Dear Diary, why do people even write that? It's not like you can read, Diary. You're just a thing, you don't have eyes. Or a brain. Sorry, Diary. Also, sorry for not writing to you a lot this year. I totally forgot you existed due to all my responsibilities hahaha anyway.. Today something AWFUL happened! Okay, I know you don't like bad news but come on man. I haven't given you bad news since phase 2 education. Okay, so. I received a call from a Man asking me to treat his family and himself to a teeth check up. Of course, I accept the job and beam on over to his planet. His planet was very cold, everything was frozen over. I had to go back up to put more clothes on, there was a blizzard I think. So i go back down and enter his old, scary looking cabin. At the moment I was 10000% sure he was a serial killer or something. I went in anyway. Okay, I know that was dumb and I would never do that again. Anyway, his house was empty. empty shelves, empty fridge. He asks me to start with his teeth while his family prepared for their turn, so I did. He's got MAJOR MALFUNCTIONS in his mouth. Anyway, that wasn't the worst part. I did as much as I could for his poor teeth and gums and get ready for the rest of his family. He tells me they are waiting for me in the other room, so I follow him into the room. I see four people lying down on one huge bed. At this moment, I knew something was wrong. I followed the man to them. Sue Me! He told me to proceed. I look over the people and GUESS FREAKING WHAT-- THEY WERE CORPSES . I was really terrified. I stared at them for a while and they were so disgusting. After a while, I decide that I should proceed. He probably would murder me if I didn't. So I do, It was gross. I feel like I defiled the bodies. I pretend to do things to their teeth and tell him that their teeth are fine and do not need much treatment. He seemed happy with that and let me go without a knife on my back and with a purse full of cash. So yeah, that was my day yesterday. Awful. I went home immediately and decided to take a nap. To improve the mood, I decided to browse for some jokes online and sent them to my friends. What do you give to a sick bird? A Tweetment! Why did the crow stand on a telephone pole? He had to make a long-distance caw! Ernal Doesn't get the one about the telephone pole. He doesn't know what telephone poles are. Poor Ernal. Kahlua though, he gets it. Hmm. Oh yeah, dudes have been really weird lately. Conner and Alex, they've been strange. Crying and Bawling all day and night. Whatevs, I think I'll take a break from humans and dentistry calls this week. I downloaded new cop movies online. Daring Duncan II - Calzone's revenge, The Beat, Hot Buzz. Very excited to see them! I'm shopping for high quality movie watching equipment today and some snacks. This week ought to be gooood. Okay, I'm gonna go have breakfast now, Diary. Time for you to go to bed. Bye bye! Love, M'kali
A photo, stickered onto the paper. It's M'kali as a child, frowning. Diary! Hi! So yeah I wasn't supposed to write again soon because not much happened in the span of twenty minutes but then I saw this photo of us as kids. I found it in one of those old lunchboxes I had when I was smaller. Anyway, look at you! You were brand new when that photo was taken and mom was like, "why are you still up, huh? You've got education tomorrow!" and I was so excited to write on your pages but she wouldn't let me cause it was my bedtime already so that should explain why I was frowning. I miss that blanket though, they don't make em like they used to these days. Anyway, back to business. Love you plenty, Diary! Bye!
Dear Diary, when will you write back to me? I always always write to you. Why won't you write back?? Just kidding. I know you don't have arms and fingers but I also know you love me so much. So that's good! You're just there always to listen to me because you don't have legs and can't run away and therefore have no choice but to listen haha! Okay, no more joking about your lack of body parts. I know it offends you but I'm your best friend so I can kinda do the offensive jokes. ANYWAY, down to business. Half of yesterday was pretty simple. Breakfast, jogging, jogging to a food place to kinda just void the exercise I just did, snack shopping. It was pretty great to enjoy those things without having to worry about CREEPY DEAD PEOPLE TEETH. Anyway, evening came on and I was about to get the rest of my things from my Mud home and guess who was there? Alex. Just when I told you that I would be taking a break from human interaction. He invites me over to watch a scary movie in his place and me being the BEST person there ever was, I accept his invitation. It was pretty awkward for me throughout the experience because we watched in his bedroom, and it was kinda strange. Nothing happened though, I made sure of that! So don't worry your nonexistent head about that, Diary. The movie was really good though. There were cops too and they kicked ass in there. I didn't Daring Duncan II - Calzone's Revenge though. I might do so today instead. Anyway, after the first Boy Trouble, another one arises! Conner wanted to talk to me so I finally accept. His brother responds to my text telling me that Conner's busy. I told Spencer (Conner's Brother) that I had donuts and maybe he could bring it up to Conner instead with my regards. Spencer meets up with me and tells me to go with him. I thought he was busy, but now he wants me to come with him? Okay. I go with him. Conner's got this huge house, pretty awesome, with a pool. I walk inside excited to meet