A PDA usually on Shian's person or placed in a drawer near his bed on his ship. The PDA is password protected and contains contacts from the coreworlds, his resume, and of course a personal audio diary. Day One, The Frontier, this is where people go to disappear, run away, make it big or stretch a few social fins. Maybe, just maybe being out here will help me think. Mom gave me some of her instruments and my ex was nice enough to 'lend' me his gun. Of course he expects me to 'repay' him someday. Humans, I swear. I'll never know what I ever saw in that man. Guess sometimes looks just draw you in, the passion of a moment, the--, now I'm sounding very un-hylotl. Damn Larsin for rubbing off on me. Either way, I'm hoping I can start out fresh here. Maybe I'll figure out who I really am out among the stars... Wow, that sounded really cheesy. I just, don't know. I thought I had everything settled. Me and Larsin would move in together, I'd go through the therapy, get the operation, and everything would be amazing. But now, I'm afraid. This is my one and only body. I already look so damn different. 'Half the Fish I ever was' as my father would say. He still won't talk to me, not even a single goodbye... Guess it was disappointing for him to find out that his son felt more like his daughter. Now I just, don't know. I've been taking treatments for four years, and I think I may be stuck looking like this. I just hope it was the right decision... I think I'll let my ship drift for a bit, maybe find an ocean planet. Laying on a beach sounds nice right now. I just hope I have enough fuel to reach civilization.
Day Two, A pretty uneventful day. I used my fuel to fly over places like Kero Kero and Katune, did a few scans but kept to my ship. All the Floran on the radio frighten me. I can't even begin with the troubles Floran gave me back on the core worlds. 'Ssss issss fisssh girly man or many girl? Floran doesssn't underssstand'. It was an absolute nightmare. On the good side of things, I found a post in the Starnet which caught my interest. I'm saving a copy to my PDA, isn't it brilliant? Some sort of insect-like creature. I think. The footage isn't all that great but now I'm really interested in figuring out what exactly is. They said it was luring people into traps. Maybe I can lure it int one of my own. That's, dreaming big though I guess. I'll update tomorrow and see if I've made any leeway with the creature. Or found a nice oceanic planet to settle in and enjoy the sun.
Day Three, What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. No way, no how. I don't click with women. It's never happened before. I mean sure I've always been socially inapt when it comes to talking with girls but they always thought I was weird. So I never just, I never... I like MEN! So why do I suddenly have a crush on her? Not that it's a bad thing. She's, brilliant... Cute.. Has a giggle that makes me want to melt and just flop on the floor like a fish out of water-- terrible damn pun intended. That smile, oh that smile I can't.. I just need to calm down. It can't be a physical thing. Maybe a mental thing? Latent hormonal desires... I have been taking a few small doses of testosterone daily just to try and gain some semblance of masculinity back. It's worked a bit, my fin is longer I feel a bit more 'grrr' I admit. Maybe that's it? The natural animalistic male desire to be with a female? I don't know. I really don't. Oohh but she's... She's... She even called me a he. Everyone mistakes me for a girl at first. EVERYONE! This has just, I don't. Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow. I just need to breath in, breathe out, read through this pamphlet and get a bit of reading in on that book she lent me. On Xenobiology by Gillian Sunwing... Wait, shit, I forgot to ask for some fuel!... And... I wonder who Starton is....
