This diary, if found, is in a locked chest in Caroline's home. The chest is tightly locked. The diary appears to be a small leather journal, with some fancy planets and heart designs indented into the front. May 28th, 2416 So. . . I'm gonna start writing in this diary thing, to vent my feelings, and that sorta thing. It's uhh, a bit weird, kinda gotta learn to write again. I wonder if I wrote in one of these before my being turned into a computer? Anyways, if anybody finds this, well, I hope you don't read it. . . Anyways, yesterday was, weird. Here's what happened. I /still/ like Ernal. . . which is, hard. Because I know he can't like me, like I like him. I tried to spend the day meeting some new people to talk to, to try to forget about the whole situation. A lot of people seemed nice, but it's still so, so hard. I can't describe the feeling when it's not that they /don't/ like you, but that they /can't/. Anyways, how the past few days have gone. . . Well, after starting to talk to other people, I first met someone named BlossomHerb, Floran, who seemed nice. I know I met someone else before that, but I can't remember who. Anyways, Blossom seemed nice. We were talking, and got pulled into saving some guy from a crashed ship, and that sorta cut it off. After that, I met a guy named Oak, another Floran. He seemed to be smart. After a little while, Nihili showed up, and for the reason of me not getting killed, or kidnapped, I won't talk about that for now. But Oak seemed nice to me, and not to Nihili. I can see why Oak thought Nihili was being mean, but, he was probably just being protective. After that, I talked to a guy named Omega. He seems very interested in me. I know he apparently is some kinda clone, so we can relate our weird traits. We went to that camp place with the big 'no guns' sign outside. That place was beautiful, I loved the colors and everything like that, the views and the trees. I talked to the people there, who honestly all seemed to be kinda nervous about something? But I don't know what it was. Anyways, I enjoyed my time there with him. We later were at the park, in that scary place called Upside. A bunch of people with guns ran by, so he had to go. He told me he'd come back later but, he didn't. I guess he just got caught up with something. Anyways, after that, I went back to Ernal. We talked for, a long, long time. I struggled not to pass out while I was over there, and we talked more about, well, us. It seems that he's getting tired of telling me, but I can't tell. Anyways, it was, a good talk. Again, I still like him, as much as I'm trying to move on. It's hard. But, in the end, I went home and lied in bed, staring at the wall. Final notes, well, not sure what I'm gonna do for the next little bit, probably try the best I can to find new people, who aren't Ernal. All the people I've talked to so far seem nice. There's also one more guy Ernal was talking about who I wanna talk to, named Francisco. I saw him for a little bit, seemed nice, and Ernal said he was. Anyways, I guess that's all for today, or, yesterday, rather.
June first, 2416 The past few days have been. . . interesting. . . I think I have finally begun accepting Ernal for who he is. . . but we’re still friends. I keep trying to help him with some other guy he’s been talking to but. . . he seems to be having a rough time right now, and I feel like part of it may be my fault. Anyways, I finally talked to Francisco, and now that we have talked, I can see why Ernal thought so highly of him. He seems like a really nice guy. . . but enough about guys right now, I have other problems. . . It looks like I am right, the scientists who turned me into this computer thing have been watching me, ever since they released me. It seems like they must be trying to study me, or something like that. Anyways, one of them showed up today at the tavern at Mud two days ago. Or, no, he didn’t show up, he was waiting for me when me and this guy named Asirris I met were walking there. He said he would kill me if I did anything bad, because he had some little device which he claimed would terminate me. After a little bit of him arguing with Ernal, who stopped him from getting to me, Asirris snuck out, and went around behind him. Kahlua came in with a staff and just as he was about to swing, Asirris made a noise. He turned to look at him and Kahlua smacked him in the side of the head. He fell unconscious, and is now is the prison at Upside. After this, Asirris took me to some secret bunker place, and he is having me hide there until this is all over. That was one scientist dealt with, but there are 3 more. I went to that beautiful little refugee camp, and followed a path into the woods where I found this gigantic, and quite pretty, ruined bridge. I found another robotic looking guy named Dale S, and we sat across from each other for a while. After a bit, he told me there was a hylotl in a lab coat behind me. I got scared, looked up, and turned around. I told him to get away from me and he said “Oh Caroline, don’t be like that.” I threw a rock at him and told him to go away and then Dale walked me home. At least this scientist didn’t threaten me. Anyways, that’s most of what happened. I can’t remember much else. Figured I’d just write about it. I have to be careful with these guys, the scientists. . . They are probably watching me right now, which is why I write in a physical book, so they hopefully won't see it. Anyways, that’s all I gotta say for today. Hope things go better. -Caroline
June Third, 2416 Oh no. . . I messed up. I need help. . . I was walking through the woods on that refugee camp again, trying to go the other way to that huge bridge. Apparently the Hylotl Scientist from before was following. I stopped for a while to sit in a cave, and these scary people with rifles and red armor to camouflage with the grass and trees there. One of them tells me ‘sit down, stay quiet.’ So I did. They did the same to the scientist who followed me, and he was more stubborn. They kidnapped us and took us back to their ship. I’m scared. . . These people are scary. They say they’re holding us for ransom, and I don’t know what to do. I have an advantage, though. I’m going to get us out of here. They don’t know that I can communicate to the outside with my head through my main computer. I talked to Nihili, and she tracked and traced location directly to the ship I am at. I will be getting some people here tomorrow. I hope they don’t find this before then, but just in case I am hiding this page until I’m out. You know why I am really scared though? I am alone in this cell with a scientist, save the one guard watching us. He keeps saying mean things to me and I can’t sleep with him nearby. He still takes notes on me, but hides his clipboard underneath him at night, so I can’t see what they wrote, and the guards say if we touch eachother we get punished. Being alone is driving me mad, that’s why I need to get out of here quick. -Caroline A bit of a closer. . . I made it out, with the help of Omega and his friends. Ernal told me that he was getting stressed out because of me. I feel awful. I just want to make people happy. I just want my old life again.
