((Righty-ho. If you care, which you shouldn't, these logs can be found on a terminal on his ship.)) The log begins with something blocking the recorder's lens and the sound of someone fiddling with the recording device. The occasional groan of annoyance and muffled curse is heard until with one the recording shakes as the camera is smacked on the side. After a few moments the object blocking the camera lens is revealed as a man dressed in a tight black suit steps back away from it, revealing a large grey couch in the middle of a decrepit, rusty room. The man plops himself down into the couch and runs a hand across his shaven head before breaking out into a wide smile and offering the camera a double thumbs up. "Hey!" He announces proudly as he greets the camera. "Errr... What's up? Not quite sure how to start one of these so I'll just take it from the top, yeah? The name's Danny. Danny Saint Ives if ya want the full thing, Saint if yer feelin' friendly. Anyways, I'm recordin' these logs so I can release em to the masses once I'm like, famous and have tons of fans and stuff, ya know? Right now, I'm a nobody. I'm gonna level with ya camera and people who see this in the future, I ain't cut out for bein' a nobody." He pauses for a moment to scratch at his nose as he peers at something off screen and smiles. When he begins speaking once more it is no longer directed at the camera but instead whatever it is that has his attention off screen. "Yea... Cut that out bitch . . . No, it's not stupid. Fuck off for like, five minutes right?" He shakes his head before turning back towards the screen. "Ignore that shit-head adoring fans, just a nobody I hang with in my spare time. Now, where was I . . . Right! Like I said, I ain't cut out for bein' a nobody and I'mma get my notoriety one way or another. And I uh . . . Don't know what else to say so I'mma wrap this shit up here folks. So remember! My name is Danny, Danny Saint Ives, and by the time I'm done you're all gonna know my name." He snickers and brings up a hand to wag a finger at the screen as he wraps up his logs. The log ends with Danny arguing with the individual in the background as he walks over to shut down the camera.
The recording starts up with Danny on the same couch as in the previous recording. His face is heavily bruised and his nose is swollen and looks as if it was recently set back into place by someone that didn't quite know what they were doing. He gives the camera a half-hearted wave with one hand and holds up a small pill bottle with the other before he begins to speak. "Right, hey there fans. I'd like to start off by saying I fully endorse..." He spins the label around and squints as he reads it aloud. "Hylotl Homeworld Brand painkil- Oh... Yea, these might not be so easy to get anymore dudes, eighty-six that endorsement. Anyways, mixed fuckin' day, I gotta tell ya. I mean I got this cute Avian dude's number, so that was pretty rad. Hit on a few chicks after that, layed lips on this Order soldier named Blondie, yada yada boring stuff mostly. Uh, my bitchy friend gave me some fly new threads so that was also pretty cool." He snickers and leans forward on the couch before lowering his voice a tad as if pretending to share a secret. "Don't tell nobody but they were hers. I mean, I know they're chick's clothes and all but damn do I rock em, ya dig?" He continues to laugh as he leans back into the couch and takes a moment to collect his thoughts before pressing onwards. "Anyways, if yer wondering about my fucked up lookin' face let me just say this. Fist fights with a Glitch are all fun and shit but uh . . . If he tries to headbutt ya, don't headbutt him back. It hurts. Like, it /REALLY/ fuckin' hurts dudes and ladies. Let's see if there was anythin' else..." He lapses into silence, the only sound picked up on the recorder the tapping of his fingers against his thighs as he thinks over his day. "Ladies clothes, check. Cute dude, check. Floozies, check. Fight, check... Oh, met some soldier-dudes over at some place called Opportunity. They weren't too shit I guess, still pigs though but what the fuck ever, ya know? Anyways adorin' fans, keep it real and remember..." He leans forward once more and smiles nice and suave like for the camera. "I'm Danny Saint Ives, and I'm on my way to the top." He offers a small wave to the camera before picking up a small remote from alongside him on the couch. The last thing recorded is him raising the clicker to aim at the screen before the feed cuts off.