him when I find him lying down on the floor with his girlfriend crying over him. WHY IS THE WORLD LIKE THIS? Can't they just chill out? Why'd they have to go around making all these nonsense drama stuff. It's just weird. That kinda stuff belongs onscreen, dude. Spencer tells me and Caroline to go outside while he sorts these things out with Conner. I leave the box of donuts I carefully picked out by the counter before I left. Talked to Caroline a bit, apparently Conner's upset about something. Not sure what, though. Probably got some leftover teenage angst in his 20's. Conner needs to see a therapist. Anyway. Skip the boring drama stuff. Time to get into the good, fun stuff! Why did the little bird get in trouble in school? He was caught cheeping in his test! Sent that one to Kahlua and Ernal, they liked it! I'm so proud because Ernal doesn't usually get my jokes but that one passed. I deserve a medal! Do they sell medals on starnet? I'll have to check, cause I really want one. Okay, so here's today's plan. Lunch, Movies, a late-night stroll somewhere cold and has trees. Hopefully I'll get to come up with new jokes too, Ernal and Kahlua seem to enjoy them because they haven't told me off yet. Okay, I'll go take a shower now. Time for you to get back to bed, Diary! See you soon, I love you! -M'kali
Dear Diary, I just got home from a camping trip with a friend! The planet was absolutely remarkable! The grass was pink, dude! Also the trees! But something even BETTER happened. Remember Fra'Vhn, my parrot? No? Well, let me remind you. HE WAS THE BEST MOST ADORABLE BIRD EVER. I even taught him how to say, "What?". Okay, I didn't teach him that. So what if that's how he really sounds like? He was still adorable. Anyway, he died when I was around twelve or something and I was SUPER heartbroken because I wasn't able to tell him goodbye and that i loved him so much. He died on the day I finally bought a new house to keep him in, too. It was purple and it was very large. I was devastated to arrive home with mother telling me that my dearest parrot had passed away. Anyway, guess what? I SAW HIM AGAIN YESTERDAY!! On the camping trip, I climbed a large pink tree. Resting on one of the branches sat a little green bird. Very much like Fra'Vhn. For some reason, I could feel some sort of connection to it. I shimmied along the branch and greeted the bird. It climbed on my arm when I poked it. It's like, he knew me. I talked to it for a while and it seemed like the little bird was listening. He hopped on up to me and rubbed his little cute face against me, I was pretty sure it was him. He was back on my arm, just like little Fra'Vhn used to do. He looked at me so lovingly, I couldn't help but cry when I finally said my goodbyes and set him free. He said goodbye too, I know it. The way he left my grasp, It was just so special. I'm so happy I got to say goodbye and sent him off properly. Oh dear, look at me! Ruining your pages with my tears. Sorry about that, Diary! Did that hurt? The rest of the trip was fun, we watched a movie and the bed roll I slept in was very comfortable. What did the sushi say to the Bee? Wassabee? Who protects the Queen Bee? Her Hub-Bee! I didn't get to send those masterpieces to my very supportive audience, I'll make sure to do so later. I'm eating some kind of burger right now, it's pretty delicious. I asked the Fishfolk cook to drawn a happy face with the sauce, and now i have a three-eyed happy face smiling back at me. Such a good burger. So today, I plan to just relax after working hours! I've been unlocking so much clothes for my holographic character lately, he looks fly as fuuuudge, diary. Unlocked a bunch of brand new dances too, he's adorable. I'm actually making him dance right now, can you see? Of course not, you don't have eyes! HAHA. Sorry! Okay, I'll update you tomorrow, Diary! Sleep well, sugar pie honey bunch! Love, M'kali
Dear Diary, Yesterday was alright! Love, M'kali OH SNAP! You thought that was all? Gosh, of course not! SO. The past few days were pretty great! Two (Or was it three?) days ago, I tried to do a little bit of baking! I baked a bunch of munchkins, bermudas, and other stuff from Mother's old cookbook. It was pretty fun, too! I did a lot of flipping and flattening and rolling and squeezing, it felt like I was in some kind of baking show. I can't wait to do it again! Meanwhile, amidst all my fun, Conner just comes to ruin my day with his absurd questions and assumptions. Why does he even care about my sex life? Which, by the way, has been calm, Diary. Like he's got a girlfriend and everything and he just goes and asks these weird things. Jeepers Creepers boy, beat the meat or something. Anyway, that kinda stuff is bad so I kinda sent him away until he stops being so dramatic and weird. Ernal and Kahlua have been ignoring my texts for a while, I was afraid they were sick of my jokes already. Turns out they were just busy or something! Well, considering how Ernal's the mayor and Kahlua's wrestling with multiple jobs, I should've expected that! Ernal finally replied yesterday, it turns out they needed my jokes more than ever! Kahlua's been having a bad time, according to Ernal, so I send them this. How do crows stick together in a flock? Velcrow! It's pretty good I think. Ernal certainly enjoyed it, but Kahlua says he's rather busy. I hope he sees it and makes him feel better! Oh, A special thing happened yesterday! Ernal invited me over to his office for a surprise! Can you guess what it is? Nope! You've got no mind to process these thoughts. But I still love