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Re: The Rising Price of Bananas ((A message from a slave))

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014.

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  1. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    -Posted just like any other thread on StarNet is a completely inconspicuous thread, posted by an established existing profile that has made plenty of regular enough posts in the past. But this new thread seems to be completely empty. Whatever was intended to be typed was not seen, and all that was posted was a singular sound clip of a speaking Floran who was obviously not the account's owner. It's voice has no real defining characteristics, even the gender is vague.-

    ​

    "Ssssilly new massster isss forget computer on! Old ownerssss never leave computerssss on around Floran.. Ahhh!! Floran isss know!! Massster ssssay isss working while talking to computer and let Floran sssee how before have to leave fassst.. Isss talk for him! Help with work and make ssssso proud! Isss bessst helper for bessst owner! Uhhh.. What isss sssuppossed to talk about? Tell! Tell or hit!"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #1 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  2. Toadkid1234

    Toadkid1234 New Member

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    ...What?

    -Ray Beluga
     
    #2 Toadkid1234, Jun 23, 2014
  3. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "Tell or hitsss! How isss work computersss for monkeymansss?"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #3 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  4. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Hiya!
    Who's your master? Are you a butler? I don't think butlers usually go on their masters' computers for them, but if your master asked...
    Okay, what do you need from the computer? A recipe? Some sort of business file?

    -Mysmarri
     
    #4 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  5. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "Ssssmarter voiccce! Ebi issss not know what need from computer. Not know what butler issss too. Old owner call Ebi 'ssslave' or 'pet'.

    Issss ssslave butler? What ssslave need?"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #5 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  6. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Wait what? Slave?
    You shouldn't be a slave, that's terrible! If you don't want to stay a slave, I recommend you should try contacting the authorities. Try... uh... Try messaging the USCM on their Starnet page. I'll attach a tiny guide to this post. I could maybe talk to your master, too... Who's your master again?

    But never mind all that if you want to stay a slave. I've heard some masters become really nice friends with their slaves, even if it is unfair.

    EDIT: Wait, are you still a slave to your new master?

    -Mysmarri
     
    #6 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  7. FireDrinker

    FireDrinker Beware, I live!

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    'master' feeds off floran like fungus feeds on tree. is parasite. cast off vines that constrict, before all that is good of floran is drained for masters benefit.
     
    #7 FireDrinker, Jun 23, 2014
  8. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "Massster iss not feed off Floran. Floran isss feed off massster! New massster issss sssay Ebi eat every day!!~"
    ​
    "New massster say Ebi isss hissss 'Floran'. Isss try to call 'Ebi' but isss not ressspectful to make massster sssay slavesss name.. Old owner isss teach that ssso Ebi asssk massster not to.

    New massster isss biggessst, ssstrongest, ssssmartest Apex! Isss like old onesss, sssame but different. Dresssss ssssame, look sssame.. Iss think isss..
    Minining?
    Minininog?
    Miniknog?
    No care! Iss nice! Talk isss not help!"


    "Help Ebi help masssster! Isss want make proud to own Ebi!"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #8 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2014
  9. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Weelll... I mean, I don't think it's a nice idea to be the slave of a Miniknog guy, but I guess you could make him some sort of dish. Everyone loves food, right?
    Maybe you could look up some recipes and ask him to let you use his kitchen.

    -Mysmarri
     
    #9 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  10. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "What isss mean not nicccce idea? What isss idea about? Issss work idea?"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #10 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  11. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    The Miniknog are meanies. You shouldn't hang around near them, even if one is your master and even if that master is kind. You should really think about escaping. Otherwise, I recommend maybe just chopping up a bit of avesmingo for him. I've attached a guide on how to chop avesmingo correctly, if you need to.

    -Mysmarri
     
    #11 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  12. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "Essscape..? Ebi not underssstand. Isss leave masssster?