June 12th, 2416 I-. . . I don't know how to describe this feeling. . . how to describe my life right now I. . . Somebody who I. . . who I've liked for, a long time, in the back of my mind. . . we spent, the whole day together, yesterday. That came in the early afternoon, to Mud, where I was. They'd told me the day before that they had no idea how to swim so. . . I told them I'd teach them. After walking to my favorite place, that half-destroyed bridge in the woods on the 'no guns' camp. We, I taught him how to swim, he did so well, and. . . I could tell by how he was acting he- he had so much trust in me, it was. . . weird. . . After I taught him how to swim, we went to go sit for a while, looked at nature and all that. . . he told me he had to talk to me, about something serious. I got kinda scared at first, but he told me that he had run away from his family, dad had dementia, didn't even know who he was, his mom kept trying to take care of him and he said he was leaving to do something. . . He hugged me, I hugged him, he kept leaning on me, kept caring for me. . . When I started crying, feeling bad for his situation, he wiped my tears away, even though he still had them coming from his own eyes. . . He kept telling me how good of a friend I was to him. . . how much I mattered to him. . . it was, weird. . . I can't describe it. . . He- he told me that I mattered so much to him, told me he didn't know what he would do without me. . . we hugged again, I leaned on his shoulder, he hugged me back, so caring. . . holding me, my wet hair, caring for me. He grabbed my hand, sat up in front of me, told me how much this all meant to him, letting him talk, letting him hug me, caring for him. . . He leaned in, grabbed my face, pulled me closer. . . I knew what was going on. . . He kissed me. . . I kissed him. . . He. . . he told me later, he said. . . "It's crazy but. . . I- I think I'm in love with you Caroline. . ." And I told him "Ya know what's even crazier. . .? I think I'm in love too. . ." We hugged, we kissed again, he cares for me. . . he loves me. . . I-. . . I don't know how to describe this feeling. . . how to describe my life right now I. . . Everything is so. . . perfect. . . I love it. . . I love him. . . -Caroline
June 14th, 2416 Conner. . . that's who he is, by the way. . . I'm not going to try to spell his last name but. . . I realized I never said it in the last entry thing. . . not that I think anyone will read this for. . . A long long time but. . . ya. So, about Conner. . . we're still doing good. Ernal talked to me, told me he was worried about us. . . I asked him why and he said something about "Hoping our love was real, and not just some kind of desperate feeling" or something like that. . . I got worried, worried that that was what was happening. I, I went back to Conner, asked him if he though this started too fast, happened too fast. He told me he didn't know, he'd never had love before me, I'd never had love before him. We don't know the rules, we don't know how it works. . . but it's ok. . . I think I know what happened. . . at first it was, what Ernal said. . . we were both so desperate for somebody to love, so we ran to eachother, but that was all it was. . . But then, something happened. . . the next day, I decided that, I was going to take him to show him my brain ball capsule thing, where the computer program is held. I was scared, he. . . he acted weird about it, I think, I don't blame him but, I was terrified. He asked. . . asked me if he was just. . . Temporary. . . That killed me. . . Not because of him but. . . because I'd just, never thought of it that way, I guess. I never thought about the fact. . . computers don't age, and I'm not an AI, I'm a human mind with computer abilities so. . . can I ever go rampant or whatever? I don't want to be this way. . . I just want a normal life. . . I told him that, I cried. And then, he tells me 'I'm sorry Caroline, I don't know how I ever could've thought something like that' or something along those lines. . . and he kissed me, and I kissed him, and he told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him. He kissed me for what felt like forever, I swear it must've been hours. And that's when I realized, it was more then just. . . desperate love. It was, once that, I think. . . but, it changed. It became real. So, then I found my parents house. . . I went there and. . . I'm not getting into details for fear that I will cry all over this paper but. . . they're gone. It's my fault. They went into hiding from the scientists and they said they aren't coming back. . . ever. . . Conner said he would try to find them, which is so sweet but. . . ugh, I can't write anymore.... -Caroline
Ya, so, I went to talk to Ernal last night, just tried to ask him something, I was tired, I couldn't think straight. . . he yelled at me. . . it. . . it scared me. I can't forget about it. I yelled back at him, too. . . and I'm just. . . I'm just worried for him, that's all. I just wanna be friends. . . ya know? He's pretty much the reason I'm here today, so. . . he keeps telling me he's ok. . . he's not, he's different. I'm just worried for him, but he doesn't seem to want me around. . . I can't forget about him yelling at me. . . I can't forget it. . . I'm just, taking a break. No phones, no diary entries, no Mud, no Ernal, just me, Conner, and a big nice beach house for a few days. That's what I need. . .
