((Prequel)) McKenzie's recording logs.

((The following are a collection of logs to be found within McKenzie Wayne's PDA. Not secured with a password of any kind, however still largely corrupted, they detail experiences within Orion's Spur prior to the evacuation to the Council Space. Thus be aware, this thread forms somewhat of a prequel to the events detailed in the other thread, simply named "McKenzie's recording logs."))

'Eyup all. Decided to start making these logs. That's what happens when you're the barman of this shit hole and no one comes 'round.

Been makin' those adverts on the radio, hopefully it'll be a change from all the whiny fucking birds, plants and other tossers, havin' rage wanks on each other's beliefs and shit.

Dick 'eads mate.

A lot of shit's gone down lately. Gonna have to keep backtrack and take account of all that bollocks so if any twats are listening to this, you can 'old your bloody horses ya mad 'eads.

 

Fuck it. Can't be arsed. Anyway! Down to biz an' shit. Day... One. Yeah.

OK, day one like, is the day I arrived 'ere in Pinewood. Quaint... Normal place. Big bar an' shit... An' that's pretty much all I concern myself with. On this day I actually got- oh wait, no, no, no. What 'appened?

*A pause of around 3 seconds*

Oh shit yeah! On that day I met Rolan'! In the main pub bit, that's usually where most people go 'round. Now I guess its probs best to give a review of the lad, jus' in case 'e like... Snakes me out or summat. OK! So Rolan's one of those fish lads yeah? 3 eyes uh... Blue. Eyes are red by the way. Around... Well... Few inches smaller than me. 5 foot odd I'd say. Other than that... Whiney li'l cunt. *He lets out a chuckle* Nah, nah, nah. 'E's a sound lad like. Good mate. More of a taker than a giver like, considerin' I'm keep in' the fucker afloat wi' alcky yet 'e ain't no closer to payin' me back. But nah... 'E's probably the soundest lad as of right now, I doubt 'e'll snake me out like. But if I do end up like... Lashed to a cross or some shit, might wanna give 'im a look over like eh?

Anyway I'm digressin' like fuck! Then again... Nowt much 'appened that day. I went 'one a wee bit early, considerin' I'm such a responsible lad. But it turns out, the sneaky bastard Rolan' took this chance to worm 'is way in to a job! In the pub that is. Got in good with some lass - owner of the pub apparently- managed to convince 'er wasn't actually a nonce. Which makes me question 'er ability to gauge people truth be told. Now surprisingly enough lads, I don't really give that much of a shit about Rolan's work life... 'Owever /this/ is what allowed me to secure myself 'ere. Get a wee bit of income like... But me phone's runnin' out of battery like so... To be continued yeah?

 

OK we're back! This is the... Third one. Of the logs. Don't know if someone's 'aving a bloody laugh or summat but the other collection of logs've gone walkies. So uh... Yeah. Dealin' wi' that currently /but/ that's like present, I'm doin' the past right now eh?

Talkin' of the past! I left off where Rolan' got a job yeah? See... This is significant because it allowed /me/ to actually get a job instead. Y'see 'e was on like a trial or some shit an'... Well fuckin' failed it or some shit. So then I; Macca Wayne swoops in, an' suddenly ol' what's-'er-name is fuckin' /slatherin'/, charisma was too much for 'er. As it is many. I get 'round back into kitchen, do the dishes like as some sort of mock trial you know... Keep up appearances an' the like. No one likes to admit judgement's been swayed by looks. So I obviously do the dishes, an' in an' 'eartbeat, shock an' awe! I 'ave the job. Officially got the keys a few days later an' now I work the bar fully, even without supervision. You can't see me Jazz 'Ands but they're there.

So yeah! That's day two in a pretty li'l bow! At least... I think that it was day two? Fuck it, the actual time scale don't really matter /all/ that much, long as I get the proper story down eh? 'Sides, this shit is jus' like... Well borin' to what comes up soon.

*He pauses for a few seconds, tapping on a surface can be heard*

Now the question is... Do I branch over multiple days in a single log... Go on then. To be honest I'd rather get this re-cap shit out of the way an' done.

So day... Day... Well I'm gonna call it 3 even though it probs wasn't 3, anyway, it's the next day I can be bothered to take down. Y'see on this day, I'm off shift, chill in' in the bar on Piney yeah? An'... Summat 'appens... Uh...

*Another pause of a few seconds*

Oh yeah! This is 'ow I actually came to show the full volume of my bollocks see. 'Ow I actually turned up on "The Wreck," pretty shit name I know but that's beside the point! So I'm in Piney pub yeah? An' me lad Silk - I say lad, but uh... The observation is becomin' more an' more unstabled as time goes on like - is talkin' to this other guy. A lad named... Leon... Yeah, Leon.

So long story short, Leon talks 'bout this new spot, a spot for salvage an' shit. Now... I'm not as crater by any means, but this wee lad goes on 'bout as if it's like... That golden place. El Dorito or summat. So I'm like fuckin' 'ell go on then! Plus 'e 'as this brother called Gonz, apparently Ex-Army or summat. I dunno. Top an' bottom of it is, he was built like a brick shit'ouse to be fair. Also a top bloke last time we spoke. Can't remember where 'e got off too actually... I'll 'ave to 'ave a li'l browse for 'im later.