The video opens to Danny sitting on his now heavily stained couch, sipping a glass of Estus and reclining back into the ruined sofa. He holds up a finger to the camera as he raises the bottle of Estus to his lips and quickly downs the last remaining bits before setting the bottle down by his feet and turning back to face the screen. "What it is dudes and dudettes of the Antares Sector and maybe fuckin' beyond, who knows, ye? Anyways . . . Who wants to hear bout /MY/ day? . . . Ye, you do! That's why yer fuckin' here, innit? So let's just fuckin' go down the list, shall we? Dirt-Feet, ya ever heard of him fans? Well if ya have, hands fuckin' off, he's mine now nerds. Ya, been hangin' with him, rocked our first date and shit so that was pretty wicked, not gonna lie. He's pretty cute, he's quiet, and of course he likes me so ye, I'mma hang onto him I think. Alright . . . What else. What else, what else, what else..." He mumbles the phrase to himself repeatedly as he turns away from the screen to gaze up at the ceiling above, trying to remind himself what else what down today. "Umm . . . Might go into this hydroponics business with a friend of mine. She made it sound pretty fuckin' legit and I can use the cash so why not, ya know? Course I gotta find buyers and shit but who ain't gettin' high in this shithole of a sector, ye? Uh, my boo is gonna get me a present apparently, so that's cool too. I mean, it's a little fuckin' soon and shit but I appreciate it and stuff I guess. Uh, got in another fight today. Some Avian dude, shit didn't go his way but whatever. I won, that's what fuckin' matters at the end of the day, innit? So ye, that's about it for tonight folks, was a pretty slow day. I'm Danny Saint Ives, this has been me talking about shit and uh . . ." He hops up from his couch and flashes the camera a double thumbs up. "I'm on my way to the top!" The video ends with Danny turning and scooping up his remote from the couch. He turns, aims it at the screen and click.
The log opens to Danny playing with what appears to be, and shockingly enough is, an unloaded glock on his couch. He waves to the camera with it and clears his throat before beginning to speak. "How's it hangin' my hard workin' brothers and sisters o' the galaxy?" He pauses a moment before nodding sympathetically and continuing on. "Sorry to hear about that. Ye . . . Bad things happen to good people ya know? Well, whatever. 'Nough about you lot, it's Danny's time now, ya dig? So let's see what happened today..." He taps the barrel of the gun against his chin as he thinks it over. "Also, like the piece? I uh, fuckin' used it today so I figured if I used it in the video too I'd look like one o' dose edgey folk people round here seem to love. So uh, tell me how it works? Does I pull off dark and broodin'? Maybe I should add a trenchcoat, or a fedora or somethin'. Fuck it, who knows I'll just uh..." He tosses the gun away onto the couch before turning back to the screen. "I'll do without, ye? Anyways, speakin' of guns I had two, count em, two fuckin' encounters involvin' em today. First one was some cunt-ass bitch of a robit named Free Turdical levelin' some shitty piece at me cause he was witholdin' info from me about Dirty-Butt. I mean, I may not be a saint or whatever . . . Well, whatever ya know what I mean... But I wouldn't withhold info from a fella about his partner almost dyin', that's just shitty, ye? Anyways, hashed it out with him, we both walked away hatin' the other and it felt good. Next thing that happened was me and Dirty chattin' and huggin' fer a bit cause he'd had a shit day but that's personal shit so you don't get to know /JACK SHIT/ for details, ya loyal fucks! Lastly I uh, went to Opportunity with my Sis when some robit dyke came up and chaired me in the back of the FUCKING HEAD!" He spins around to show the jagged gash across the back of his head as he shouts away from the camera. "DO YOU KNOW, HOW FUCKIN' BAD A FUCKIN' CHAIR TO THE GOD-DAMNED HEAD HURTS?! IT HURTS A SHIT-TON, LET ME FUCKIN' TELL YA." He takes a deep breath to steady himself as he swivels back around to face the screen once more. "Well, ye... She did that after I straight up warned her not to fuckin' hit me and she did it anyways. So uh, I pulled out my glock and blew out her android kneecap, cause fair's fuckin' fair, ye? Anyways, after that it was mostly just my head hurting the whole rest of the night and me loungin' around flickin' through nudes on the interwebs so . . . That's all for today folks! I love you all and remember . . ." He pauses and takes a breath before exclaiming proudly. "I'm Danny Saint Ives, and I'm on my way to the top!" He offers the camera a parting wave before grabbing his remote and bringing it up to stop the recording.
