Trading short story about a topic of your choosing for a drawing of my Apex.

Like the title said, I am trading. If you draw my Apex taking a hit from his doob, sitting in his chair in his armor, in a cartoon or realistic black and white sketch style (I know, I am not offering money, So I won't ask for too much), I will trade you a short story (3/4 - 1 1/2 pages in MS Word) about a topic of your choosing.

Here's a picture. He is wearing fullmetal armor and a black cape, relaxing from an exhausting day of vigilante work.



Thank you in advance!

 

I can. But I reserve the right to not do it. I have written numerous stories about people doing disgusting, nasty things. Just ask @Sammy McHammyDoodle .

 

PM me your topic, and I will write it Looking forward to your drawing.

 

Oh god that guy looks super stoned

 

In honor of the picture, a funny story about a guy trying to build a bong out of a zucchini.

_______________________

Mark loved weed. In fact, he loved all those weeds. He was the type to stand in line for fresh produce at the market, with no concerns for health or anything else - In fact, he also was one of those people that never, ever seemed to get sick. He attributed it to eating vegetables and consuming the devil's cabbage, also known as the reefer, the kush, the ganja, and lots of other funny names that elope me and you as well, dear reader, because it has been a long time since we did not nourish ourselves with the remains of instant ramen soup or bread with salt on it. Mmh. Crusty. Slap some cheese on and you got a full-sized meal. But back to Mark.

One day as he was standing in the pouring rain behind a guy whose leather sandals gave sight to his skinny feet - in fact, everything about him looked malnourished, but Mark's body type was the same, so he just gazed in awe at this bare display of a strong immune system, standing in the cold october rain unphased by anything, seeming to grow stronger with every drop of water that hit his body - his eyes spied a giant zucchini, green and nutritious, a connector between this world, a world of hunger, and the heavenly world of vegan spaghetti made from zucchini skin shavings. Long story short, he bought the thing and brought it home into his condo that was full of peace flags, reeked of the devil's lettuce, cabbage, ganja ... oh right, we had that already.

Sadly, when he came home, he found his bong shattered on the ground. His cat had been an asshole again, but in his mind fueled by hunger only left one conclusion: The ghost of Bob Marley had sweeped his home, and in his honor he decided to light one up. Alas, with what? Papers where nowhere to be had on a saturday night, and even though he trusted his immune system, now, that he had tasted the warm embrace of a place reeking of ganja and cat piss again, he was in no way ready to be arsed to walk down the street to the gas station in the pouring rain.

A sudden inspiration hit him, holding up the Zucchini. A god-sent! God giveth, god taketh. Hastily he begun hollowing the soft gourd out with a dirty spoon, placing the plant refuse in hot water, in hopes of a wholesome meal. When he was finished, the bowl piece of the bong, which had not shattered, was planted in the plant and swiftly lit.

Something changed in Mark that night. Some say he found a new calling, blazing through hundreds of gourds and sometimes even a pineapple, others say the mixture of toxoplasmosis and cat smell finally took its toll. In any case, I would not advocate eating any of his meals without losing the contents of my stomach soon after.

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

 

Excellent. You get a story, too.

________________________

Hi! My name is Sakura Sakurada, and I am a student in one of Tokyo's most prestigious high schools, the Masao Futaba high school! I hope to become a waifu one day, but until then I will just study hard so I can get all the qualities that makes the senpais go crazyyy!

Usually I wake up late! >< School times are horrible! I love holidays way more. Because then, you can just sleep forever! Well, not exactly forever, but much, much later. Sugoiii!

When I get out of bed, i comb and braid my pink hair, put on my school uniforms, but then I am already running late, so i snatch my tostu and school bag and start running with tostu in my mouth! Sometimes I collide with a senpai on the way to school, most of the times they dont notice me, but one called me kawaii so i guess thats a good sign ^.^

In school I sleep most of the early classes, sensei-san-sama usually wakes me up by yelling at me but i dont careeeee. >< But in the afternoon we have interesting classes, like sewing and making bento boxes. This is way more important than french or math, because I do not want a Senpai from France or Math. I wonder where Math is, though.

When I come home I hop on my IM and message the other schoolgirls! Then my parents come home and make me eat disgusting curry with pickled bamboo. I love curry, but I hate pickled bamboo!

I play video games until it is dark, then I do half of my homework, >< always too late for that! And then it is just another day done. When I become older, I will go to a prestigious waifu school. Wish me luck with that!

Gomen, but I gotta go now! ^.^