So anyway yeah! I'm there like "Holy shit boys! Where gonna be fuckin' rich! Antiques left behind by birds an' shit! Whoo!"

But yeah we end up there, get 'eld up by some weird fucker with a shotty! Proper bliss! Now that I think 'bout it only thing the shit'ead nicked was a PDA I found. Probably karma for not givin' it in to lost and found or summat. Either way, I'm reasonably fuckin' sure the gun was fake now I think about it. Surprised the minger din't steal me fuckin' shoelaces.

That's what The Wreck is mostly. Full o' fuckin' /tinkers/. Poor shits who'll rob ya quicker than say 'iya. One of those step to me again mate trust - FUCKIN' BANG! Steel fuckin' Palm mate straight to temple. Out like Tom fuckin' Daley.

Now there is exceptions now! One of those bein' me mate - despite pretty 'arsh words lookin' back - Rolan'...

 

Did you like that? That last log endin'? Where it's all like... "Rolan'..." Then the like... To be continued comes in an' you're all like: "Whoa! What 'appens now?!"

Pretty impractical now that I think about it. Like... I dunno I don't usually set up a playlist or let but it'll be dead confusion' if this shit goes on like... Shuffle or summat. Pah! Either way! So Rolan's there yeah? Shackin' up wi' some other la- well /person/. Summat needs to be clarified actually. See? We gettin' closer now boys! Proper excitin'. Anyway yeah that person is Cy. Cy being for... Cyanide.

Actually I jus' noticed I don't /actually/ know their name. But... Shit... Stuff for another date! So I see Rolan' there, after the shitty li'l /escapade/ - got full marks in English boys, proper well spoken I am - an' 'e gives me the flow o' thin's. At the time 'e was alone yeah? In this shack wi' one bed. An' then 'e goes on about some lass who apparently lives wi' 'im. Like any true Englishman I laughed in 'is fishy, snakey face. Bullshit. Utter bullshit I betted it was. But then - an' /rarely/ am I fuckin' wrong - she comes in later. But this lads comes /jus' before/ one of the most darkest and vilest fuckin' things is inflicted upon me by Rolan' an' 'is wee li'l gang. Y'see... Rolan' comes up to me when I first meet 'im on The Wreck, after 'is back-bitin'-esque greetin' an' basically gets on 'is fuckin' knees.

He begs /me/ for 'elp. "Oh wah wah, please sir, we 'ant got no food, no alcky, no nuttin' innit? Please lad /please/ spare us some food lad eh? I'll suck your-" an' yeah, yeah you get the pic innit? I'm not gonna embarass the poor lad. Now y'know me. If I 'ad to describe m'self, it'd be The Good Samaritan. Not like, /The/ Good Samaritan, I'm not a blasphemer or owt. But I'm a proper nice guy, that's the top an' bottom. So I 'elp 'im out like.

So there I go, like a right fuckin' cunt, bring in' a portion of /MY FUCKIN' STASH/ YEAH? In a big ol' fuckin' crate for 'is own leisure. I'm too fuckin' kind, that's the prob innit? We're talkin' fuckin' chippys, sweeties, some jam donuts, bottles o' cider. I'm like the fuckin' Red Cross 'elping out my poor starvin' fishy brethren. Then bang! Fuckin' /they/ walk in. Fuckin' Cy an' co. Not like... The actual colour Cyan. Like... Cy... /An'/ company. Now that I think about it... They might've actually came in after? Maybe? I dunno.

Top an' bottom is!... Cy fucks me off then! Like seriously: "Oh, you jus' brought us fuckin' lifeblood an' shit, now tah for the alco an' now fuck off." So obviously, bein' a self-respectin' lad an' that, I'm like: "You fuckin' what love? Fuck that shit! I've gotta crate o' me own valuable an' important shit upstairs! You can fuck right off!" And then! /And then!/ the fucker only goes an' pulls a gun on me. Like proper full on! Rolan's their whipped as shit fuckin' eggin' 'er on the seedy twat. Now I get what ya thinkin': "Fuckin' go on Macca lad! Steel Palm the slag!" An' you know what. You're probs right to be fair. But /at the time/ I thought she was jus' a poor insecure woman like. An' I don't 'it women. Disgustin' 'abit to be fair. So I let it go. Turn the other cheek like Jesus an' that. Let 'em 'ave it.

Long story short, Rolan' grows a heart, a conscience, an' some bollocks to replace 'is fuckin' collar. Brings me my crate 'arping 'is apologies at me. An' I decide to let 'im off. Cool myself down. Next day, I come back to the shack, an' the rest is 'istory. Well... Not yet like... Still some logs to go an' that till I've fully re-capped. But yeah, that fuckin' Cy pretty much falls in love wi' me on the spot. Y'know 'ow it is. All that cringey sexual banter an' that to substitute for flirtin'? They're terrible for it. But...

Well y'know... I'm not a mean cunt. They're fine is Cy I... Y'know I really don't mind 'em like. Acts proper 'are but... Well as I said, next few logs an' that innit. I've prattled on enough I'd say for now.

