((These entries can be accessed through the main console of her vessel, requiring only a bit of poking around to get into.)) >Records >Panzer v2 >Antares Log (1) . . . >>> I've never realized how dependent I am on my tech. My retreat was so hasty that before the end, the MiniKnog had purloined my belongings and I was forced to steal away in a common shipping vessel. How I've outpaced them is beyond me. Perhaps they are dealing with more defectors than they can keep under control... Antares was a hostile experience from the start. I admit that in my haste to evade the MiniKnog, I had little time to pick which part of the galaxy this vessel would end, though there couldn't have been a more punishing planet. My ship was pushed to the point of being almost entirely compromised and I was forced off board onto the most frigid planet I'd ever been. For THREE whole days I signaled for help! I spent almost the entirety of that time huddled in a shallow cave. Finally it was an avian named Aerdem who responded. Unlike most Avian whom I've encountered, he appeared more scientifically inclined, rather than supernaturally. Had it not been for him, I may have perished. I have no dormant clone to pick up my life, should I die. I've encountered only a handful of individuals in this sector named a 'Frontier', some of them being Apex. It appears there are so much more of us than the MiniKnog would have us believe. It is imperative I further study these Antares citizens. I may need depend on them... Panzer v2... Log 1. >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (2)< >>a/v<< . . . >>>"Audio. Visual." A coarse, dry voice commanded monotonously. Female by the sound of it, yet faintly masculine. The visual kicked on, a screen beholding partly metallic boots, half melted snow clinging to the sides. The wearer took a couple steps back as the recording device panned upwards to reveal an Apex. Her height wasn't apparent, though under the metallic and synthetic suit she wore could be seen more muscle than would be deemed typical of a female. She squatted down with her forearms on her knees as she furrowed her brows some, eye fixed on the visual playback like she didn't know the face on screen. Her expression quickly changed into a half smirk, half sneer, scoffing. >She looked to be in an immense, poorly lit dome, encased from groaning wind. There were a few dormant human robots hardly visible in the background. Her gaze returned to the lens. >"10 days since I've blundered into Antares..." She paused. "I fled, thinking I'd live almost exclusively on the resources I would gather but my provisions are emptying fast. Aside from my ship, these USCM robots are the most advanced tech I've got!" Her voice rose in irritation. She turned her head, side eyeing the robots behind her for a moment in silent contemplation... She sighed, reverting her attention to the camera. The wind let up for a moment, and a faint crackling of fire could be heard from off screen. "I've been fortunate, however. I won't divulge names or places but I've began engineering plasma based devices professionally. The pay and benefits make the MiniKnog appear like slavers. I only have to hold out until I'm issued my first payment." >She winced in discomfort as she eased herself onto the floor, seated with her arms around her knees. Her eyes ventured off camera. "Leaving the MiniKnog was like throwing myself into a fog. They were all I knew, even if they were-" She hesitated a moment before whispering. "Scoundrels..." She remained silent, eyes on a small pile of dust she'd absently gathered from the floor about her before sweeping it away with a flick of her hand. "I'll continue to document my occurrences should there be anything noteworthy. I've made it this far." She ended confidently, eyes darting back to the camera. >"Panzer v2. Log 2." >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (3)< >>a/v<< . . . >>> "Audio. Visual." She commanded, the sound of a machine ratchet whirring loudly as the visual flickered on, the blurry image of a figure quickly sharpening to reveal the apex, Panzer. She sat cross legged on the floor of her vessel, in front of the server cabinet placed between she and the deep humming engine in the background. She held the ratchet in her one hand, a small machine part in the other that she worked on. Tools and various mechanical parts were strewn about in front of her as she worked, a slightly bloodied bandage wrapped around her head, revealing only one eye. "I was looking for a planet to build a foundry-" She said flatly as she worked at the items in her hands. "-but my