June 20th, 2416 So, I know I haven't written in this thing in a little bit. . . Conner uhh. . . I dunno, something happened to him, he got all sad and depressed and kept saying he wanted to die but. . . Well, I called his brother, Spencer, to come try to calm him down, which worked, and Conner went off for a while to well, get better, I guess. Being without Conner, even for just a week, it killed me. I was so so worried about him, I don't even know why. I knew he was getting better, I knew that wherever he was he was being taken care of but. . . I don't know. . . nevermind. He's back now so. . . I'm happy. I'm happy when he's around, I love him so much, it's crazy. He's so sweet, so amazing. There are so many people in this universe, and so many bad people in this universe, and yet I found one who's so sweet, so perfect. I don't know how I made it a week without talking to him. Anyways, onto other stuff, I know I always ramble on about Conner in these, how amazing he is. . . but he deserves it. . . Ok, so, I met this girl on Mud, Oka, I think her name was. She seems like a sweet girl, but sadly for her she's got a bunch of mental issues and things, like insomnia and stuff. So I started talking to her, because (even though it turned out to be her disorders) she seemed all shaken up about something. She seems like a really nice girl, though. But, I had to leave partway through our conversation because I got a phone call, which dragged on and on and on. I felt bad for taking it but, I was worried it had something to do with Conner. Anyways uhh, Conner came back the next morning, and we uhh. . . I dunno, it was just so great seeing him again, I missed him. But, he passed out, and I went over to Mud to try to buy some food for later on. I found Oka there, and I told her I was sorry for leaving last night. We talked for awhile and somehow eventually, she ended up telling me she'd slept on one of the benches at Mud. Ugh, that made me feel awful, poor girl. . . I uhh, couldn't help but to offer her one of the beds at my parents house, because we have so many extra ones there, like bunk bed kinda things. So, she said sure, ya. She kept saying more things that made me feel bad for the poor girl like, that it meant so much to her that I was being so nice. . . or that she never ever had people wanting to talk to her. . . Why do people who are so sweet have to have such bad things happen to them. . . it's so sad. But, I love it, because. . . she seems happy right now, which is awesome, I'm happy for her. But then, apparently later that night, she woke up panicking, saying she had awful visions about her parents or something. . . I can't get into much details. Anyways, I went down to see what was going on, and Oka was over in the bathroom, sitting in the dark and like, hyperventilating or something. She practically jumped on me when she saw me, hugging me like she was completely terrified, and I could tell she was. But uhh, Conner woke up while I was talking to her so, Spencer told me he could take over, and told me to go check on Conner and shut the door. It's the next morning, I haven't seen them since. I hope she's alright. Something else happened, about like, the scientist people. . . I don't wanna talk about it. . . one of them showed up at the beach house, while Spencer and Oka must've fallen asleep already. I uhh. . . we didn't kill him but, he's gone. We teleported him away to some random place far, far, far away from here. . . So ya. . . Conner is back, Spencer is here at the house now, Oka is here at the house now. . . haha, our little family is growing I guess. . . and the scientists are officially gone for good. Life is looking up. I'm so happy now. . . aww, Conner is still sleeping. . . what a little cutie. . . -Caroline
June 21st, 2416 Went to Mud for a bit in the morning, that was pretty fun, I talked to M’Kali, she had her hair all different and it looked really cute. She's a really sweet girl, we talked for a while about random stuff, nothing in particular really. Asked each other how we were, she asked me how Conner was, that sorta stuff. I went home for a sec, but Conner was /still/ asleep! Argh, he always sleeps so late, I wish I could just talk to to him forever! But he's too cute when he sleeps, so I'll let him sleep all he wants. I love Conner, he's so nice to me. I just wanna spend my whole entire life with him. (That's not selfish, right?) But ya, Conner is just amazing, I guess. I'm sorry for always rambling on about him, to everyone. I just can't stop thinking about him! I think I finally remembered how to spell his last name. Berchstone, I think? Am I a bad girlfriend for not remembering, I dunno. Ya know, I could just have him tell me, then force myself to remember it with android stuff but… I dunno… I don't think I like all this android stuff. I'm trying to be more normal. I wonder if anyone has noticed? Like, for example, I've been carrying a phone around now, instead of texting people through my head. Again I just… I don't think I like all the android stuff. But I have to live with it so… Ya know now that I think about it, I don't even have a last name! How does that work? Like, if Conner and I get married one day, am I just ‘Caroline Berchstone’ with no maiden name or? Huh, that's something I've never really thought about before… getting married. I know it’s wayyyyyy too early but… that doesn't mean I'm opposed to the idea of it happening one day… I love him so much so… maybe… hopefully. I just wanna follow him wherever he goes, just wanna hold his hand and be together forever… ya… that sounds… perfect. *a little drawing follows* Huh so, I dunno if that's good or bad… I drew that little thing there… supposed to be me and Conner, if you couldn't tell… dunno why I did the balloons… but I guess it fills up some space. I'm gonna try to give it to Conner later, as a little gift thingy. Alright, whatever. Off to do other stuff! -Caroline