 

Y'know what lads? I was actually listenin' to some of the previous logs y'know, like, makin' sure their fan-dabby-dosey an' that? An' I realized... I actually forgot summat! Trust me, I'm as fuckin' shocked as you are. Seriously. Anyway, I think I remember now what /actually/ what happened on Day 3. This means what I /said/ 'appened on Day 3... Din't actually 'appen on Day 3 like. So this log... An' count your fuckin' lucky stars for this one pal, is a /PREQUEL!/ If that's yo know... Like... The proper word for it. I mean like... Everythin' in 'ere so far is me recountin' the past so... I guess it's all a prequel really. I think. Either way, you are one /lucky/ cunt my friend.

So! What actually 'appened? I'll tell you what. I met James, that's what 'appened. An' this is important 'cause /SPOILER ALERT MATE/ he's dead. Like... Shot through the 'ead dead I think. I think I actually... Oh fuck off.

*Rustling can be heard, before laughter*

Err! As if! I've still bandana on me! *More laughter* That means I've 'ad these jeans on for like... 5 days on trot or summat haha! /Bloody 'ell./ Anyways, I get you can't see me right now, but I'm currently 'olding up a Raggedy Rag, such a ragt that /appare3ntly/ used to be 'is bandana. Yeah... It's got an 'ole in it an' everythin'.

Now I bet you're thinkin' pal: "Bloody 'ell Macca! He died! I've actually skipped a few logs ahead and it turns out everyone were proper cut up about it as well! Why you bein' so tight lad?"

Well I'll fuckin' tell you why. He 'ated me, an' I 'ated 'im. He was a right cheeky cunt. Trust. Let me tell you what 'is first words were to me...

*A pause of a few seconds*

Actually can't remember what 'e said. All I know is, what 'e did try an' call me was a gay lad. Now, I 'ant got no trouble wi' it. 'Ell, I took it as a bit o' banter. You get me? /Li'l/ bit really odd to say it to a stranger like but 'ey, not everyone's like... Together in their 'ead is they? But you see, the problem was, 'e just. Did. Not. Give it a rest man. Every single little retort to owt was 'im goin' on about it.

Now at this point. I feel sorry for the lad. I mean, he's clearly like them blokes out the movies innit? Like where they proper 'ate summat an' it turns out in the end they is actually that summat? Like you know, secretly he /proper/ fancied me. You get me? So I'm cool to let it slide. Jus' ignore it innit? But when I go to walk out, he actually full on starts grindin' me mate. Tryin' to get me to say /I'm/the gay one. Now... You know, this is actually where alarms start goin' off an' shit. Like I'm gonna end up as John Paul in a sec. So... One thing led to another -sadly not in the way 'e would've liked it - an' I go for the prick. Top an' bottom, I'm bouncin' his 'ead off the fuckin' counter, and 'ave 'im over the table - again, sadly not in the way he'dve preferred - an' I'm puttin' 'is fuckin' face in wi' me Steel Palm innit lads. *He laughs*

Anyway, soon enough, some other lad breaks it up, an' that's around the time where the boss lass gets back in, an' I'm content to jus' go do my work in the kitchen too cool off innit? An' that's that. But... Oh wait! That's not /actually/ that! Fast forward a bit, an' James's part of the Shack Crew, relatively. Basically, an' I'm skippin' out /loads/ of shit 'ere, it turns out he actually proper fancies Cy. You know, 'e moved on from me to the next best thing innit? But then... I'm not sure actually. I think 'e uh... Tried to off 'imself? An' someone else did it? Or he got killed by some other lads, I'm not sure. Never seen a body myself, only this scratty bandana. Either way, there was a wee little "Oh no, I'm offing myself!" note left behind for Cy. An' I was given it, to give to /them/. 'Owever, it never got to 'er, jus' a l'il secret between you an' me? I tore it up. She never saw it, unless like... Laurel 'ad a spare or summat. I mostly did it for another reason, which you'll find out later but... Granted, it was /slightly/ motivated by spite. An' ey! Don't judge! God din't create us as perfections like. Easy to forget wi' me around but still... As I said.

I care too much innit?

 

Wow lads. /Fuckin' wow./

I have to start with an apology 'cause I'm fuckin' seethin' right now. I know this is usually a fuckin' recap but 'oly livin' shit am I fuckin' /livid./

I'll give you a fuckin'... Synopsis or whatever the fuck it's called of present times. *There is a pause as he takes a deep breath, before breaking into quiet laughter* I fuckin' can't believe it man. The fuckin' /cheek/ of it. So I'll tell you what 'appened lads. First off, remember that fuckin' little care package I brought in yeah? I was fuckin' /shot/ for it pal. For /my/ food. Why did I take it out? Oh yeah, because fuckin' news flash innit?! James, the fuckin' cunt. Is /ALIVE!/

*A loud bang is heard, before McKenzie groans in pain*

Alive. Yeah. Takin' /my/ fuckin' food without permission. So what do I do? I fuck up lads. I don't actually put 'is shitty li'l fuckin 'ead through right there an' then like I should've. Nah mate. I fuckin' play the bigger man card, an' walk out.

