Behold, readers: A story of betrayal. A story of corruption and greed. A story about how someone I trusted beyond human comprehension caused my inevitable downfall. Data entries will be unencrypted and uploaded on a daily basis. Enjoy. -DL-
Day 6 Everyone on the science team was given one of these portable data-log things to record their progress in. I found this in the trash on the second day. Also, don't ask why I was digging through the trash. It's irrelevant. I honestly wasn't planning on using the thing but, in the absence of anything else to kill time with, fuck it. My name's Julian Kovic. I'm twenty-six years old. I recently took up a temporary job for the United Systems as a guard on one of their research expeditions. We're supposed to be ensuring the safety of a selected group of scientists. We left Earth on a moderate-sized research ship six days ago. We'll return once a year has passed. By then, these folks should be finished doing whatever it is they're doing and we can return with their results. I don't know why exactly it was necessary to conduct this project outside of Earth but I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm not missing much down on that planet. I don't exactly have much of a home to go back to. I'm out of work and I'm in serious need of additional income after resolving some debts my brother was in a while back. As for what I do here specifically, I just patrol around certain sections of the ship and check in with anyone I see wearing a lab coat to make sure they feel protected. What exactly am I protecting them from? I don't know. It's been six days in and there's been no action whatsoever. There's around twenty of us stationed here working as guards. It's a fairly small operation but it sure as shit pays well. Makes me wonder why more people aren't doing this. It's a simple job that comes with way too much downtime. It gets boring at times but, hey, when that's the only thing you've got to complain about, things can't be that bad. It's something I could easily get used to.
Day 13 I'm making some friends. Us guards get way too much time to talk to each other so we're all pretty well-acquainted at this point. I mostly hang out with this one guy, Shaun. He and I play video games in between shifts to kill time when there's nothing left to do. Before we all departed on this ship, Shaun thought ahead and decided to stock up on games and shit to pass the time. He quickly became the popular one on board because of it. Luckily, he decided he likes hanging out with me more so than the rest… probably because I'm the only worthy opponent for him when it comes to gaming. He's got some old-school fighting games and we've become equally matched, it seems. When I'm not doing that, I like talking to this other guy, Gregory. He's more of a scholar; reads a lot of books, has some great outlooks on life in general. He's a true philosopher, the more I think about it. I wonder why he decided to sit here guarding scientists on some ship floating out in deep space. Or, better yet, why he would even begin to associate himself with the USCM. He's got a bright future ahead of him and it almost makes me sad he's starting it here. Speaking of which, I'm also getting to know some of the scientists. I'm only given limited clearance so I can't access the rooms where most of them spend their time working. Some of them are real hard-asses but a select few are alright. Can't remember their names but one of them tells me a lot of stories about planets he's been to that are almost identical to Earth. This isn't his first expedition, I suppose, if he's been to all these other fantastic places and has all these experiences to share with the rest of us. This other guy, about my age, plays the piano inhumanly. He can figure out almost any song you give him and perform it flawlessly. I think I'm really gonna like it here. Who knows? Maybe this job won't become as temporary as I thought.
Day 20 Something weird I've noticed is that everyone here is human. I don't know why it took me over two weeks to figure that out. It just suddenly occurred to me. Maybe our employers are just bias towards us. Maybe there's some additional reason I don't know of. I'm still not completely sure of what kind of science they're doing here. I tried asking Saul about it the other day, one of the researchers on board I've gotten to know (the one with the stories) but he's pretty selective about what he says. He told me they're studying the human brain and neurological similarities it has with other species or some shit. He says they're making huge medical advances and that everyone here should be proud of what they're doing. One day, he got drunk and told me that humans might not even need organs in the future after they're done. I was drunk as well, of course, so I very well might've misunderstood his comment. As to how we got the liquor, Shaun wasn't the only one with the bright idea to smuggle stuff on board. I've still got three bottles of whiskey or so in my equipment locker. I've never really been much of a drinker but I figured now's as good a time as any to start. Kills time, numbs the loneliness you feel when you realize you've been away from your wife-to-be and what's left of your family for almost a month. I wish there was more to say other than that but, as far as stuff worth writing about goes, that's all I've got so far. I'll be sure to use the whiskey efficiently and see what else I can find out from Saul about this secret little science project going on.