head hurts too much to be frequently beaming in and out of my ship today." She paused, simply eyeing the ambiguous machine part in her hand a moment before sighing, nonchalantly dropping it to the floor in front of her before lifting her one exposed eye to the camera lens. "Hughey struck me in the face so hard yesterday that I thought I might pass out, though I came out on top." She leaned back against the server cabinet, hands placed squarely on her knees. "That was the only time I've ever fought for sport. He took the defeat well, unlike some males would. I imagine his head must hurt as much as my own now, if not more..." > She looked back down to the various tools and machine components that lay around her, fingers idly tapping on her knees a moment as she thought. "Meriweather and Dr. Rakael watched us spar. She told me more about her father and the heightened immunity serum they worked on in her original colony, afterwards..." She paused again, as if recalling something troublesome. "It's awful what happened and she is still clearly very heartsick for her family. I felt unscrupulous, leaving her on those thoughts." She returned her eye to the lens for just a moment before turning her head to focus on something beyond the sight of the camera, behind the server cabinet. She reached out and grabbed it, revealing a gramophone record in its sleeve to the visual. There were three human men in tuxedos printed on the cover. "I found this some time ago as I was rooting through an abandoned USCM facility. Rakael mentioned having some affinity for human music, and I'm sure she'd appreciate it..." She finished, looking down to the record a moment before setting it off to the side. > "There's a lot of work to do still. Though in my condition I'm in no mood to do much..." > "Panzer v2. Log 3." >>> ...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (4)< >>a/v<< . . . >>> "Audio." She commanded plainly, her voice coarse and flat as it typically was. A thump was heard, like someone dropping themselves into a chair. She sighed loudly, remaining silent for a moment... "Visual." The screen flicked on, revealing Panzer in her usual white, though stained sleeveless shirt. She still remained in her lightly armored trousers, black with a large, heavy brown belt. The room was dimly lit, with only a lantern lighting on one side on the table she sat next to. "I've been doing security for The Grey Hand. Two VERY long and tedious days here on Taranis, checking in citizens and visitors. Both days we were attacked by Outcasts." Stress and exhaustion was clear in her face and voice. "I don't enjoy interacting with all these strangers, especially when they want to give me a sharp tongue about the security measures in place. That..." she hesitated as she searched for an appropriate word. "human, Aubrey had harassed me the majority of my first day on security. I stayed with in the law through out most of my shift but after the Outcast attack I- I snapped. I was under SO much pressure and Aubrey made his typical snide remark, this time about my competence as a law enforcer. I can vaguely remember what happened next, I let myself go into a blind rage and I assaulted him. I threw him, to be exact..." > There was another long pause as she rubbed her face, the chair she sat in creaking lightly every so often. "Then there was yesterday. The Outcasts returned AGAIN. They shot Aubrey and Meriweather. Both non-fatal, thankfully. Poor Meriweather... he is a peaceful one. Not quick to anger, like me." She gave a long, breathy exhale as she tossed her head back, it resting on the back of her chair as she absently stared at the ceiling. "After that attack, some vigilantes revealed themselves, claiming to have chased off the Outcasts. I was skeptical, and one of them was being in-CREDIBLY difficult. M-X4 questioned them, and I warned the vigilante to stop avoiding answers. He would not stop with his IRRITATING quips and then I shot his legs." She brought up an upturned hand in a half shrug before immediately dropping it. > "I'm getting worked up just thinking about it. I may need to see someone about this anger because even under the MiniKnog I didn't let myself boil like this. Maybe I just need to end this security nonsense. I'm clearly not made for it." > "I did get to see Dr. Rakael before the night was through, however. That made it a little easier..." She remained silent a moment longer. > "Panzer v2. Log 4." >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (5)< . . . >>> I keep dreaming of the past. I remembered that miserable old oaf I was married to for the first time