An' who fuckin' else- /who fuckin' else/ but that sneaky snakey /CUNT/ of a rubbish bin is stand in' there? Max. The stupid twat. An' long story short, the fucker pulls a shotty on me yeah? A bleedin' gun on the lad carrying supplies /'E BOUGHT 'IMSELF/, to feed Max's fuckin' bird! After - oh fuckin' get this - the dumb robot cunt tore 'Alf 'er fuckin' arm off! Stupid bastard.

Better yet, Laurel comes out, an' long story short, fuckin' pops me in one at the /KNEE/ for walkin' off /WITH MY OWN FUCKIN' GOODS/

*There is a long pause after his screaming*

An' then what? An' then fuckin' what? I'll tell you what. The fuckers /leave me/ on the fuckin' Wreck, supposin' I make my own fuckin' way to back to a place which they only survived /BECAUSE OF ME./

Anyways... They end up on Pinewood yeah? Outside where I fuckin' work no less - not that I do much any-fuckin'-more. I can 'ardly get up the bloody steps now. An' I'm there, thinkin'... Maybe... They've come to apologize? Show some fuckin' remorse like?

/Are they fuck./

They're avin' a nice little bitta goss' all lovely like. An' when I fuckin' walk past they treat me like a fuckin' leper they do. Can 'ardly talk to me. Shame? Was it fuck. Fuckin' Max comes out spout in' stupid fuckin' bullshit about 'ow it's /my fault/ I got shot by the snakey fuckin' duo. An' then... Oh ho an' fuckin' then? The little cunt says not to push my luck.

This fucker goes an' tells me not to push my luck. Not to push my fuckin' /luck/ as I shift my fuckin' way to my place to work after they fuckin' /go for me/!


/NOT TO PUSH MY FUCKIN' LUCK AS-/

*Another loud bang is heard, this time just before rumbles fill the sound, presumably as the recording device has fell over. Soon after, faint gasps of pain can be heard just before a series of "ow"s take place. This goes on for a few seconds more before silence fills the log for another minute*

 

'Ello lads. Tsk. Gonna 'ave to trim down that log; you know I'm /sure/ that there is a way just... I dunno 'ow to do it like.

Oh yeah! 'Case you were wonderin' I banged my knee at the end of it. Fuckin'. Crippilin' mate. Chronic. I need to get a sling or summat for it proper, though installin' 'ooks an' shit to the ceilin' sounds like it'll wreck the place. An' I doubt it's allowed in a motel. An' then I'd 'ave to by the /'ook/... Nah, nah nah.

Anyway! Before the li'l spaz attack las' episode I think we were actually recappin' shit weren't we? Uh... Fuckin' 'ell were we? Probs should've given /myself/ a li'l recap eh? *He chuckles* But 'ey! That's why I'm doin' 'em like, 'case I start goin' loopy or some shit an' don't remember owt. Or... Y'know, if I die or summat. An' fuckin' both of those options aren't lookin' all too unlikely if that lost log was owt to go by eh?

*He sighs*

So uh... I /think/ I got to the part wi' me bringin' the crate? So yeah! I bring the crate like... An' uh... From then I guess I jus' stook 'round there like... No point lyin', it was probs 'cause of Cy to be fair. But in my defence it was /proper/ clear they wanted it like.

*Scratching can be heard*

Now that I think about it... They should be 'round 'ere somewhere surely. Cy that is. I know they're stubborn but I doubt what Rolan's that much've a whipped cunt to let 'er stay behind after- oh shit yeah! I saw Rolan' right after I saw /those/ two snakes by the way. 'E said 'e din't know 'bout 'em turnin' on me an' I... /Yeah/ I believe 'im, I believe- Fuckin' 'ell I'm supposed to be fuckin' recappin'!

Ok, ok, uh... Yeah, she fancied me an' that an' um... I dunno! I kind've jus' stook around like. This was 'round the time Laurel started stickin' 'round as well like. She was probs one of the only one of us trained wi' a gun properly, I mean I don't know 'er past but you don't go carryin' a uh... What she call it now.... Ray gun? You don't go carryin' spacey ray guns 'round if you don't know 'ow to use 'em. So yeah, she /was/ good to 'ave about 'til she went /full fuckin' snake mode!/

*He takes a deep breath*

Anyway. Probs a good time to mention that we 'ad some problems wi' break ins an' attacks on the shack, as well as some lads - whom I've brilliantly named Sandies - who jus' seem to roam an' attack for the banter. I /think/ they might be tribals but... I dunno. But it's alright! 'Cause actually we 'ad this sick as fuck grate thing jus' above a ladder you 'ad to climb to get up. Well actually... At that time it was jus' boxes but later on a ladder was added. Don't ask me when, you really are pushin' me memory on that one.

So uh... Yeah. Around then I guess the shack 'ad visitors includin'... Me, Cy, Rolan', Laur', some fish lass called 'Ana came in I think a day or two later, along wi' some /proper/ creepy monkey fuck, an'... James? Yeah, I think James was there as well. Skip ahead a li'l more an'... Shit. I 'ant been keep in' track a days at all. Tell you what. Well call this day... 7 yeah? Next log I'll document that creepy monkey fuck. Next I'll document the arrival of that Tin man cunt, an' /then/ we'll be back on track eh? Nice one.