Day 21 Today was the day we almost actually had to do our jobs. There was a reported security breach in the maintenance offices when someone supposedly smashed one of the surveillance cameras. We gathered up all the doctors and got them someplace safe while another group looked into the disturbance. They came back saying the issue "resolved itself" and that the camera was somehow back online. I have no idea how that could've happened. I'm starting to think no one even smashed the camera. My suspicion is that, since we've been out of action for so long, someone thought it would be a good idea to give all the guards a surprise drill. If anything, though, the entire security team is now prepared in case we actually do have a serial camera-breaker loose on board. I also found out the pianist's name is David. We talked a bit while we were escorting doctors out of their offices. He and Saul are pretty close, I'm guessing, but David doesn't say much on his own. He's somewhat young compared to the rest of them but, from what I hear, he's one of the most valued members of the science team. That's probably why I don't see or hear much of him. Saul and I have gotten to be decent friends as well now. I like to think so, anyway. He's a difficult guy to talk to since he's working eighteen hours a day. Whatever they're doing here, it's pretty damn time-consuming. I found out a few minutes ago that Gregory has an old bass guitar he plays on occasion. I told him I used to play in the past and asked him if he'd be willing to let me borrow it while he's on duty. Figured I may as well waste my time efficiently here and pick up on some old hobbies of mine. He's still considering it. Worse comes to worst, he's gonna ask for one of my whiskey bottles in return... we'll see how bored I get.
Day 23 Got a message from Sarah. She wants to put off the marriage and, along with that, our whole relationship for a while. Says it's not a good time for either of us. I know it's a bit better than getting openly rejected but not by much. If anything, it's just a kind way of saying; "You're never around for me. I'm never around for you. So let's just stop trying." I still have her to go back to but I'm not sure how long it's going to last between us if she's so unhappy these days. It's entirely on me, to be honest. Like she said, I never got the timing right with her between this job and the family issues I'd been trying to resolve before this. I'm really hoping we'll still end up together in the distant future but I've been worried about this happening for a long while. Whatever she decides to do, I guess it's for the best. It still hasn't quite sunk in, I don't think. It's gonna hurt when it does. One thing's for certain, though, I'm not getting that bass guitar from Gregory. He wants whiskey for it and I'm not exactly willing to share at this time. There's only two bottles of it left, anyway. It's getting harder to conserve.
Day 27 The security team shot and killed one of the doctors today. I wasn't around when it happened. It took place while I was asleep. I talked to Tom about the whole incident. He was the one responsible for shooting the man. From what he told me, our employers had suspicions about him being some kind of infiltrator or a spy the whole time but they never acted on them. Initially, they thought he was after certain documents regarding the research results the science team has come up with so far. However, that theory changed when he got caught attempting to start a fire in the generator room. He had one of the maintenance workers with him, probably some unlucky individual who was working late and got caught in the middle of things. He kept him on his knees at gunpoint while he created a pile in the center of the room out of makeshift flammable objects; books, papers, wooden furniture from the lounge, anything of that nature. All of it doused with lighter fluid he had gotten from the lab. When Tom saw what was going on in there on the cameras, he went to check it out. He didn't know at the time what that doctor was up to. When he got there, he saw the whole scene and tried to report it in before the room went up in smoke. The doctor saw him and made his move. He grabbed his hostage, threw him against the wall, and just executed him the very moment he could. I guess he thought he had ratted him out to Tom somehow and he wasn't in a forgiving mood. He tried to make a run for something to take cover behind but Tom had already gotten his gun out. He shot him immediately after that without saying another word. Of course, this is entirely based on one person's side of the story. I wasn't there myself and it's not like the other side can speak in the doctor's defense anymore. I don't know how reliable that makes Tom's explanation of what happened, though. I'm not necessarily trying to accuse him of altering anything. Everything he said added up when it was compared to the aftermath. Turns out there wasn't even a record of our employers hiring that doctor. It seems like Tom just shrugged the whole experience off like it was nothing, though. I have no right to be suspicious of him but the entire situation is, quite frankly, pretty damn fucked up. He shouldn't have gone down there alone. He should have radioed for assistance. However, I will admit, if it wasn't for him, we'd have a melted generator, all the engines would be busted, and everyone would be stuck floating out in space for who knows how long. I'll thank him for that. The strangest part of this whole story is that no one knows how that "doctor" got the gun in the first place. I suppose he could have smuggled it on the ship like I did with my whiskey and like Shaun did with his video games but it would've been much harder to pull something like that off. The shocking fact is that he was using the same type of pistol that's distributed to all of the guards here. That doesn't mean he definitely took it from one of us but there's not many places you can get a weapon like that. We're not given cheap shit here, we've got real high-class firearms at our disposal. We're incredibly careful with them as well. We're not leaving them around anywhere for rogue doctors to take and commit murders with. Because of that, everyone now suspects that someone on the security team is somehow involved in this. That or the guy was able to break into the armory without leaving any evidence behind. Also, the more I think about all this, the more curious I'm getting. We've gotta be doing something pretty fucking important if a spy was sent here to sabotage all the work we've done. Who the fuck would even send a spy? I've got no goddamn clue. I don't know what groups or organizations would take interest in whatever it is that's going on here. All I know is that we're short a maintenance worker and us guards are gonna be suffering because of this little fuckup of ours.