since coming to Antares. It's the ugly memories that won't die. I'm trying to get past Elanha for good and all, but I don't know if I can. She was a passionate engineer and so am I. She loved her father very much and so do I. I know I can never end it when the past keeps creeping up on me like this and I share it with the people I know. I told Rakael what my name used to be and she calls me by it now. I shouldn't have told her. > If I seem to despair I know it's only because things are going too well for me and I don't want to get used to it. For one, The Grey Hand is no longer doing security work on Taranis. The stress of that chapter is ended, thankfully and I can start selling metal to Antares. Furthermore, Dr. Rakael and I have become very close. I hadn't pursued something like romance since I was a stupid little girl, yet I think of her constantly. With her, I smile and laugh more than I ever have... That scares me. > I will be collecting the scraps of Hugheys ship to melt down soon. It will pay for his new leg, at the least... >Panzer v2. Log 5. >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (6)< . . . >>> I've stared at this screen for so long trying to find the words to describe just how angry I am. I can't. I can't... This is a common theme in my life. Nothing makes me so furious, remembering how vulnerable I let those FUCKING florans make me! I was a baby in their hands. I don't remember much that happened after they released me. Someone bought me out. An apex I think. I just CAN'T remember! > My wounds got worse and I was afraid to see anyone but the pain became too much. I called Dr. Rakael to help me. She was... distressed, I could see. I tried to comfort her but I grew aggressive. I scared her, I think. Hurt her. Ape, I... I wanted to go. I was too ashamed of how I treated her but she insisted I stay. My wounds were still grievous. I couldn't even walk on my own with how awful my leg was. She had to perform surgery on it, though her equipment was limited... I've been in bed for so, so many hours. I don't know how to press forward now, I don't know where to start. I feel like that stupid little girl I used to be who could never stay out of trouble. I want to break those SAVAGE BASTARD FLORANS!!! Oh ape, I can't think straight I just can't STAND THIS! > I must see the psychiatrist, Dr. Sarah Panin again... She will know what to do. I can't be this helpless. I can't. >Panzer v2. Log 6... >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (7)< >>a/v<< . . . >>> "Audio!" She commanded loudly, pausing before scoffing. There was a faint electric buzzing in the background as well as a deep, distant hum of an engine. "Visual..." Her voice lowered as if she'd realized she'd been too loud as the screen flicked on. She was sitting on the floor of her vessel against the back of her command chair, cross-legged. In the background, through the shield of her cockpit could be seen a frozen planet which her vessel orbitted. "This." Her brows raised as she pointed behind her to the icy, celestial object. "This is the headquarters of my metal industry. Out of the way of prying eyes and hopefully out of the way of vandals." Her eyes were a little red, her speech a bit slurred. "I'm..." She grabbed at something from off screen before presenting it to the camera. It was a simple tin flask. "I've drank this. Hmmm." A smirk appeared on her face as she brought the flask back to her to examine a moment. "I've only drank a couple times. All the while in Antares of course. With Hughey. With Rakael. Never near this much, however. I mean, why not?... This is the rectum of the galaxy, after all. You'd think so if you spent enough time here." She idly gazed at the flask a moment longer, seeming lost in thought before looking back up to the camera lens. > "Good days. Bad days." She leaned back against the command chair, clasping her hands behind her head. "I'm walking again... Crippled but I'm walking. I also spent some much needed time with my lover and opened my metal industry to Antares. Hughey is in charge of the Grey Hand now... James was a good man but I think Hughey is a better fit." Her eyes flicked down to the flask in her lap a moment before looking back up to the camera lens with a somewhat groggy, unconcerned expression. "Dr. Sarah Panin asked me to focus on the things that make me happy and to get over the past. She's right, I know but..." She sneered, averting her gaze. "That chef... Mordecai Ensete. He assaulted me and claims there are MiniKnog agents on their way here to kill me. I don't believe him... And those florans. Those FUCKING