I'll need to start writin' fuckin' scripts at this rate man

 

OK! So /this/ one is about Max an' that, well... A bit about Max. I'm not to keen enough on the fucker to give 'im a whole lot as I'm sure ya can appreciate. Are you lik in' these dead streamlined intros by the way? I'm lovin' 'em me.

So I guess we should kick off wi' 'ow I first saw Max. This 'appened back on Pinewood. In the pub y'see, I was on my shift an' that. Again, long story shot, one of this fire people came in, goes by the name of Dieth, off the top of my 'ead, usually I wouldn't remember but it's 'ard to forget people literally made out. Of. Fucking. Flames. I mean, I don't even know if they are flames like, 'cause she was drink in' an' that. Long story short though. She gets pissed, /somehow,/ like, full on unconscious fuckin' slagged yeah? So I prop 'er up at the back yeah? In one of the black seatees.

Now in comes the robot. Max. And I'll be honest mates, right up until that one point with the crates and shit, Max was useful. Not only that. Jus' a sound lad in general. Not rude, determined et cetera et cetera. So 'e goes an' sorts out Dieth. Brings 'er back 'ome or whatever. Obviously, I assume they're together yeah? Again, fuckin' crazy but I'm vastly runnin' out of sane things to talk about. So, fast forward a day, I'm endin' me shift. On my way to The Wreck. An' I see Dieth. Give 'er the ol' condolences about 'ow the pub's closed an' that an' she's fine, but she /does/ want me to keep an eye out for Max on The Wreck. Tell 'im to come back an' that.

So I go, an' low an' behold, the very first lad I see there is Max. So I go up to 'im like, start tellin' 'im about 'ow Dieth's obviously worried an' that. Then 'e's all like: "Nah, nah, nah, don't tell 'er you've seen me. I don't even know 'er." Which - oddly enough - /did/ actually give me a li'l comfort for some reason. I dunno. I still felt bad for Dieth like, but, yeah. I didn't tell 'er. An' at the time I was on The Wreck, I was lookin' for Cy. So I ask 'im if 'e knows 'em or 'e's seen 'em. Now I can't remember /exactly/ what 'e said to be honest. But what I do know is, after that, we 'eaded to the shack an' saw 'em sitting on these beams. You know like the construction type. Yadda, yadda, chat, chat, chat wi' me an' them, lovely an' love eh? Then I think they goes to talk to Max, meanin' that... They were friends before-hand?

I'll be honest lads, I didn't make a note of this. Sorry for the enigma an' shit, but I still jus' can't remember that clearly. All I know is, from then on, Max was to be allowed in to the shack, an' I guess that pretty much made 'I'm part of the group. 'Specially considerin' 'ow much 'e 'anged about after that. An' fuckin' lucky thing too.

So another day after that yeah? Rolan's up an' about again now, all lovely jubbly, an' I think in the shack right now is: Me, Rolan' an' Laurel. /Maybe/ 'Ana, I'm not sure. What I do know is, Cy comes in, an' /gives/ Rolan' the shack, going by the way 'e tells it at least. An'... That was that, it sorta felt like... I dunno, like I was the only one who gave a shit about 'er. Rolan' seemed sad but... 'E jus' let 'em go in the end. I couldn't stop 'em at the time, so I set off after, an' of course... I couldn't find 'em. Poof.

So I go back to the shack an'... Well it's all 'bout lookin' ahead now. Around this time James also went missin'. I think this is event that caused 'Ana to believe 'e was dead. Who knows. I 'ave no idea what happened, only that 'e disappeared, an' left a note for Cy, I've already gone over all that. This is important 'cause this is when Max comes back, an' the first thing Rolan' wants 'im doin' is lookin' for supplies. Food an' that. We should've been lookin' for medical supplies, given what comes next as well as the obvious scarcity of food on a fuckin' wasteland planet. Another objective was to try an' find James. Bring 'im back an' find Cy an' at /least/ get an explanation out of 'em. The Cy objective bein' my suggestion. Another suggestion being to /not/ bring James back, if we're all bein' honest 'ere. Reasons bein' obvious.

Long story short, 'e ends up finding 'er. An' pullin' 'er in wi' blood fuckin' /gushin'/ out 'er throat. Chronic, serious. Apparently she shot 'erself, I... Bloody 'ell. I never did actually ask 'em.

*He takes a heavy sigh*

Spoilers... She pulled through. At the end of a day I ain't a biologist like but it must've jus' nicked 'er. She /did/ try it 'erself an' that... Maybe a bad angle? No idea... All I know is Max pulled 'er through in the end. An' I guess for that; no matter 'ow much've a snake 'e turned out to be, I thank 'im for that. I really do. After that... I stayed wi' Cy. 'Ad to feed 'em an' shit for a bit. Max also said I 'ad to convince Cy not to jus' go an' try again. It worked. I guess.

*He chuckles weakly*

I uh... Make it sound all easy... Like it was never any work. Oh it was, 'ad to send out 'Ana an' Laur' to go find... Robbin' alcohol? Big ball ache for disinfectant. Amongst other shit. I don't know, I was disconnected to be perfectly honest, not jus' 'cause I was scared for Cy but... I felt useless I guess. I couldn't 'elp 'em. All I wanted to do was /something/ only I could do.