Can you guess which character I am yet, reader? Can you determine who made the right choice and what the outcome was? Keep in mind, the protagonist isn't always the narrator. And the narrator doesn't always speak the truth. Here's a hint, if you need it: Everyone dies but me.
Day 34 Everyone's still shaken over what happened to that one guy, Doug. No one's telling us the name of the doctor that caused all this but Doug was the man he placed against the wall and shot in the back of the head. At the risk of sounding like a complete asshole, I can't say I knew him well enough to miss him. I'm sure he was a good person and I feel terrible about the whole thing. He was pretty liked around the labs, I'm guessing, because there's not a day that goes by where a member of the science team doesn't bring him up. He shouldn't have died like that. He wasn't involved in what was going on in any way. I truly wish there was some way he could've been saved. I can't imagine how awkward it's gonna be coming back home after this whole expedition and telling Doug's family that he died a few weeks in. Even worse, shot dead by one of his co-workers. Nobody expected that to happen. I would say there was never meant to be any danger on this trip but our employers did go ahead and hire twenty or so armed guards to keep everyone safe. Maybe this is our fault, then. Things had been quiet up until this point and I'm sure the vast majority of us assumed it would stay that way. The only time we were really needed, an innocent person died. I know there wasn't really any way we could have seen it coming but it's hard not to kick yourself in the ass when you're given one job and fail at it the first chance you get. (Failed in my opinion, I should say. In our employer's eyes, we've still got a working generator, meaning we succeeded with a casualty.) The security team is getting a lot of shit because of this, though. We're on much more strict schedules. We're not allowed to patrol alone anymore. We're required to document everywhere we've been at all hours, even during our downtime. They're also doing background checks and going through our employment records to determine if that whole theory about one of the guards assisting that doctor is true. In the future, we were told they're going to be conducting daily searches of our equipment lockers and installing surveillance cameras in our bedrooms. Because fuck privacy, right? It's only been a little over a week since the incident and since I've last used this thing and I can already say things have changed for the absolute worst. Apart from that, in memory of Doug, I finished off another bottle of whiskey with Shaun and Gregory two days ago. And, yeah, it was also because that's when I learned about the daily searches and I didn't want anyone finding that whiskey who didn't need to find it. I really do feel remorse for what happened to Doug, though. Saul and David were invited too but neither of them showed. David doesn't drink, he told me, and he was assigned with a few other scientists to go over all the work the doctor who killed Doug was responsible for. I guess it was to see if they could find anything out of the ordinary. Saul was still pretty upset about the whole thing. He said he wasn't in the mood that day. I can't really blame him for that. The guy seems to be really bothered all the time. The stress of all this must be getting to him. He works almost non-stop and now he's got the fact hanging over his head that someone he used to work with went rogue and killed a guy. That's gotta make you paranoid at the absolute least. I'm gonna try to be more friendly toward him in the days to come. He's a good person. He deserves to be relieved of some of that stress. Just one bottle left. One bottle I can easily hide.