you, Diary. Anyway, the surprise was a book titled "The Poppy Grove"! Ernal says his friend Tlaloc (?) wrote it a long time ago. Unfortunately, this fellow has passed away. Rest in peace, friend. So according to Ernal, this book is about Mud! I haven't read it yet, but I skimmed through it last night before going to bed. It looks really beautiful. I'll read it while i grab myself some breakfast today! Ernal's such a dear, no? Finally, the last update for today: I bought a new dress! It's really pretty. I was afraid it would look awful in person, since I bought it on a low-rep store online, but it worked out! Fits me perfectly, and it came with a head band and shoes. Kinda miss shopping for clothes with mom though. I miss how she's like "No! Are you crazy? Look at the price of that thing." I think I'll visit my parents this weekend, force them to go out with me. Alright, it's time to get some breakfast. Time to give Ernal's lovely book a read! See you soon, Diary. Love Love, M'kali
Hello Diary! It's a-me, M'kali! So the past week has been such a blast, the badminton tournament's semis took place in a planet called Frafszii and I went against a Hylotl lady. She was good, but not good enough! I kicked her ass butt! All that practice really paid off and i made it to the Finals next week after beating the other folks that thought it would be a good idea to go against me, M'kali W'Valkri, Humble dentist, BADMINTON GOD! Joking aside, I did pretty good there. I did sprain my ankle when I tripped and fell down the stairs last night, so I'm resting for two days before resuming my intense training. Hmmm. Oh yeah, I bought a bunch of new stuff for me to wear on the awarding ceremony. I'll show you a photo later, diary. I'm confident with my skills right now, I think I could actually win this one this year. My puppy's growing up really fast! Just a month ago, he was a tiny little yapping cutie pie. Now, he's still tiny and yapping but his fur has grown into a little coat and his face looks a bit more enthusiastic. My baby grows so fast. Oh, I also made a new friend during the tournament! His name is Thriz'al, he's really funny and he brought his puppy to the venue too. We spent the break with our doggies, it was really fun! His doggie was a sleepy little fatty and it was such an adorable sight watching my little one bounce around him. Thriz'al made it to the finals, too! I can't wait to see him and his doggie next week. Anyway, I've got to go make some breakfast. I'll write to you later, Diary! Love love
a photo of M'kali holding up a badminton racket, smiling brightly. Hello, Diary! Guess who? Me!! So today's been really fun, I did a free checkup for kids at the clinic today and my my, a lot of chirping little folk came by! Some human visitors brought in their unwilling young too, which is good because I've not been able to practice on human teeth, tongue, and gums lately and I needed to keep on practicing to stay good at what I do. Although one child decided to bite my hip to 'test out' her newly treated teeth, I'd say that little event was a success! It was a busy day, so I wasn't able to do some badminton practice today. I'll make up for it tomorrow though. One thing concerns me: I haven't heard from any of my friends recently. Alex, Conner, Caroline, Ernal, Kahlua, Jaycee, Yury. They must be busy these days, I hope they're doing well! Mother and Father must be worried about me too, and I really miss them and my baby brother. Sit tight, folks! I'll get home soon. I just gotta wait for Atlas and S'talai to figure the thingies out and blam! Homeward. Sure hope they figure it out soon though haha, I'm a little bit worried too. A little bit may be an understatement haha. Truthfully, I would like to just cry all day but that's not very productive so I think it's good I'm getting to do all these things while I wait. Boy, my mother is going to be really upset with me when I get back. I'm at least a couple hundred days late for dinner, haha. Anyway, I'm considering starting a little badminton school here on Mud. I think the little ones are going to have so much fun, I'll ask Ernal if I could use the spot where me and Yury played several days ago. When I get the go, I'll start working on the posters! I'm very excited for this, I'll have a little badminton club with enthusiastic peeps. That's all for now, Diary! Time for me to 'catch some Z's'! That's slang for getting to bed, apparently. So, I'm off! Catch you later pal! M'kali
OH MY GOSH. Diary, it's me, Bronze Medalist M'kali! That's right, I won a medal! The tournament was really intense, there were some people with like, brands and stuff on their uniforms and they looked really threatening. They even have their own audience and stuff, and I felt a lot of pressure whenever I heard them cheer for my opponents. I did my best and managed to score a bronze medal for myself! I'm so happy, I beat those silly branded uniform people! I'm currently on a train back to the hotel where I'll be staying for three more nights. I'm thinking of rewarding myself by extending my stay a day or two, hehe. Food here is really good, by the way. The breakfast buffets are my favorite, there's such a huge selection of delicious food. This place also has a pool, and I usually have it all to myself so that's good. Oh yeah, the silver medalist Velix is coming with me to the hotel tonight. She's really nice, and we decided to treat ourselves to some shopping and dinner after we go for a swim later. Anyway, Velix is back from the bar with some mocha. I'll write to you in a bit, Diary! See you soon! Love, Mkali