That's the problem wi' Cy. I don't know if they /do/ care 'bout me the way I care about them. They're a very 'ard person to read. Very 'ard. I know that I tried me 'ardest to stop 'er from tryin' to do 'erself in again, an' she didn't try again but... Maybe anyone could've done that.

The reason I ripped up that note was 'cause I definitely wasn't 'aving fuckin' /James/ fuck Cy up. As much as I'd like to make it about /me/ an' /my/ spite, it was for them in the end. Cy.

Never tell 'em though. No, no. I couldn't. Never put that on their shoulders. In the end it's obvious I suppose; between me an' Cy... Well I feel a lot more than fancyin' 'em. I really do. An' I-I think they think more of me as well. More of an' 'ope to be honest. An' yet I say this shit an' I don't even know /what/ motivated 'em to off 'emself. I'm fuckin' sat in 'ere lettin' me fuckin' knee 'eal an' - she's probably out there. Outside my fuckin' door maybe, who knows.

I need to find 'er. Soon as I can an' jus'... Talk. Get everythin'... Whatever everythin' /is/... Out.

 

Well now! We're back eh? You're... Probably not appreciatin' that if you're listenin' to these on binge but trust me, it 'as been a few days since the last one. Well... Few? Couple? No clue to be honest. Uhm... Anyway! You're 'ere for recaps if I'm not wrong surely? As lovely an' intense as McKenize Marshall Wayne's lovelife is, the fact is, I'd say my duty to recaps takes precedent!... That is the word yeah?

Anyway! When did we leave off eh? I /think/... We was talkin' 'bout Max an' Cy an' that? OK... Well... After that the most important thing that 'appened was probably my own contributions bein' stolen. Which... I've already covered after it 'appened. D'you see 'ow everythin's comin' together now? Crazy, I know.

That bein' said... I'm /sure/ something 'appened between then... Uhm...

*Tapping can be heard*

Oh shit yeah! Fuckin'... Cy' yeah. She started doin' some expansions yeah? On the shack. Now this was after a massive bust up wi' everyone else I think. They started ramblin' on about 'ow we should be bloody settin' up gates an' shit, takin' "turf". Now... I've never been on a fuckin' "turf"... I din't want a "turf" an' neither did no one else. Probs 'cause... Well we'd get fuck all off it 'cept attention of the fuckin' Sandies most probably.

So uhm... Yeah! She was outvoted like. Went through the cycle of: "I'll fuckin' do it meself then wah wah wah. But... Yeah, she was the light. Gave up on it, luckily enough. 'Owever! Nobody argued wi' an' expansion of the shack, so long as you know, we weren't placin' fuckin' flags down an claimin' shit. So they - Cyanide - gets to work on an'expansion. Tearin' down scrap shit, meltin' it... Whatever. I 'elp 'em wi' it to an' extent.

Thing is, neither us of know 'ow to fuckin' build. Now you see that similarity gives way to a difference like. Where /I/ would give up there an' then, /they/ jus' gave it a go anyway. The result of this difference leads to the very reason I'm even botherin' to tell ya.

/Obviously/ the expansion falls down... At least... The outline... Scaffolding... Whatever. Poof. Fucked off. Granted... Other stuff did 'appen between then an' when the expansion fell. To do with /me/... It was probably the uh... Establishment of... Wait a sec, I'll do one of those cool name joinin' things... Uh... Fuck it. Basically, around this point, Cy got /pretty/ desperate for the Macca yeah? Tried to get me pissed, take advantage of my weakened state... Callous of 'em really.

An' uh... Yeah. Later that night... Things took place that led to those cringeworthy comments made at the end of the last log. We'll leave it there ya know... These are logs for my own safety not... An erotica audiobook innit? *He chuckles* No, no. Audiobook, for me, probs gonna be a comedy. I mean... Jus' sayin' but I'm a /pretty/ witty twat. Jus'... You know... Mine an' many other people's opinion like.

That's that then... That night I learned some stuff... 'Bout Cy' that uh... Tad uncomfortable like. Will 'ave to... Ta;l more about but... Not on 'ere I don't think. Other than that, the whole collapse of the expansion meant - an' if you 'ant worked this out yet then /fuckin' 'ell/ I hope you're not readin' these to catch me killer. 'Cause you're pretty shit at adding stuff up - meant that the 'ole group 'ad a reason to ditch the shack. Between fuckin' raiders, worms an' the fact that the 'ole structure could fall down at any moment, /probably/ was what motivated them to ditch The Wreck an' 'ead over to Pinewood.

So uh... Yeah! That's that for now. Little... "P.S" segment, maybe y'want a present day 'ighlight or summat. I met up w' Cy an' I jus' left 'ers. They uh...Wanted my side of the crate situation an' that. Turns out Max an' that actually said I made my /own/ way back off the Wreck. Y'know, wi' that knee I could 'ardly fuckin' walk straight on.

*He takes a sigh*

Fuck it... Cy's uh... Gone off somewhere... Dunno where. /Some/ shady shit. I'll interrogate 'er later like. But yeah! That's that then.

*Tapping can be heard*

An' I now 'ave /fuck all/ to do.

 

Alright lads?