June 23, 2416 *some light tears stain the page* Oh my god. . . best day of my entire life. . . wow Conner, I love you so much. . . I don't care if anyone else says anything, I love you, I don't care. I love you more than anything in this entire universe. Wow wow wow wow wow. -Caroline
June 24th, 2416 Ummmm, wow. This is amazing. This is probably the best day of my entire life! Or, the day after the best day, I suppose, but still amazing! Well first off, Spencer and Oka actually invited me to their house, they told me they wanted to get married! How amazing is that!? That's like, the little couple I brought together and they love eachother so so much! Awwww… how cute. But, that's not even nearly the best part… I ummm, Two nights ago, or I suppose, early yesterday morning, Conner uhhh… ya know what, I want Conner here while I write about this, let me go see if he is at Mud then I'll be back to write. (Not that you can tell here) *from here on the page is stained with some tears* Oh my god oh my god oh my god… Spencer is dead, Oka is dead, Conner left… oh my god I don't know what to do… I can't sleep… Spencer got murdered and Oka killed herself… this is awful, they were supposed to get married, supposed to live the rest of their lives together, and now they're dead… Some kind of slave robot did it… and I know exactly who ordered it… what the fuck… they were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together… she killed herself right over his dead body… they were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together... what kind of monster would do this... oh wait... I know the monster who did this... if you ever read this... I hope you feel good about what you did... because you're a monster... you ended the lives of two amazing people who loved each other more than the universe itself. How could you do something like this? I can't believe they're dead... Oh my god… Conner was /mad/… he wanted to- still wants to kill the guy who did it… I know the guy who did it, I know he's got friends, people who work for him, even… I couldn't let Conner go do that, and I think I made him mad… because he left right after I told him… kept saying he wanted to go home… he didn't even tell me he loved me before he left… I said ‘I love you, I'm gonna miss you…’ and he just said ‘ok’ and left… oh no oh no what did I do… they were supposed to get married and love their whole lives together… I wasn't even there, Conner wasn't even there… we could have stopped him… and now Conner left, I don't know when he's gonna be back but I can't sleep tonight… he was scaring me last night, kept saying he was going to kill everyone involved… I don't like seeing him like that, but I know he can't help it… I know he still loves me… but, I think he's mad at me. But I'd much rather Conner be mad, then dead… Ugh, please Conner, don't try to kill these people… don't get yourself hurt… PLEASE CONNER… I'm begging you… I loved Spencer and Oka… I know you did too but… please Conner, this is too dangerous… please Conner… please listen to me… I loved them both too… in upset too… but I'm just trying to protect you… please understand that… this guy is a bad person, but I think he has more bad people… I can't let you go after them like that, on some kind of big murdering spree… please Conner… just understand that for me… just listen to me… trust me, I'm just trying to keep you safe… I love you Conner... I don't need any more people getting hurt... please... -Caroline
June 27, 2416 So... huh, I don't really know where to begin, a lot, and I mean a lot, has happened... Asterisk told me he liked me, which led to Conner getting mad at him, and me (I think?) for a little bit, because he thought something happened between us which isn't true, and he knows that now but I guess earlier he thought that... whatever, it's behind now. I think Asterisk knows what he did and knows why Conner was upset, and now it's over. Anyways, my soon to be husband Conner (how cute is that?) and I have been doing well... Conner is still sad though, as am I, for Spencer and Oka... I put a cute little framed picture of the four of us in our bedroom, still saddens me to look at it... but I'm also happy for all the amazing times we had together, and the two of them had together... Ugh, I loved them so much, it's hard to see them go, so sudden, so fast, I watched Oka die, over Spencer's body. No, I can't keep bringing that image back up... dang-it AI brain why are you so good at remembering things? I went out yesterday to try to buy something cute for Conner, and I bought him some heart-shaped chocolate box thing like he got me a long time ago... Conner always says how he thinks he's so lucky to have found me, which I guess means we are both lucky, because I'm lucky to have found him too... he loves me so much and I love him too. I don't see a lot of couples in this area, kinda saddens me. There are a lot of sweet people out there. Conner and I went to M'kali to tell her the big news about us... she's still as sweet as ever, always trying to make people happy, kinda like I try to! I dunno if I do good but... oh well, I try! Ya so, honestly even though a lot of bad things have happened lately... I'm happy things are starting to look good again, ya know? Alright, that's all. Seeya later diary... ha, I'm such a nerd. -Caroline