The recording begins with Danny pacing restlessly in front of his ashen grey couch, mumbling to himself as he walks for a time before suddenly stopping and turning to face the screen with a hesitant wave. "Ye, hey there fans of all races, shapes and sizes . . . 'Cept the Floran, I know you fucks just wanna eat me so no shout outs for you. Anyways uh . . . Fuck!" He shouts and turns away from the screen for a moment. The silence hangs a while before Danny takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly before turning back to once more face the screen. "Sorry dudes and ladies. That Floran thing wasn't fuckin' cool and I'm kinda fuckin' spazzin' here but I'm tryin' to bust this thing out while I get some shit done, ya know? So talking and thinkin' ye... Uh...." He turns and squints at something off screen a moment before resuming his pacing as he takes up speaking once more. "Speakin' of things that fuckin' suck more than an ol' two dollar hooker . . . Jail! I got to spend some quality freakin' time in not one, but two different fuckin' cells. Two jails, on two different planets, and both charges were absolute bullshit. First time was on Taranus." He stops his pacing for a second as he turns to face the camera with a wide, childish grin. "Heh, Tar-Anus. That's fuckin' classic. Anyways . . ." He takes a moment to collect his rather scattered thoughts as he begins pacing again. "Got what turned into almost two days in their shitty dungeons for beating up Blondie. Fuck that though, if you come up and insult /MY/ fuckin' boyfriend in fuckin' front of me, ye. I'm gonna beat the shit out of ya. So that was the first one and uh the second was uh.... Damn... It was for uh...." His pacing slows a tad and he clicks his tongue a few times before nodding to himself and speeding back up once more. "Second time was for shootin' this robit cunt in the knee. Fuck that noise though, ya dig? She came up and fuckin' chaired me over the back of the head, bitch-bot had it comin' after that. So... Ye, nothing too special on my end, mostly just jail shit. Cloud was super nice and like, there for me each time I got out though, so that was righteous. Now I just uh... Fuck, I told him I got him a gift and now he's like . . . Excited and shit and I gotta figure out what the fuck to get him so I gotta let you guys go, ye? Anyways, I'm Danny Saint Ives and I'm on my way to the top and I'm gonna top yer dad while I'm at it. Later." Danny quickly fishes the recording device's remote out of his pocket and aims it at the screen before the video cuts out.
The video opens to Danny waving excitedly in the direction of the screen, a stupid grin plastered across his beautiful, beautiful face. After spending an oddly long amount of time just waving at the camera in silence Danny finally drops his hand back to his side and takes an overly-exaggerated deep breath before beginning his spiel. "Jesus Fuckin' Christ on a Goddamn Fuckin' Pogo stick I feel freakin' good today ladies and dudes, I gotta tell ya!" He pauses for a moment and brings a hand up to cup it around the side of his ear and furrows his brow as if paying attention to something someone is saying. "Why ya ask? Well sit yer over-weight fuckin' behind down and I'll tell ya, ya inbred piece o' shit! I'm . . . IN FUCKIN' LOVE!" He shouts and throws his arms open wide at the announcement. "Ya fuckin' heard me, Danny 'The Manny' Saint Fuckin' Ives is in goddamn love with a sentient fuckin' bein' other than hisself. Ya, this shit feels tops, not gonna fuckin' lie to ya. What happened was I was like . . . Makin' Cloud this really, really shitty gift, ye? It was like a video compilation of all the times I mentioned him in my logs and just other times when I was ramblin' to my camera for myself. Then I mixed shit I was sayin' about him and what I feel about him and uh..." He suddenly stops and levels a finger at the camera, his eyes narrowing a bit as he does so. "I can feel you fuckin' laughin' you shits. Fuck off. I know it sounds pretty gay, but fuck you he liked the shit." He nods once, considering the non-issue settled before dropping his hand and continuing his shitty story. "But ye, I was like makin' this thing for him and I was just like... Shit. This is actually a lot of fuckin' work . . . And I'm fuckin' happy to do it even! I fuckin' hate doin' things for people, but here I am. Workin' my ass off like a chump on some shitty present for Cloud and I'm fuckin' happy to do it even. So I just kinda realized, shit... I think I fuckin' love this dude. So I decided to fuckin' tell him, even though I was pretty sure he was gonna tell me to fuck off. That's the best freakin' part actually. I told him after I showed him the shit video and not only did he not fuckin' tell me to fuck off, he loves me too! Can ya believe that shit ya nerds?! Shit, almost makes me not care about gettin' evicted and permanently deported from Shitpportunity. Anyways, I'm Danny 'Love-Struck' Saint Ives, and I'm on my way to the top!" Danny eschews the traditional wave goodbye in favor of the much more professional option of blowing a kiss goodbye to the camera before killing the feed.
