Camtick's Public Journal

Greetings, and welcome to my journal which I write on this contraption they call a "desktop". It is taking me some time to get used to this odd board with squares you press to make letters, but I have all the time in my non-organic life to type for as long as I need. I do not like how flat and uncharacteristic the words are on this "display", but I highly doubt anyone other than Glitch could read my handwritting. Such a majestic art wasted...

I'll tell you about my hand writing in the next post. For now, I want to share my findings that I have compiled throughout the past few weeks regarding organic habits, nature and personality. My end goal is to achieve a more "life like" personality and my unreachable goal is to become an organic. As a Glitch, to transform into a completely different species is seemingly impossible, but I was once told that "you will strive to reach your goals, so set it so far ahead that is will take you the end of time to reach, so you may forever better yourself in strive for it". This does come from a Glitch Wizard that blew himself up mixing chemicals some time later, however, but it's still highly inspiring.

I have learned in my time of being in the stars and on the planet Mud that Organics, unsurprisingly to you, are highly unique and vary person-to-person. While it is normal for Glitch to be the same, personality and mind sets are normally predetermined for us when living on HIVE-mind controlled worlds. Each person is molded from past experiences and lessons they have learned, accumulating it all and letting it compile into a complex structure that is built on their base of being to form a unique structure. Meaning, people are really hard to figure out! Beg pardon if my words are confusing to you, I am still trying to figure out how to "dumb down" my dialog and word bank, but this machine is doing a wonderful job of using some sort of wizardry to replace words I type with other simpler words. Anywho, continuing...
With the lesson above, I learned that if I wanted to make myself unique and varied from everyone else, I must research as much personality as possible by socializing with many different types of people. This is dangerous, however, for someone pointed out that in my time of impressionable data collection that is altering my programming and the way I function, that people may have malicious intent to try and teach me things I should not do. One of such was a blonde haired human male whom seemed to be making aggressive romantic advances on me, trying to "by me a drink" and "go to his room for some R&R". I still do not understand what "R&R" is, but I was able to quickly deduce that he was making a sexual advance toward me.

I will tell you now, this unit does not possess functions or components that would stimulate another being, I am a robotic being, we build our children. So please, stop trying to bed random Glitch woman, we are not compatible.

Moving on, I am glad to announce I have learned how to replicate some basic emotions, such as happiness, sadness, anger, excitement and embarrassment. I must say, these "plays" that a woman recommend to me are doing wonders, watching organic thespians act out on stage with such convincing passion for the art that they truly seem to be showing these scripted emotions. I may just try and think of myself as a thespian to try and "act" out these emotions. I have also taken inspiration from Hylotl "Pop Culture" and have learned to manipulate my LED visor display manually, showing two "to the power of" symbols, or these: (^ ^) to show "expression". I use this when I am mimicking happiness and excitement. I have also learned to use forward and backwards slash marks to make a "blushing" effect to use when I am embarrassed or showing modesty. I had such a wonderful time using this mimicry when speaking to the one named M'kali; I truly hope I am spelling her name right. M'kali is a blonde haired white human female whom takes the honorable position as a dentist. We had such a wonderful talk over drinks, I openly shared my ambitions with her, as I do with everyone, speaking openly and happily about my goal to become "alive".

I'm approaching my goal with a blinding rapid speed, I am making so much progress so quickly, but there is still such a long way to go with so much to do that it's scary to think of! I'm hoping to learn so much more, I need to look into other personalities, maybe more negative... It may impact me incorrectly, but I feel that if I do not "look to the darker side of the sphere", that I will not be able to process nor handle such emotions or traits later on. I must learn narcissism, greed, guilt, wrath, lunacy, bitterness and all these other negative traits so I may better avoid them.

That is all for now, and I thank you for reading. Please contact me if you have questions, I have opened a "social media" account on the "web", and I am eager to communicate with people!

-Scribe Maiden Camtick

 

Greetings, cybernetic pages of my own personal journal and all that read it! I have more information for you today!It took my time to gather this information, and I even used it on some test runs by adding it to my personality! I have learned many new expressions, thanks to chat loggings from various sources and some online material from... Oh, what was the forum page called-
"Your Rave Helmet and You, 101 LED Displays."
I was able to learn so much from the page, various expressions I now commonly implement with my reactions and emotions. I will show you some of them below!
(^ ^) (^//\\^) (> >) (o o) (TT TT) (Q Q)
Those are the ones that I most commonly find myself using, anyway. It took me a long time figuring out when was the correct time to be implementing these into emotional displays during conversations, but by watching various recommendations that M'kali gave me. Various screen plays and the sort put on by dedicated thespians gave me wonderful examples of when to display certain emotions. Some of them I have not had the chance to use yet, such as sadness or grief, but I will inevitably find a situation where they will come in handy. In other news, I continued my research on Starnet, and... Well, I think it's about time that I stop relying heavily on Starnet for information. It has been teaching me things that I could very well live my functional life and will never be able to fully wipe from my memory banks. The reason being because I was curious why males of other species were making approaches on me and such, but it was explained to me- as shown above, they were looking for interaction with this unit. Again, I point out the Glitch do not have those parts, why other species think we do I will never fully understand. However, in an effort to understand, I tried to look up the anatomy of other species to try and learn more about them, to understand their behavior and such. While it was working out well, it quickly escalated into... Oh dear, I feel flustered just typing this, but interaction between various species.
By the stars, it looked like they were MURDERING each other for a moment from the noises they were making-
And I still don't understand the productiveness of what they do, or why, but I will CERTAINLY not try and find out, not again! This one learns from their mistakes and makes sure not to repeat them!