July 2nd, 2416 Woohoo, new month! Alright so not much interesting to write about but I kinda gotta write fast because Conner is gonna be home soon and I made him dinner so I'm gonna try to make this quick. Basically nothing much has happened lately, spent most of yesterday with Conner, just sorta like cuddling and that sorta thing I guess... I went to Mud for a tiny bit, hung out with Jesse and some other guy named uhhh, I dunno how to spell it but it's pronounced like 'You-know' or something. They both are pretty cool, I guess. Jesse is pretty nice, and 'You-know' also seems nice... kept asking me a lot of questions about love and stuff, like he didn't understand it or something? It's ok I could go on and on explaining about love and stuff... because it's just the most beautiful thing! Haha no but really... I love... love! I dunno what I'd do without Conner and luckily I think he feels the same about me ( I hope ! ) So we are always spending time together and I just love it, ya know? There's something really magical about it all... I can't describe it. I hope Conner never leaves me... I don't think he will but... just the thought of that hurts to think about... I guess I should just not think about it because I don't think it's ever gonna happen Then I also hung out with Omega and Star for a little bit, that was fun, we went t- uh oh Conner is here! Time for dinner and cuddle. Goodbye piece of paper! -Conner's little Carrie (I'm sorry I had to)
July 9th, 2416 Oh my god... this fucking hurts... no, fuck... I need to start back, haven't written in a bit. I hope I don't mess up writing, I pretty much can't see out of one eye. First, I started having these weird little things where I started spacing out really /really/ badly. It kept getting significantly worse, until I started having weird visions... well come to find out, I have visions of my old family. It's really strange, actually. A bunch of people you don't know treating you like family. I figured out what my mom and dad look like, and my two sisters. Hannah is younger than me, and Elena is younger than Hannah. I'm 22, Elena is 18, but I don't know what Hannah is... somewhere in between... Anyways, uhhh, next... ah yes, I am pretty convinced that Ernal hates me again. And it's my fault. I guess he decided to like, run away for a while. Of course, I care about Ernal, a /lot/... I mean, not in the way I used to but like, the guy pretty much saved my life, made me like, who I am... helped me with all the android stuff... so like, I can't not care about him, you know? He's really important to me... he always has been, even if we've had like, times where he's made me really /really/ mad... like the time he told me Conner deserved someone better than me and that maybe it'd be easier to find someone less crazy than me once Conner finally left me... god that made me... infuriated. Anyways, I text him wondering where he went. He finally tells me and I go. Just trying to make sure he's in a safe place. Now, I didn't mean to like, go in his weird tower thing... but then in the fog I stumbled my way off of like, a 10 foot drop, and lost my phone so I couldn't get back to my ship, and his tower was right there and I was freezing so I had to go in... he was mad, like he didn't show it much but, I know, he was mad... at me... again... and it's all my stupid fault. Well he let me warm up by a fire, where I spaced out again but chose not to tell him because for whatever reason me talking about my android stuff always seems to lead to him getting upset... I left, found my phone, and some Hylotl guy buried in snow with no translator and his eyes frozen over. I took him to Mud, and he seems better now. Still can't see but he can walk and he has a translator. Ummm... next, Conner went back to the beach house to get something, and I told him I'd be there in a few minutes. When I finally show up there's a giant gun on the table out in front of the house. I get a little panicked and rush inside, only to find Conner and some blonde girl standing on the balcony of our room looking out to the ocean talking about something. I say 'Conner?' which causes them both to quickly turn and look. That blonde girl was Elena, my little sister. Hannah and I got kidnapped, and Elena has been looking for us for the past three months. It was pretty, amazing actually. We talked for a while, not much happened, introduced her to Jesse and I guess they have some weird thing between them now... Elena seems a bit... mature for her age, if you know what I mean, diary... now we have to find Hannah. I surprised Conner with a new little farmhouse with the rest of my parents money they left to me in case I came back... wow they left a lot, I still am convinced they are like, super rich. I haven't asked Elena yet. God, the farmhouse is nice. Not like, the house is nice, or the farm, or the view... but just, the isolation. Just like, after everything that happened, like what happened with Ernal... I can just kinda, run back there and be alone with Conner... speaking of Ernal and Conner... I still think Ernal is weird about Conner and I liking eachother for /whatever/ reason... like seriously, why!? We love eachother, more than anything, (or at least I know I love him!) and like, Ernal still says weird stuff about it every once in a while. Whatever, too much Ernal drama for one diary. Next, apparently Upside got like... destroyed today. I wasn't there but, I can see some of the affects. Apparently the mayor guy of Upside got killed, which I'm sure makes that Blaze girl (I think she leads the ref camp, right?) and Ernal super paranoid. I talked to Omega