florans! They're always there in the back of my mind!" She snorted, her expression growing severe. "Just- Just look at this!" She leaned forward as she yanked the collar of her white sleeveless shirt down some, revealing a blackened brand in the shape of a fang burned over her heart. "They own me, it seems. HA!" She barked, standing to her feet quickly before slamming the empty tin flask down onto the ground, it clattering loudly off into the distance. The camera lens tilted upwards, she looking like a giant from this angle. Her teeth were bared in a most hostile expression. "He's DEAD!" She roared, bristling as her muscles tensed, sneering as her breathing picked up. "That floran! I'm driving that fang he took from me through his FUCKING EYE! Then I'll burn HIM! I have a foundry now, after all!" She quickly looked back down to the camera lens, her expression somewhat maddened. "Enough of this log!" > "Panzer v2!" She barked. "Log 7!" >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (8)< . . . >>> I wanted to start these logs to track my progress though I'd be a liar if I said I did this for any other reason but to gripe. Maybe some century in the future an explorer will stumble upon these logs and wonder what this big ugly wench is always complaining about... > I was tazed the other day by Aubrey on Gum. I chased him into the elevator and beat him until he fell unconscious. He busted my nose pretty good. Pulled my pistol on him but I couldn't shoot him. He's a snob but he doesn't deserve death. Some hours later I had another one of my... episodes. > I was intoxicated and that only makes it worse. I don't remember the details but I pulled a gun on a MiniKnog walking through Gum. I screamed at her and the authorities detained me. Why Yukari tolerates MiniKnog in her colony is beyond me. MiniKnog in Antares are not big enough to present an immense threat to any colony. All I know is I'm harming my own cause more then I'm helping it. > I've been thinking a lot about Rakael, too... I feel it might be best that I stop seeing her. She makes me happier, but after what happened a week ago, I don't want to risk harming her. I'm going to have another childish fit of rage and end up hitting her or getting her killed. I've already hurt her once... Celibacy would be a smarter option. I've done it some 8 standard years or so after Omar and I can do it again. It's going to hurt but... It's for the best. > Panzer v2. Log 8. >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (9)< . . . >>> Every populated place needs metal and weapons. A frontier especially will need metal for erecting their new colonies and weapons because shooting your problems are easier than reasoning with them. I'm already selling metal but plasma guns? I can't get the technology I need to print and assemble the weapons I've designed. I don't have the time to assemble them by hand or at least not in the quantity I mean to develop. I've spoken to Ray Beluga about my problem and while he assured me he can develop the machinery I need for my weapons, he will not... I should have known better, he seeming to be a pacifist hylotl. Now I can only hope to find another capable engineer. Perhaps I should just stick to metal alone. I'm not sure I have the patience to deal with the vast competition of weapon developers there seems to be here in Antares. I already have an upstart durasteel vendor I need to contend with, with out the added pressure of more commercial rivalry. We will see. Perhaps it's time to put my plasma engineering behind me for good and all. > I've hired a hand for metalwork in my foundry. Aubrey Flak of all people... I felt bad when he came to apologize to me for our short history of dissension. He took the high road that I would not and in truth, I felt ashamed. He expressed interest in work and I offered to pay him for melting and molding my scrap. I admit now that I regret allowing him into my foundry though I desperately needed help, especially now that I have Vivians' Triton Mechanical business to provide for. I can only hope that Aubrey is serious, capable and that I have not made a grave mistake... > I'm going to cut this short as I'm expecting to soon meet with the psychiatrist, Dr. Panin. I have a lot to discuss with her. >Panzer v2. Log 9. >...