    ..Ebi not get it. Can't leave masssster. Isss dumb. Isss never allowed to leave. Ssstupidss!"
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #12 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  13. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Oh... I'm sorry.
    But you're still able to escape. I could maybe come find you. Do you know where you are, or what your master's name is?

    -Mysmarri
     
    #13 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  14. Toadkid1234

    Toadkid1234 New Member

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    Clearly he has no desire to escape. While I do not condone slavery, in this instance it seems as if it is more of a servant scenario, where the subject Floran is provided room, board and sustenance in exchange for work. Similar to a standard job but paid in material things rather than money.

    While this would be a dead end job, if the Floran is content with his position in life, it is not in our interest or his to disturb him.
     
    #14 Toadkid1234, Jun 23, 2014
  15. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Hm.
    Alright, Floran buddy, use that guide I attached for you earlier. Try cutting him some avesmingo, if he's an Apex. Apex love that stuff.

    Oh, wait, you need to do work for you master.
    I missed that.

    Erm, well, this post is titled "The Rising Price of Bananas", so do you remember anything about that?

    -Mysmarri
     
    #15 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  16. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    "Ebi isss not read wordssss, isss lisssten to new massster while he make wordssss. Can't readsss. Robot ssslave help Ebi by tell wordsss! Massster say -The Floran emulates a larger male sounding voice- 'Yousss watch Floransss Sstormssstorm and if anyonesss looksss for, ssshoot dead and give to little flower assss treat!' Issss nicccest minognog.

    But iss sssshock robot ssslave a lot. Isss think robot isss dumb. Lock him in tube too, isss where he sssleepsss?

    But isss not matter! Ebi try to work. Cut up 'avesssango'sss like voice sssaid. Think isss ssseee avesmingoss, iss ssssquare with lightssss. Ebi sssmart, make massster very happy! Isss desssserve it, masssster ssssay in sssecret lab Ebi never sssee old ownersss again. Massster Cath trussst Ebi with sssecrets, Ebi never tellsss."
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #16 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  17. Iridium616

    Iridium616 New Member

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    -Corrupt10-
    CATH uh?
    That reminds me I should do something like, right now.
     
    #17 Iridium616, Jun 23, 2014
  18. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    Oh, hopefully he'll like that avesmingo. Great job! He'll probably appreciate it.
    I'm guessing your master's name is Cath. I'm gonna try and search that name up, hopefully I'll find his Starnet name. Then I can ask him what you're supposed to do!
    Try offering him that avesmingo when he comes by.

    -Mysmarri

    ((Will Mysmarri find Cath's Starnet account, and will she be able to contact him?))
     
    #18 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
  19. Arhicath

    Arhicath New Member

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    ((Ebi is speaking on Cath's account right now, he had to leave for a reason Ebi doesn't know about and left the account up.))

    "Name? How iss know massster Cath'sss name!? Uhhh.. Oh no, oh noo nooess! Don't tell! Don't tell Ebi made missstake! Old ownerssss isss ssshock Ebi and put needlessss in sssskin, a-and new owner hassss sssso many more ssscary machinesss!! Isss jusssst like old oness machinesss but worssse, pleasssse don't tell! Ebi not want to make new owner mad like old onesss!!

    Ebi isss not do even anything yet!! Sssstupid, lazy, bad Floran! Massster knowsss how collar worksss, iss going to zzzap Ebi! Ebi dessservesss it!! Bad bad!!

    E-Ebi go try find work to do! Good work! Hard work! W-work harder than ever! Ebi tell computer when good Floran again!!"

    -The sound of a Floran stampeding over a metal floor is what ends the recording, as it eventually times out.-
    ​
    -TopTierEngineer
     
    #19 Arhicath, Jun 23, 2014
  20. Mystyice

    Mystyice New Member

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    W- Wait! You're not a bad Floran, it's just that you mentioned your master's name for a second, and, uh... Come back, the computer says that you're a good Floran! It also says that your master will be happy about that avesmingo! Umm... And that he won't zap you! Ever!

    -Mysmarri
     
    #20 Mystyice, Jun 23, 2014
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