though, who's always been a good friend of mine. His home, and one of his stores (are they the same building, I wonder?) got destroyed, like completely. I feel really bad for Omega, I think he said he had some place to stay, but I still feel bad. I don't know much other people who mainly went to Upside though so... I never went there really, place always scared me. And now, the pain, all over my fu- my face... and what's making one of my eyes stop working... let's start from the beginning, shall we? So I go sit at Mud, and Solar shows up, all dim and sad. He leans on the wall, and I ask him what' wrong. And guess who I get to hear more news about? ASTERISK... that's who. I guess he's been acting really weird and depressed. ( Which I guess is my fault because Asterisk decided to ask me if I loved him when he already knew I was with Conner... and of course, I said no. ) Anyways, now I get worried that the guy's gonna do something bad to himself. Solar decides to spike that fear by running off saying that something is wrong, so I go to Asterisk's ship... The sight I saw upon going downstairs actually scared me. Asterisk was sitting in the corner, leaning on the wall, with a gun in one hand and a PDA in the other... and Solar sitting next to him... both are very very dim, and when I ask 'Asterisk, what are you doing?' neither of them respond. It literally took me shaking Solar's shoulder to get him to say one word... so I go between the two, get down on my knees so Asterisk and my face are level. I ask him what's wrong, why he's doing this... he starts to say things like 'I can't keep doing this anymore' and that sorta thing. Finally I decide this is probably about to get bad, so I try some disarming thing I saw in a movie, which actually worked, quite well. I give the gun to Solar and he runs upstairs crying, which I didn't see because I turned back to look at Asterisk. I try to tell him that like, he needs to move on and live a normal life and enjoy it, try to cheer him up but also tell him that this needs to stop. Blah blah blah, after a while, he starts being agreeable, which I thought was a good sign! Turns out the little fuck tried, and succeeded, at tricking me... he asked me where Solar went, and I turn around. I get the most sinking, heartbroken feeling as I feel the gun I had hidden on my backside get pulled right away from me... I turn around, only to get a giant splatter of hot plasma all over my fucking face... Asterisk shot himself in the face with my gun... Solar came to help, Asterisk is now in the hospital... Oh my god... it hurts so bad... there are literally like... holes, in my face, where you can see the android stuff underneath... somehow I got the plasma away, but there are still holes on my face. Conner like, tried to help, god love him but I don't know that he actually did much anything. I love him too, more than anything, it was so sweet (and painful) while he was cleaning the things but like... I don't think he did much except maybe get the extra hot plasma away somehow. There are, five, no, six holes on my face. Two on my left cheek, one on my right, one on my neck, one on my forehead, and one bordering my eye, which has very nicely fucked up my vision in that eye. It still hurts, so bad. It feels like a bunch of knives are jammed into my face. I could try to like, shut down my pain stuff but like, that seems dangerous, in case it gets worse. So now I am pretty much sitting on a couch in an otherwise void of furniture house in the middle of nowhere ( the farmhouse ) staring into a firepit, trying to write in this diary... I'm so like... emotionally drained. I'm just gonna go. I can't like, write anymore with this pain. And my eye keeps messing up, it took my like, an hour to write all of this. -Carrie
July 29th, 2416 So it's been 19 days since my last entry… I don't really… know what's wrong with me… there's something wrong… I feel so… sad. All the time, so so sad… I'm drowning in some kind of river of tears. Is… is that bad…? It's like… I know I'm sad a lot, I have periods where I'm happy again, but I continue to be sad… is… is this like, an AI thing? I keep getting depressed, so sad… so suddenly disinterested in everything, thinking these insane thoughts… Conner makes me happy, but when I'm not with him… something is just, wrong. Is something wrong with me…? I just want to be the cute happy girl that people used to tell me I was… I feel like I'm fighting some kind of uphill battle with myself… when Conner is around, he helps me up… but when he leaves, I keep slipping, sliding further into this sadness… Conner can't keep up with it, every time I slip I slide further than I ever have before… what happens when I slide to the bottom, drown in my own tears…? I don't know what's wrong with me right now… but something is wrong… am I gonna be ok…? Please… god… just tell me I'm gonna be ok… please… someone tell me I'm gonna be ok… someone… anyone… I feel like I'm slipping again… I feel like I'm fading again… am I gonna be ok…? Please god… please Conner… please M’kali… please Elena… please Jesse… please Star… please Omega… please Noa… please Kahlua… please Nihili… please Yury… please Britton… please La’ne… please Kade… please Youeno… please Kandi… please Vector… please D’arc… please Nano… please Ashley… please Volare… please Aste- no… please Solar… please Ern- no… Ernal… why the hell do I keep coming back to you… I just… what did I do to you Ernal…? Why do you seem so upset with me all the time…? We hang out one day and you're happy and the next day you're upset with me about something… I just wanna be friends with you again like we used