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (10)< >>a/v<< . . . >>> "Audio..." A voice stated meekly. There was a long pause with nothing but a deep engine hum and faint, digital beeping in the background. "Visual." The screen flicked on in the dim cockpit, she sitting cross legged on the floor behind her command chair as she was last video log. Her eyes were cast down to a very wrinkled note in her hands, idly fumbling with it. Another long pause. > "She left yesterday." Her voice was low, quiet and without the coarse, biting command it often carried. "Left to her home colony this says, where ever that is. I was going to leave her myself but..." Her voice trailed off as she continued eyeing it a moment longer, a sneer slowly creeping onto her face, crushing the note that looked like it had been crushed a few times already in her hand and flinging it off screen. Her eyes followed it bouncing away with a bitter, forlorn expression. "Fuck her..." The words came out as a whisper. "It's going out the airlock with everything else she left. I'm not worth her time so fuck her. Coward..." She continued staring off screen before sighing loudly, her shoulders slumping as she pressed her open palm against her face, shaking her head some. "It's not important anymore." She forced her typical, hardened tone out as she lowered her hand, squarely eyeing the lens. "I have things to do and- and I have work to attend to. I need to push steel and durasteel hard now that those delinquent peddlers are trying to upstage my business. I m-" She cut herself off, a troubled look on her face. "I met them last night... I should never drink again, truly I become an animal. I screamed at them. Or maybe it was Ray or... Or both?" She sighed, shaking her head and hanging it shamefully. "I am a professional and I should act like it. I only hope word of this doesn't get to Vivian. I try to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of things but I just end up fucking it all up. Dr. Panin told me not to but I just- I don't want to..." Her voice trailed off again, faintly shaking her head. "No, no more. Work comes first..." >Panzer v2. Log 10. >>>...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (11)< >>a<< . . . >>> "Audio-" She coughed violently for a moment before clearing her throat. "Eaugh... Great fuckin' news..." Her voice was scratchy and hoarse, her speech much slower than it typically was, oblivious to the fact that she didn't start the visual. "I'm leaving Antares for a few days. Gotta go see my... Gotta see my mother. I mean, I don't have to but I should really get out of Antares for some time. This place has had me going downhill fast. Maybe I can actually build some sort of relationship with he-" She was cut off by another fit of coughing. "Shit, Panin said it..." She paused a moment. "Guh... Panin said these would make me nauseous if I abused them but then again I haven't assaulted anyone since taking them. Not like you can't get away with anything on Gum anyways." She sighed loudly, staying mostly silent aside for the occasional mouth fart noise. "That's another reason I need to leave for a while... Need to forget certain people, need to get my fucking head squarely on my shoulders again. Need to apologize to Aubrey too. He actually brought someone in to have me interview and I just berated him." She burped loudly. "Shit, Ugh... Future me will be proud, looking like I'm drunk or high on pills or raging like some juvenile brat all the time. Mother will be proud. Ha! Maybe I can get her to look at me with anything but a scowl this time. Useless log... I'm done." > "Panzer v2. Log... 12" >>>...
((This log takes place 2 days before.)) >Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (12)< . . . >>> I've been back from the Madic sector for a while now and my mothers mind is failing. Dementia, I'm starting to think though there's no qualified doctors in her settlement to properly diagnose her. It took a lot for the other apex there to trust me and let me in but I was glad to be there. My mother probably has a few years more at best. I feel like I shouldn't have left her at all but here I am again... > My leg is killing me. Aubrey made a point to try and badmouth me in front of my new employee and I wasn't going to stand for it. I tried to keep my temper down but he persisted. I'm such a puppet... I jumped over the railing in my foundry and down to the level below where Aubrey was. Since then my leg has only worsened. Antares has made me crazy and it's only a matter of time before I get shot or killed, I know it. It doesn't help that I'm out of the pills Dr. Panin gave me either. > Short log. I need to remember ot update it often. > Panzer v2. Log 12. >...