The log begins with Danny sitting on the couch as always. He's leaning forward with a small, pained smile on his face as he clutches his side with his right hand. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a ragged, slow breath before beginning. "Uh.. Heyo nerds and nerdettes, bet ya thought I forgot about y'all, din't ya? Well," His forced smile slips for a second and he winces and clutches his side a bit harder. The silence hangs for a few moments before he looks back to the camera, a bit of an embarrassed painted across his features. "Ye, sorry about that. I uh... I broke a rib apparently. I'll save ya the borin' details but a bit of advice for y'all. If ya ever wanna stop a ship from bringin' ya into a port that yer gonna get jailed at, there's better way's then blowing out it's engines with a plasma cannon. That shit's liable to get ya blown a room and a half away and smash ya into a wall or some shit. Anyways uh... Movin' up in the world and shit, don'tcha know. Lil' ol' Danny Saint Ives is now the leader of those crazy fuckers the Outcasts. That's pretty cool I guess, means I gotta put my ass on the line a lot fuckin' more and that kinda fuckin' sucks. Like . . . I thought I was the big boss so I avoided the action, guess fuckin' not and I gotta toe the fuckin' line like the rest of the fuckin' degenerate cunts under my command or whatever. On the bright side I'm finally fuckin' famous!' He practically shouts the last bit, earning himself a fresh bout of pain and causing him to slow down and recline back into the chair to attempt to steady himself before continuing on. "Ye, everyone knows who Danny is and erryone wants a piece, so that's pretty cool innit? Uh... Think that's about except uh this awesome chick I met. Names Vivian, she's a smart fuckin' cookie no lie and foxy as can be. Already rocked our first date, even fuckin' got the kiss she said she wasn't gonna give me. Guess uh, that's just perks of bein' a dashin' rogue innit? Anyways, I'll tell y'all more 'bout her after our next date. Hope y'all are doin' good out there and remember..." A low groan of pain escapes his lips as he forces himself up from the couch and levels a finger at the screen. "I'm Danny Saint Ives, and I'm the fuckin' king." The video cuts out immediately after, apparently Danny finally learned to edit out him shutting the camera off.
The log opens to Danny on a new couch, in a new place, how very exciting! He's sitting on a new, beige couch in what a small but well furnished room. Not only has his location changed, his look has been given an overhaul as well. Atop his head sits a light-brown cowboy hat and his right arm is bent at a ninety degree angle with everything past the elbow tucked neatly into his jacket. He brings up his left hand to grab the brim of his hat and tips it toward the camera before beginning. "Howdy fellas and gals. Ye, Howdy, ya heard me right. I'm uh... Well fuck I'll explain the lingo in a bit let me start with one important fuckin' thing. I. AIN'T. DEAD." He pauses between each word and makes sure to speak slowly and clearly so as to emphasize his point. "Fuckin' they fucked my up, sure as sure but I'm still kickin'. Uh... If you were interested in the details of that shit well uh...." He stops and brings his left hand over to tap his motionless right arm a few times before continuing. "This arm don't work no more. Maybe it's the way it got shot, maybe it's nerve or muscle damage, I couldn't tell ya. I just know it doesn't work anymore. Next, I had to dish a hundred grand off that money Ray 'donated' a while back to get this here piece of shit." Lickity split his left hand drops down to his right shin and gives it a rough knocking, eliciting a hollow metallic thud each time his fist makes contact with it. "Yep, hundred grand and I can barely fuckin' walk still. 'Pparently it should work just like my old leg but fucked if I've been able to figure it out so far. I've basically had to be peg leggin' it around my ship and this place Viv set me up in." As he mentions Viv's name a small smile crosses his features and a bit of cheer finally enters his voice once more. "She's . . . Fuck, I'm head over heels for her still. Viv's the only that didn't fuck me over. She's still been there for me. She gave me a new home, came to check on me in my ship, and I still get to date her and everythin'. Ye.... Ye.... Life ain't completely bad I guess, long as I still got my gal to chase, errr... Hobble after. Ye, so think that's everything 'Cept one last bit. Danny Saint Ives, good a name as it is, has too freakin' negative a connotation and shit to repair my image with I think. I uh... I changed my name to one I got from a movie that I watched with the chick who gave me this." He says as he lifts a finger to point up at the brim of his hat. "So uh... Without further ado and shit..." He takes a breath to cover his moment o hesitation at using his new name. "My name is Trinity, and I hope y'all have a nice day." CLICK. There it ends.