to be… can we just be friends again…? Is that too much to ask…? Did I do something wrong… can you just tell me what I did wrong…? Just… any of my friends… even if I didn't write you down… please… my family… mom… dad… Elena… Hannah… Conner… I… I wish Spencer and Oka were still here… help me… please… please… what… what's wrong with me… why am I not happy… help me… -Caroline… …or… is that even… am I even Caroline anymore…? What was that thing that… that came out of me… what was that monster that… tried to attack Conner… what… what was that monster… who am I…? Am I even Caroline anymore… That… red eyed monster… that tried to kill Conner… Turned back to that… light blue eyed thing… Me… Am I that monster…? What is that thing inside of me… My eyes go red… I get angry… I say these… these hateful things… What is that…? What am I...? Who am I...? -Carrie…
August 3rd, 2416 (a bit late, I know) I'm so stupid… what was I thinking… after what happened… I left Conner… no, I didn't like… break up with him or anything… I just… I thought I was making his life miserable… and I didn't wanna do it anymore… so I went to my parents farm house and left him a giant note… Kandi and Youeno came over to check on me… I could tell Youeno was scared of me… which breaks my heart… I don't wanna be scary… but they were both still so nice to me, they're good people. Good friends. I love my friends, and I love Conner… Conners not my friend, he's more than that, he's special… how could I leave him…? Kandi and Youeno went to my ship with me, we had a little party, it made me happy. Then Jesse came over too, he's so nice, kinda quiet at times, but nice. I feel so bad, Elena isn't around much, so I don't think Jesse gets to see her that much… But anyways, after a while, the three of them convinced me to call Conner… thank god for that. I was so scared to call him, I was afraid he would hate me after what I almost did… but you know what he said to me? He told me… he understood, he wasn't mad, he told me ‘how could I ever stop loving you Carrie’… It made my heart feel better again. It made me so happy, so overjoyed. He makes me feel so warm and happy and loved. I hope to god I make him feel the same way. We went and hung out and snuggled after, it was great. I wanna make you happy Conner… I wanna make you feel warm and loved… I hope I do… you tell me that you want me to find another lover after you die and… I don't want to. You completed my life, there's nobody else you can make me happy like you do, and you'll still make me happy even when you die… -Caroline Update… Conner and I are hanging out a lot now, like… spending entire days just with eachother. He truly loves me and I can't describe how amazing that is. He stopped me from having a panic attack, twice. Also, my family is very… weird… about me… I realized how sensitive I am about being like… not human. And my family almost treats me like I'm not… me… makes me so sad… I'm sorry mom and dad… -Caroline
August 11th, 2416 Well that was... adorable. So I met this guy Xander, or... Xhiux I guess his name is? Purple Avian, cool feathers, etc. We hung out for awhile, nice guy. Then a few days later, I get a distress beacon in the same area as my parents house, from a girl named Azara, red feathers, really pretty... she was all cut up and hurt like Xander was, and couldn't remember anything... reminded me of early... me? hahaha... so, I tell Xander about this girl and like, within two minutes he showed up at my door, knocking hard... I had the Azara girl staying with me, because she had nowhere else to stay. This Xander guy bursts in the second I open the door, looking like, super rushed and anxious, moving up the stairs, until he found the girl, I guess the girl was like, his long lost wife or girlfriend or something? It was just so adorable... so adorable... I will never forget (like always) the looks on their happy crying faces, so happy to see eachother... it was so adorable but like, then umm, they were cuddling for a few, and then he carried her back to his ship I guess. I dunno what it is with me, those two, Spencer and Oka, I like... I just love love! Love is the best thing ever <3 I hope everyone in the whole wide world finds the perfect love... just like I did But anyways, it reminds me of me and Conner a little, I was scared and couldn't remember anything, and he made me feels so safe and warm and happy. I just wanted to talk about that, that's all! Ok, seeya diary, have fun gathering more dust friends! -Caroline
October 12th, 2416 Surprise surprise diary, Carrie B is back! I haven't written in this thing in soooooo long. Wow, a lot, and I mean a lot has happened since last time. I don't have much troubles with Conner anymore, we live together and are super happy all the time. We adopted a five year old, a little blonde girl named Holly Mathews. She's so adorable! Umm, I'm having another baby coming as well! (Don't ask me how it works, everyone does and I still don't know!) But anyways, ya, everyone asks me how I can have a baby, which to be honest makes me feel really uncomfortable! But I don't know how it works with my robotic-ness anyways. I met Conner’s parents finally. Boy, that was rough. Basically, Conner's mom was very abusive to Conner but brainwashed him into thinking that it was his father all along. His mom abused Conner, cheated on his father, and was an awful wife and mother overall. Conner’s dad in the other hand, is so sweet! We got him out of the hospital, and he's just been the nicest guest ever since! He has been taking Holly out to special places to eat, and always says and does nice things for Conner and I! To sum