometimes I imagine you guys are talking back to me. Saying things. I regret so much. Sometimes I'd get so angry at you Michael, over the stupidest shit. I'd yell, or even hit you, but it was nothing compared to the shit I put my parents through, from kid to adult. Staying out late until you called the cops; forcing me to do my work. Smoking behind your back. Getting picked up by the police. The yelling and the fights. I'm so sorry for what I did. I dunno how you guys managed to deal with me. But somehow I've kept it together, huh? I turn thirty five in a month and a half. I've survived almost a complete decade after Earth collapsed. I've cracked, but never broken. I've faltered, but never fallen. Maybe I have you all to thank for that. I wouldn't say help from beyond the grave but... You instilled in me something that's kept me going. Pushing. Harder and harder, every single day. I'm far from perfect, but I'm strong. And I have you all to thank for that. Here's hoping Jack can put up with it, too. - Sarah McKinley
ENTRY 53 14 March 2417 The 'Ladybird' ENTRY BEGIN: I have no idea what to do. I'm running these trade routes every so often, but I can't do it much longer. I feel like I'm going to blow a gasket just sitting there and waiting. Waiting, and waiting. Double checking to see if some baddies come my way, but why would they, y'know? The cargo I run is practically worthless in the eyes of any big trade tippers, and I'd swat any small timers with as much as a flick on the weapons dashboard. A job came up recently. Some sort of protection racket, maybe? Some people in need of help, from what I could see. Involves guns and whatnot. I'm worried I can't be trusted with them anymore after what happened on Refract Valley. Shot a civilian in the hopes of killing a Floran, because I was scared? I'm never that thoughtless. I always think before I act, but something is changing. I'm less focused, less calm and collected. Not that I ever have been, really, but I'm losing my edge. Why? I'm not THAT old. Is the fighting finally hitting me? Am I losing it? I need to find a new job. Something that'll keep me focused. Keep my mind off that sorta stuff. Something permanent. I'll keep looking. - Sarah
