-A violet, leather-bound book sits in her desk cupboard. It reads, "Touch and die." Can be read ICly if you look through Quickclaw's stuff at the tree. Sharptooth has access to it ICly and can read every entry and may write in it herself.- Entry 1 Got accepted into Tribe today as Shaman! Chief seems nice, as does the Glitch Sir John. Should fit in fine here.
Entry 2 Brought Chief Markus's eyes and I have his body in the meat room. She seems pleased with me. I just thought it would be a good idea to set an example to all who confront the Chief. No one escapes the Wrath of Taranis Tribe. Because its wrath is mine.
Entry 3 Hung out with Chief today, talked about things with Sir John. Met a few more Tribe members, including the past-Second Charcoal, the vampire Floran Erynth, and others. Was a pretty uneventful day.
Entry 4 I am so excited!!!! Chief promoted me to Second! Today, I found Sharptooth to tell her about these weird noises I kept hearing from Freya's room. We get up there, and surely so, she's in bed with an Avian! Chief wanted to kill the stupid fool, but I had a plan. Long story's short, turns out the Bird is part of the R.O and we now have a man inside the R.O. Ahh, Captain. A stupid fool, he is. If he doubles back on his promise, dinner will be roasted Avian. Anyways, so after that whole thing happened, Chief talked to me, and told me what a good job I did. I suppose I did do okay. I was just doing my job as Shaman to "increase positive social standings." Anyways, I am to act as Chief when Sharptooth isn't around. I don't exactly know what to think about that. We'll have to see when I am on duty tomorrow!
Entry 6 Today was a busy day. A Tribe-Sister, Leaf-Dancer, came into Taranis with a brutal parasite in her. Sir John and I took her to the labs, where I was successfully able to poison the creature with some native Floran herbs and remedies, along with some Cyanider to choke it down. Now get this: Sir John finished it off... By blowing smoke into Leaf-Dancer with his cigar! I laughed ridiculously long after John made a joke of it back at the tree... So Leaf-Dancer's okay now, which is good. Met Tribe-Sister named Rose, who was troubled about whether or not she was still in the Tribe. I re-recruited her and took her back home to the Tree . And then... Blood-Singer happened. He said my Shaman attire was stupid and that I was not needed because science prevails over superstition. He obviously didn't know about Floran Tradition, because funny thing is, Shamans actually had Floran remedies that would cure most sicknesses and infections. So haha on you! He seemed pretty upset at me, though, and he doesn't trust me. I hope he will come around. After a long day as Chief, Sharptooth came home, and we talked for awhile. Then she carried me to my room. I wonder how I never noticed how cute her smile is until now...
Entry 7 Had a relaxing day! Met more Tribe-Members, and even Brother came back! Ghost-chaser came to find me. I am glad he did. I hope he will stay with the Tribe for a bit. Also met Orchid, whom I trust and think of as a good friend. I also met Fenris and Lilligant. Fenris seems nice, and Lilligant (Lilly) just so happens to worship the Sun like me! How neat! I am glad another Shaman is here. So I go downstairs for a bit, then I wanted to talk to Chief, so I go upstairs to see her gawking at something. That something turned out to be Lilly's posterior. I admit... I stared too... And... May have drooled a bit... Just a bit... So she turns around and Sharp and I run to her room and lock the door, and talking about Lilly's butt, when she realizes that I am Omnisexual. Which means that I'm into girls.... And then she started touching me... We playfully were flirting until she tackled me to the ground. I teased her for awhile, and then pushed her off... But she didn't leave empty-handed. Solaris help me. I kissed the Chief. She's a good kisser... And her leaves feel good...
Entry 8 Been away searching for siblings so far today. I hope Sharpy is there keeping order, because I may not be back... We'll see. Can't stop thinking about Chief, and how things happened last night. I do have feelings for Chief, and there is such thing as Tribe-wives. Maybe, if I try hard enough, I can be her First Tribe-wife! But I can't just proclaim my feelings... No, I must tease Sharp enough to the point where she must be the one to need my love. Then, and only then, can we be together. Look at me, being all stupid and romantic... Chief's strong. And fun to be around. And really attractive...