Y'know, listenin' to these logs, it's soundin' like we're gettin' to present day ever so slowly. An' by ever slowly I mean pretty fuckin' quickly like. I mean... We got to the 'ole motivation to leave the Wreck bit yeah? Well thing is like, the crate shit was what came right after that. So... Nah, surely we're not at the present...

/'Oly fuckin' shit!/ We've only gone an' reached the present. That's... Wow mate. *He laughs*

Uhm... Guess I should start off wi' me leg's condition then eh? Sounds like a nice start in' point... It's doin' a lot better yeah! Not exactly runnin' yet like but, can actually climb stairs again now so uh... Fair dues an' that.

*Tapping can be heard, just before laughing*

Oh shit! I fuckin' knew I was forgettin' summat. OK, so remember when I said 'bout meet in' up wi' Cy? Wasn't 'alf as simple as that boys, /nah/. Turns out... 'Round near the time I made that proper soppy log, Cy' an' Laur' was throwin' a party in Rolan's room. I'm not a "stealin'-the-limelight" kinda guy y'see, so I dint even bother to check who was behind the doors, an' if I fuckin' did what I'm about to tell ya would've been avoided.

'Kay, so basically, Cy' an' Laur' get pissed up. Proper out of it, in Rolan's room mind. /Proper/ fucked it up apparently, better yet, Cy' an' Laur' only went an' 'ad a snog apparently.

Now I'm 'aren't threatened by Laur' to be honest, don't get me wrong, I may've said I forgive 'er to 'er face - oh yeah, that's 'appened as well boys, same with Max. They came grovellin' an' shit. Silly twats - but she's still a fuckin' snake in my eyes like. She'll pounce soon enough I bet. But 'ey, even /I'm/ wrong sometimes to be honest lads. Anyway, digressin', so they 'ad a snog an' that yadda yadda. Not really threatened myself as I said, plus they were apparently pissed out their 'eads.

Fuckin' /Rolan'/ though.

Nah mate. 'E wasn't 'aving none of it. After the party, all three of 'em got put in the overnighter yeah? Must've gone a li'l too far wi' some shit, I dunno, couldn't of been that bad if Rolan' got sent down as well. Anyway, Rolan' gets out first yeah? An' 'e's 'ummin an' 'arrin like fuckin' no one's business. /Proper/ annoyed. But y'know, I've told 'im once, if 'e don't stop actin' all clingy, fuckin' Laur' ain't gonna stop is she? So I try to convince 'im otherwise, but no. 'E locks 'imself in a fuckin' loo stall an' rings 'er up. Tsk, tsk. I know, I know.

Think they might be talkin' it over right now actually, Rolan' an' Laur'. I dunno. All I know is 'e was 'ectic. Tried to push me down stairs! Only like... Six of them or summat. But still! That's dangerous wi' me knee an' that! 'E said sorry though, so eh.

An' yeah... After that you know the rest.

Well... Maybe' not /all/ of it.

*He takes a heavy sigh, his tone settling down a bit*

I jus' left Cy's like. This is like... /Just/ 'appened. She got back from disappearin', apparently dome mate of 'ers died or summat, Laurel an' James were there as well. Anyway, she got back, I went over - bar some other shit that 'appened, which I'll touch on later - an' uh... Yeah. It was all good! We sat around, she got some draw in from this /proper/ shady lookin' cunt an' we spent the night together. Pretty way of say in' I shagged 'er I guess but you get the picture innit?

An' I brought up the thing. An' she jus' gave it to me straight like: "If you've got a problem wi' me, that's that. Sorry" yadda yadda. An' um... I guess that led to me ask in' what we were like. Jus' mates... Summat more. I dunno. She uh... Din't want nowt serious. Still don't I don't think. /I/ do but... Well tough tits if only one of us does eh?

*He pauses for a few seconds*

I want more though. Can't 'elp it. Trust, fuckin' trust me when I say I wish I could 'elp it. I'll 'ave to bring it up again sometime... An' if it's any more awkward as what I've jus' been through there we're all in for a fuckin' treat mate.

 

A new log is saved with the generic name untitled443.mp4, top of the most recently added list.
As the recording plays, a feminine voice clears her throat before taking on an extremely exaggerated masculine play-voice, trying so hard to imitate the voice that came before it.

"Oi lads chavs n' governor pip pip goin' for tea. Just wanna' make 'nother diary entry. Today I broke a nail n' lost my favorite mini skirt. 'Orst day a' my life 'innit, gonna' go cry n' then buy Cy some breaky- "

The voice would break from its active attempt at a horrible imitation, Cyanide's regular voice beaming through,

"- Seriously, you should start bringing me breakfast every morning,"

And then, it returns to it's deepened impersonation, truly a Broadway worthy performance.

"Oh-ho- Yes, what she said. But first m'gotta go cry n' get a pedicure. Pip pip cheerio,"

The voice pauses

...

...

"Rugby. Or something."

The log ends.

 

'Eyup lads. Day... I've pretty much fucked that off to be fair. I'll 'ave to do a run-around the logs in a sec. Get everythin' in order.

'Aven't updated all that recently y'know, an' I'm terribly sorry lads. Be sure that my 'ole purpose is to keep you lot entertained, obviously.