In related news, the device I was using seemed to get the wrong impression of what I wanted to see, and was redirecting this one to... Components, add-ons and the such. Stars, what perverted machinery and components I saw! Do people actually make these, is market for such items actually real?!

MOVING ON!

There is a more touchy topic I would like to comment on. This one I have heard of, but not witnessed myself up until recently. The death of an organic being, which tends to be a very messy thing, is a very controversial and touchy topic for most other people, though being from the Glitch kind, where people are really never dead, simply rebuilt and made anew, I understood fully at the time of witnessing this that Organic life is not that forgiving. Such frail things, Organic bodies, so easy to damage and cause death. I remember it was late on Mud, a group of people had gathered on the bridge; the bridge I now work on as a gardener, and watched as a pink haired woman had started to grow aggressive with a crowd. I could not render it all well, seeing how I was sitting back further away from them as to not be drawn into the conflict, but I remember a human female, a frail looking thing with dark hair and a odd set of clothing, being slashed at the throat with a- dare I say, oddly and morbidly beautiful display of red liquid spraying into the air like fine mist. Blood, this is what Organics refer to as blood, the fuel of life that keeps most Organics going. while Glitch have oil, which we keep in constant supply to keep out inner workings functioning properly, we could survive with very little, if no oil for a short time as to seek repairs and to restock. However, blood is much different. I read that after a certain amount of measurable liquid units called "liters", one goes into shock, followed by unconsciousness, followed by death, sometimes skipping a few steps in that order to reach the final outcome. The woman I saw die that night did not go into shock, instead quickly going into unconsciousness and dying. It was at that point I processed that it was best for this one to go fetch the guard force, seeing how the ones there to handle the situation did a horrible job at it. Death, it's something I'm going to have to further research, but this is indeed a very serious topic, one that will not be handled lightly. I must process this carefully to fully understand it, to make sure I truly know the full consequences of death and all the emotions that come with it.

Lastly, ending on a more light-hearten topic, I am doing shopping today for clothing items to decorate myself with. My friend M'Kali told me that it was essential to dress well to "feel good and look good", not quoting her exactly- but that is the basic bare bones of what she meant. I come from a planet where new clothing was meant for noble lords and ladies, and the clothing most people could afford to buy were either discarded clothing from the nobles and rich, or burlap and hemp clothing, In fact, hair displays are not that cheap either. Solid metal and usually very simple, I used to have a simple ponytail until I was gifted a hair style from a dear friend, Lady HammerClank, whom gave me a wonderful display in return for editing her novel she was going to submit to the library and making it much neater. I felt like a new unit after wearing that hair, so much more outgoing and dignified. Will new clothing have the same effect on me? Oh, the things I wonder I can purchase... A ballroom gown maybe? Or a skirt with a blouse? Maybe undergarments- strange things about the undergarments though, some are very frilly and fancy... But, hark me on this- some of them are TRANSPARENT. What good is private clothing if you can just see through it? The Stars and it's people are strange with perverted minds...
The first outfit I will buy will be in person, but I wish to browse right now on the web to see what peeks my interest.

That is about it, I don't have much more to share, other than the smaller topic of me becoming a gardener at Mud. Gardener Maiden Camtick, a charming ring to it if you ask me... if you wish to interact with this unit, you can both do it through mail, or you can come visit me at the bridge, where I will be working for the one named Ernal to keep Mud a lovely place!

-Gardener Maiden Camtick

 

This one is alive, this one is well.
Fear not, I have not been keeping post because so many wonderful things have been occuring to me. new emotions, new outlooks, so many things I can not comprehend. I feel at one with the people around me, I feel the chore of processing emotion and thought slowly easing, becoming more "natural and instinctive". This may be shortcuts my coding is creating, but I like to think I'm making very productive strives.
I have been listening to wonderful music, music that triggers the simulation of joy, comfort and warmth within my synthetic being. I am learning to dance, which is a gateway to many expressive emotions and thoughts, I wish to learn more dances, ones that hopefully will never include a pole.
I have also began to dress better. No longer to I dawn the rags of a simple Glitch, but now a dress of a sophisticated woman. It was M'kali whom opened this way for me, showing me the wonders of looking your best. This one simulated pride, simulated confidence, each day I find myself looking over the statistical odds of things and letting it all happen.

My next goal may be to upgrade my speech box for more complex audio discussions. This one can use her own fine, but is left using prefixes and left somewhat monotone.

Lastly, I finally figured out how to send pictures today! here is one!

A very happy Camtick, smiling at a camera.
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-Gardener Maiden Camtick​