Entry 9 Super sick in my bed, like a weakling... Something wrong with my breathing, it comes out all crackly. I haven't been around for a long time, can't get up without my head swimming... Sometimes the Tribe brings me medication, some Floran herbs every now and then shoved under my door, but I'm scared it won't be enough... I just want to see Sharp again. I have my door locked, but I'm pretty sure she has the master key... I just want to talk to her before I might not be able to talk anymore. *There are large drops of sap and shaky handwriting that is unintelligible after this point. It is assumed she had a coughing fit, and was unable to complete the entry.*
Entry 10 Morabre is complete, and we're beginning to claim land for ourselves. It seems this is a new start for Ailanthus. I wanted to talk about my feelings. I feel. As much as I don't want to, I do. I feel a lot. I blame Mother. But I hide it under a thick plate of coldness and ruthlessness, to the point of looking cruel. I am young, still. Naive. And I hate myself because of all of these things. I love Sharptooth. I love her with all my heart. I want to be with her. I think of her every day, every hour. And I hate myself for that as well. Hate, hate, hate. I hate this stupid lisp, I hate my cute, girly, face, and above all, I hate, I HATE... My feelings. I just hate myself... But I hold these feelings down. For the Tribe. For Chief.... And for myself.
Entry 11 I snapped. I told myself I wouldn't, but I did. And in front of the one person who, of all, I shouldn't be snapping in front of. Now Sharptooth knows the truth. I feel too much. I hold it all in. And I blow up like a fucking volcano. It's what I do to cope. And suddenly, Quickclaw isn't the dependable one anymore. She's vulnerable, too. Weak, even. And that's too true. But I do my job. For the sake of the Tribe. I just hope that's enough to redeem myself.
Entry 12 I am back, and so much has already happened. I feel more mature than I did coming into things. Perhaps I've become the strong woman I always view my mother to be, finally. Not the childish, angsty Floran I was when I first joined Ailanthus Tribe. Sharptooth has stepped down as Chief, and is replaced by Nightshade. I don't know how to think of this, but Sharp has her downsides as a leader, and perhaps Nightshade might be more suited for it anyways. However, she has not seen my position as previous Second as anything notable. She does not know my skill in diplomacy and politics. I know what to do, I am not like the brutes that make up the foundation of this tribe. I am cut from a different cloth, I suppose, and I struggle to be recognized for it. It is true... I did abandon the Tribe. Sort of. I was on my way back to Morabre (also gone, apparently) when I ran out of fuel halfway across the journey. I had to stop by a foreign planet for a moment so I could refuel. What happened was about fifty Florans jumping me and capturing me as a prisoner of war. Once I had explained I did not belong to any of the local tribes (none of them had translators, I had to speak my native language), they chained me up anyways and... Well, I don't want to talk about it. I fought for my life so many times in my time there... I was treated like a gladiator. I would be involved in skirmishes and raids, then thrown back in the pit they kept me in. I tried to escape only once... And I didn't see the Sun for two weeks. They wouldn't feed me, forcing me to eat the cadavers of those we slain. Women... Children... And it became a drug to me, the combat and the spoils of war. I went feral. I can't control my hissing anymore, it's just a skill that I can't pick up any longer. I have abandoned Solaris just as she abandoned me. Who could feel faith in my shoes? Who could believe that... Somewhere, your Holy Mother watches as you eat the carcass of Florans with a wild look in your eye, and no feeling in your heart? Who could do this to me?! And now, I feel the consequences... I feel the pain they felt, I see the faces of those I had eaten, those I had slain with such... Such eagerness for the Hunt! They follow me everywhere they go. I hear their voices of anguish and hate. Who could blame them? I hate myself, too for what I've done. For what others did to me, how weak I was that I couldn't slit my wrists and just let the sap ooze out of me until I died. My life was not worth all of those I stole, and yet... The pleasure I felt when my blade cut off their limbs, the tasty sap in the air, and the sound of screams and fire as yet another victory fueled me with ecstasy. And it was the only thing I was allowed. Then, I was thrown back in the pit. Back where the nightmares could pursue me. But it doesn't matter, now. This Tribe needs me more than I need myself. I don't need to be happy or healthy as long as I can do my part. I am still strong in body and......... partially in mind. And I am so eager to be able to get back to my paperwork again. And yet, I long for the Hunt again. I want to taste sentient flesh and plant alike. Let the opportunity come soon before I do something I will regret forever.
So... She's gone. I knew it was a matter of time before the both of us were dead in a grave. Perhaps in the same one. But it wasn't how it was supposed to be, I suppose. And now here I am, broken and dead in all definitions but still alive. I've been keeping up with my daily work in the Tribe, doing many menial chores and paperwork. I don't really feel the eagerness I've always had for working for the Tribe. Just sort of this... Emptiness, this wound in me Sharp left when she passed. I fear it's an emptiness I can never fill. Felith has made a militia in defense of Eden from our enemies. I suppose I'll join as a typical grunt, perhaps my death will come more quickly and with more purpose than if I ended it myself. I just... Don't have hope things will ever get better. I still see those I've killed everywhere I go. I swear I could see Sharptooth's face smirking at me from my door. I still smell her, too. But Chief will need me more than ever to fill in the hole Sharp left. I'll try my best as I usually do. But this time, my heart won't be with it. My heart is long dead.
