Greetings men and women of the Antares Sector, I come to you today with an exciting one-time offer! Through a series of unrelated and totally legal events I have come to own a certain Avian named Phillio. He's a charming, hard working young fellow that I just cannot afford to keep around I'm afraid. Luckily enough for you prospective buyers I'm letting him go for the low low starting price of just ten-thousand pixels! Ten-Thousand pixels, you say? Surely that must be a mistake you say? Not true, says I! This hard-working potential slave and or friend is going for the amazing price of ten-thousand pix! Act fast or miss out! Oh, and there's a picture of him below. Interested parties may offer payment here, the slave will be dropped off at a predesignated point once payment is wired for him. -Tarl Fuckin' Hollow
((Bahahahahaha oh Phillio you poor thing you come back and this happens)) //: reply from [email protected] via mobile_device :// I'm in. Where and when. Can he cook?
He can do anything you ask, probably. You'll receive a private message regarding the payment process shortly, do stand by. Edit: This buyer was full of shit, the Avian is still for sale. -Tarl 'Fuckin' yer Mum' Hollow
We trust that you handled this slave with care as to not damage him? What is his physical capabilites? How old is he? - Tony, Representative of Dianthus Cartel
Philio is quite unharmed. He's a young adult in his early twenties and he is of average strength. He can perform moderate lifting and such as necessary. -Tarl 'All up in yer Bitch-Ass' Hollow
Do you care what happens to the slave, sir? Also, do you know if he has any family? - Tony, Representative of the Dianthus Cartel
He has no immediate family in the sector and I wish to find him a safe home for a modest fee, that's all. -Tarl 'Smack the fuckin' taste out yer Mouth' Hollow
Ah. We respect the slave trade and the wishes of the owners to have their pets be satisfied when they leave them. We'll opt out of buying him for manual labor. - Tony, Representative of the Dianthus Cartel
HOLY SHIT MY FRIEND KNOWS THAT PERSON, HAHAHAH OH MY GOD THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS JESUS CHRIST. OH MAN SHE'S GONNA BE FUCKIN PISSED WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT THIS, DUDE. LIKE FOR REAL. YOU PROBABLY FUCKED UP REALLY BADLY, SHE'S GOT DEEP ROOTS. -AN_AGGRESSIVE_FISH6969
So thank you all for dumping him into the snow planet. I hope everyone realizes that I had to thaw him out and put him on an IV Thanks for giving me so much work <~Senior Medical Officer Riko
To elaborate on the doc's statement above; the man has been rescued from where he was dumped on a snow planet, left to freeze. He is currently recovering, and should have no lasting damages to his body. -Felith
Maybe if he wasn't such a horribly boring guest he wouldn't have needed to been dumped off on that tundra. Really, he had it coming and I think a service has been done for the entire sector. -Tarl 'Sensual Carrot Licker' Hollow
THAT'S SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING THIS THREAD IS A BIG FUCKING JOKE OH MY GOD. -AN_AGGRESSIVE_FISH6969