it up, Conner's dad is a sweetheart, and Conner's mom is an asshole. My other sister who got kidnapped, Hannah, is finally back out of the lab, and is doing really well now! She actually seems like, pretty normal. I think she might be on some medications, but I'm not sure. Elena and Jesse and doing wonderfully! I forget if I've ever talked about Jesse before but he's my sister, Elena’s boyfriend. (And like my best friend) He's super duper nice and really sweet, and makes Elena super happy! It's really funny, actually. Ever since Elena’s old boyfriend passed away about a year ago, she went kinda crazy. She kept saying these insane guys who were total jerks to her, but now that she is finally dating such a sweetheart guy like Jesse, she's been doing so well! I'm super happy for those two. My mom, Christina, she's doing well. She really likes Conner, and she means a lot to Conner, now that he doesn't really have a mother. My dad, Ryan, is uhh… well I don't much know what to say about my dad. He's never around. Always gotta be doing business stuff. But, he hasn't talked to Conner that much, and barely talks to Hannah and me. I think he's afraid of us after we got out of the laboratory. I haven't talked to my friends much until just recently… I finally got back on the IM and talked to some of them. One of my friends is having a baby as well! I didn't even know, but wow! Isn't it so great? I mean I'm already a mother, and Holly is my kid, of course, but we only met Holls a few months ago, I never got to like, hold her as a baby or anything like that, so it'll be really fun having baby I think. Anyways, I talked to a few other friends, planning on talking to some more today! I still hung out with a few people. Mainly Katherine (or Kandi, as more know her), Youeno and Jesse. Sadly, Kandi and Youeno broke up, but it at least sounds like it was a decision both of them made so at least none of them are super sad! So basically, life is good, and I'm super happy. Conner and I have had our problems, but we're gonna work through them. We're married, we're parents, and we're best friends, and we're gonna do this whole life thing together. And if my friends need help, I'll always be there for them. Life went so quickly from being an awkward nerdy girl to being married, and almost a mother of two, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I love this stuff, it makes my life feel normal, it makes me feel human, like I really, actually feel human, so much so to the point where I forget I'm not most of the time. Life is just wonderful, and I hope it is for everyone else too. -Love, Caroline
December 23rd, 2416 Well, it's been a very long time. Christmas is almost here, and it looks like I'll be spending it alone... well, relationship wise. It's official, Conner and I are over. Did I want the break up? No. Conner found love with another woman, and he says that I ruined our relationship. Depression, which Conner prevented, is now eating me alive. I'm not mad... just sad. He's my best friend, he gave me so many happy memories... we have two beautiful children... but, his love for me is gone. That's all. -Love, Caroline Berchstone Sham
December 30th, 2416 Almost a new year, almost a new beginning. Maybe I am desperate, but after being single for a little bit, and after Conner being single for a little bit, he did some bad things, but he's come back to me, and he genuinely seems to have come back for me, genuinely he seems to have changed… and if he has changed, I want him back. I know my friends, my family, they all think I'm an idiot, but I'm lost without Conner, he's the love of my life… I need him. In other news, my sister Elena is depressed, and my other sister, Hannah, hasn't come home in two days and won't answer her phone, and now we're all beginning to panic. She just got news that her family, (she's adopted, dont know if I've said that before and I'm so lazy to look) who she hasn't heard from in over 7 years, were found dead on their ship. Well, mostly… her parents were found dead, and her little sister is missing. God, I hope she didn't go after them… I hope she comes back… my parents are worried sick. -Love, Caroline
January 3rd, 2417 A new year, a new beginning. Wow, if someone told me that I'd be writing in my diary all the way through 2417, I'd say they're crazy. If someone told me that my diary would save my relationship, I'd say they're even crazier. Basically, Conner left me just before Christmas. Of course, me being the super plan-ahead girl I am, I've had his presents for like… months. So of course, even though we're broken up, all of my presents for him are super lovey and romantic. Well, my presents included this diary, and a few journals I packed full of lovey stuff about him… apparently when he finally saw this, he claims it just "melted his heart" with love. I guess that's what made him want me back, because he said it made him realize how much I cared for him. Thank you, little diary. So even though we are in our early twenties, Conner and I are taking care of a teenager now. She's my adopted sister's long lost sister, who she never knew existed… We had to do it, she lost her entire family, and Hannah is in college and can't take care of her right now. Her name is Kate, she's a great kid. Poor Conner is gonna start feeling outnumbered, girls to boys in this house is 3:2 right now. Holly is doing good, but she has a lot of nightmares and stuff, which is sad. Baby Conner is still just a little chubby ball of joy, so adorable… my little chubster… even though we're a weird family, it's perfect to me… it'll always be perfect to me… -Love, Caroline