*He sighs*

Anyway! Not much to talk about like, since I've left The Wreck pretty much fuck all's 'appened 'ere on Piney. I'm not complaining to be honest. Keep on missin' out on Cy though, sadly. I uh... Oh yeah! There's summat that 'appened like, I remember takin' 'er out for breakfast at the pub. By takin' 'er out like I mean I got fuckin' dragged their an' 'ad to make it for 'er more like. An' I let 'er 'ave it free! Puttin' bloody job on the line mate, too kind I am, too kind.

Suddenly, people see someone mannin' the bar an' it's time to throw a fuckin' party or summat, big fat line span in' the 'ole pub tryin' to get drinks then. Couldn't jus' ignore 'em like, so I 'ad to tend. Cy din't like that, got frustrated an' 'eased off. Tsk. Poor lass. Mus' feel intimidatin' when the Mac don't take attention. For anyone. Oh well.

/Nah/, she 'ardly felt that bad I bet. But I will make it up to 'er though, surely.

So yeah! That's... Probably 'bout it to be Ho- Oh wait shit! 'Ow the fuck could I forget that?

So uh... Rolan' yeah? Currently 'e's in the 'ospital like. Don't take much notice mind you, 'cause I was led to believe by who else but The Snake Queen and King: Max an' Laurel it wasn't nowt serious. I thought 'e probs fell down a flight of stairs or summat. Y'know wi' the fucked up foot.

Was 'e /fuck/. Turns out right? Fuckin' Laurel the slag only went an' choked 'im 'alf to death. I don't- I mean the poor cunt could probably be dead an' I don't even fuckin' know! Don't know where 'e's stayin' like 'cause no one's told me! So can't visit 'im. Cy doesn't give a shit, bit disappointed to be honest, consider in' the shit 'e's done for 'er. An' I 'ant been able to track none of them to find out where the lad's at!

*He sighs*

A fuckin' proper sad state of affairs. Jus' when I was startin' to trust again eh? Fuck it. That's life innit?

 

So... Log number... 14? Maybe? If you count our little incursion like. Cheeky cow.

*He chuckles weakly*

Uhm... Again. Nowt much to report on like. Rolan's not out yet, far as I know, though I doubt any of those snakes that I know would bother to inform 'im I give a shit. Nah, they'd sooner tell 'im I 'ad 'im snortin' fuckin' Asbestos an' it's some'ow /my/ fault he's all throat-fucked an' shit.

*He sighs*

Stagnation then! Yeah... Jus' decided to 'ammer me shifts at the pub like, it's pretty entertainin' y'know. Seems rather... Like cut off from all the shit that seems to be 'appenin wi' Piney lately innit? Well... To an extent at least eh? You don't get 'alf as many fuckin' nutters at least. Granted, there's a fair few but... Not /too/ many like. I mean... We 'ave this one guy who orders proper weird shit, like this weird white pot thing we 'ad in the back with all those fishy lines on. Then again 'e's a fish so maybe it's like 'is taste or summat. Don't know, decided to source up another one 'case 'e comes back. Proper weird name. Sue or summat.

'E asked me why all the shit's goin' on recently, an' I told 'im what I'd tell anybody which is: "I 'ant been told an so I can't go tellin' no-one else." Though I did tell 'im 'ow it seemed to 'appen /after/ I left The Wreck. I say "I" but after that massive fuckin' sandstorm pretty sure everyone up an' left to be fair. Guess wi' no edge place left Piney's back in the scope. Now I think about it... Everyone in the shack /was/ proper eager to get out... I say that even thou go the twats din't bother to 'elp me off it. Though I remember Cy treatin' that shit shack like it was there own fuckin' chiseller.

An' there it is! The obligatory Cyanide mention. Fuckin' /woo/. These /did/ honestly start off as some sort of... Record of events y'know, meant to be useful like. Catch a killer or... 'Istory. That bein' said sounds like the police 'round 'ere don't do fuck all let alone catch killers, an' it's not like I 'ave some Eagle View that gives me a better look at the goin's an' shit so 'istory can go out the window.

*There is a pause of around 5 seconds

I don't even know man. Y'probs won't 'ave to put up wi' much more of that like- well let's be honest no ones gonna fuckin' listen to this so I guess you 'ant 'ad to put up wi' owt. An' if you /'ave/ been listenin' through all these then... Fuckin' 'all you must be one /lonely/ bastard.

Yeah... She's 'ardly 'round anymore. Las'... 'Owever many times I've seen 'er she's jus' fuckin' bolted as soon as she sees me. An' y'know this is like... When we actually /do/ 'ave important shit to talk about? Mainly bein' why she's admin' so fuckin' shady. But... Yeah, no care in 'er so.... What can you do? Well y'can make a log I guess. It /is/ true, they're pretty therapeutic. 'Elps ya come to terms wi' 'ow fuckin' mental you are to be honest. That bein' said I'm not the one runnin' 'round wi' fuckin' swords an' shit so maybe I'm fine like.

I jus'... I dunno. Wish someone fuckin' gave a shit yeah? Maybe 'bout summin other than bein' edgy as fuck. Maybe 'bout me? Who knows.

*He coughs a few times*

Now I'm sure that lad next door said summin about sellin' crates or summat.