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (13)< . . . >>> I deserved this. > I dreamed I was falling again. When I woke up I threw back the sheets, hoping desperately that it had all been a dream but... I'd been a fool. When you want something desperately you sometimes dare to believe it's true, even when a clear head would know better. No... My leg is still missing and I am still paralyzed below my waist. That fucking idiot shouldn't have come to my foundry with a gun! Had he not- > Ape... I'm wrong. I've recounted the night I fell over and over and no matter what I want to believe, I must not make the mistake of thinking anyone did this to me but myself. I want to be angry. I wish I could rage and scream about this until I get it out of my system but I can't. I feel only numb and it is that same aggression that put me where I am now. I should learn to keep myself calm or maybe... Maybe I should just accept that I am a raving lunatic. I attacked two different humans that day. I would blame them for their insolence or unreliability but in the end I am just wildly tactless and barbaric. This is not the MiniKnog. You can't rely on others to be the well oiled machines you used to work with, Elanha... Grow up. > I will work to increase staff for Pv2 Metals & Foundry as well as have an elevator installed but... for now I will sleep and hope I don't dream of falling anymore. Also, make a note not to bother Vivian. She's got enough to deal with at the moment it would seem. >Panzer v2. Log 13... >>>...
[Pv2 METALS & FOUNDRY] Associate List Smelters: Aubrey Flak [TERMINATED] (I worry he might show at the facility. I may need to hire security) Turavis [ACTIVE] MINERS: Clemenz [ACTIVE] (I don't understand half of what he says. I may need to update my translator) Will Davis [ACTIVE] Metalworkers: Ximena [IN TRAINING] (May use hard psychoactive drugs. I need to have her tested to be sure she doesn't compromise the metal) Cody Parker [IN TRAINING] Scrappers: (Me, formerly. I'll need two new scrappers.) Notes I'll soon need more buyers other than Triton Mechanical if I want to turn a worthy profit. Will need to buy a new vessel to better accommodate my condition. Will need to donate my scrap vessel to the business. Will need to find a reliable source for heavy pain medication.
>Records< >Panzer v2< >Antares Log (14)< >>a/v<< . . . >>> "Audio." Came a weak, tired voice. "Visual..." She continued, her faintly masculine voice lower and more coarse than usual. The screen flicked on, revealing an apex sitting up in a bed, hunching over and twiddling her thumbs slowly. The lights were low, most of her in shadows, her long black hair draping over her shoulders and hiding much of her face. "Hired a lot of new people since the accident." She said flatly, eyes still idly staring at her hands in her lap. "I was so determined to push myself back onto my feet... so to speak." She brought a hand up slowly to her face, rubbing her shrouded maw some before dropping the hand down in her lap with a sound 'plop.' "This... anger, depression. I hoped it wouldn't happen. A part of losing your body. I try to reason with myself. Make sense of it but... I never wanted to feel like that again ever since-" Panzer looked at both of her biological replacement arms, despite the prevailing darkness. She sighed quietly, remaining silent for a while. "She'll be fine... Mother. She hasn't needed me for all these years because she is strong." ... "I came all the way out here, hiding like vermin and hoping the beast doesn't come to root me out of my hole." Her coarse tone remained low, flat, sniffing quietly a couple times before wiping her nose against her knuckles. "Tried to play strong and fight back but... what do you do?" Her shoulders rose some in a faint shrug before they dropped back down. "I..." She stopped, her breathing picking up some as she reflected. "I have some things I will need to do. Clemenz cannot stay in that mine and Vivian? She deserves to know that I... I can't stay." Quickly her hand rose to her face again, wiping over her face and eyes as if trying hide evidence. "I'll send her a message." Her voice came slightly higher than before. "Send Hughey a message, where ever he might be... James Russell...Maybe even Aubrey and Meriweather." She sniffed loudly before dipping her head down low, the look on her face a mystery in the shadows as she was racked by a few silent, heaving sobs. The silent, pitiful act was finally ended with a sharp inhale, she forcing herself to stop. "No..." She commanded angrily. "That's enough. Just let it be. Let it be..." She kept her head down a moment before finally, after avoiding the gaze of the camera lens she looked up towards it, the light illuminating only her heavy apex brow and nose. "This is my last entry." >"Panzer v2... Final log."