Day 42 A few days ago, someone reported Shaun's video games to our superiors. He went through all that effort to smuggle them on and now they've just been taken away from him like he was a ten-year-old kid. He kept them in a strongbox in his room. We were both actually in there playing one when Medavoy, the "chief-of-security" I guess you could refer to him as, came in. We weren't in any position to deny we had them at that point. He demanded that they all be handed over within the next hour and left. Shaun silently followed that order and started packing up the console. I made the mistake of confronting Medavoy by following him out into the hall. I tried explaining to him that, if he's gonna allow us to have so much downtime, we were gonna need a way to entertain ourselves. Video games were just some low-key way to kill a few hours. He replied with something along the lines of, "If you're incapable of acting professional, you can at least look professional". That kinda got me pissed since I had been trying my absolute best to look professional for this asshole for about a month and a half now. So, I came back with, "Look professional for who? You're the only one who gives a shit about what we do when we're not working. It's not like we're taking drugs or building bombs back here. We need something to do instead of contemplating whether or not we want to blow our own brains out." That last part was kind of intended to be an exaggeration and kind of not at the same time. Five hours later, he ordered the tech guy to install the surveillance cameras in the bedrooms and locker room. Sorry, Shaun. I was trying to help but I guess I went too far. I know it's been a while since I've used this thing but that's really all that's been happening worth documenting. I'm closer friends with Tom now. We talk sometimes. He actually showed me that he hollowed out the back of his locker to create some secret storage space where he keeps his cigarettes and a few personal things. I asked if he could keep my whiskey back there too. I'd been keeping it in the upper tank of my toilet up until he agreed to hide it for me. Reminds me, Medavoy and his crew also went ahead with the daily searches of our equipment lockers saying they were USCM property and open to examination. I offered to quit one day because of it, saying it was an invasion of privacy. He said, "Go ahead.", and gestured both hands towards the airlock as if it were an exit door. I'm gonna get that fucker. Shaun mostly talks to his cousin nowadays. He's on the science team and I'm pretty sure he's the one who hooked him up with the job. He's probably regretting taking it by now. I have yet to meet him but I'm sure I will at some point. Gregory's been kind of isolated. He's writing, playing music, doing stuff on his own all the time. I'm not exactly worried about him, though. I think he's just getting homesick and needs some time to himself. In regards to my doctor friends, Saul has yet to leave the labs. I haven't spoken to the guy in six days. David, on the other hand, never goes in there anymore. He says they've made safety changes after the incident with one of the doctors going rouge. He refuses to work until things return to normal. I told him they probably just made changes with the other doctors in mind and that all of it was probably for the best. He replied with something like, "True results are obtained without restrictions." I guess that makes two of us who are pissed off at the way things have been changing around here. So, instead of working, David spends hours on end just sitting on a couch and writing in a notebook of his in the employee lounge. I'll be more specific, actually, he spends hours on end in OUR employee lounge. Meaning the lounge for security officials. I don't have the faintest idea why. It's not like he doesn't have a room of his own to go back to. No one's worked up the courage to ask him to leave yet, though. Personally, I don't mind too much. Even though David's boycott seems completely nonsensical, it gives me someone to talk to, I suppose.
Day 46 Medavoy's crew of loyal dickheads confiscated this data-pad today after one of them saw me using it, claiming it was for official use of members of the science team only. Medavoy himself went as far as to say I stole it from someone. He couldn't make the fact that he hates my guts any more obvious. The armory guard (Vessey, I think his name is) witnessed this grade-A bullshit and bribed someone who had access to the ship's storage to get it back for me. I'll have to get him a nice gift basket or something later. I'm too pissed to record anything else right now. In the event that anyone other than me gets a hold of this thing long enough to actually read it, let me take this moment to express a reoccurring and personal thought of mine. Fuck you, Carter Medavoy. That is all.
Day 47 I saw something weird on the security feed today. It's not normally my place to be watching the monitors and going over what the cameras are recording but Jacob, the guy who normally does that, asked me to cover for him for an hour or so when I passed by his workplace so that he could rest, I guess. Word around the ship is that he's getting ill but won't bother anyone about it. I don't know for certain. It's not exactly relevant. The thing I saw, though, was that the head of the science team, Doctor Cypher, was doing some kind of deal with Medavoy. I saw them talking in Cypher's office and the two seem to be pretty close. It makes logical sense, at first, since they're both in charge of their group and they both get direct orders from our employers, the ones who arranged this whole voyage of ours. But, when you give it some thought, the two professions don't normally relate to each other. The scientists do all their work in the labs and the guards just make sure no one tries to sabotage anything again. We're even encouraged not to make conversation with people we don't directly work with here. There's no real reason for them to meet up and discuss anything. They go to the people in charge of this operation if they have anything to report to anyone. What really got me, though, was their whole transaction. Like I said, I'm almost certain they were doing some kind of deal. When I first got a glimpse at that screen, Medavoy had showed up with some files; papers in nice folders. It caught my attention and looked suspicious enough so I kept watching. After ten minutes or so, they finished talking, shook hands, and Cypher took the documents. In exchange for them, he was giving Medavoy money. He wasn't quite writing out a check for him either. This was the kind of money you give to someone you don't want to be seen doing business with. The kind of money that can't be traced back to you if it's discovered. It was a fair amount, too. I could probably buy a small house with the cash this guy was lending out. I asked Jacob about what they were doing when he came back but he said he's never seen the two even talk on camera before. I don't know if I witnessed evidence of corruption, blackmail, or whatever the hell else that could've been. If nothing else, this proves Medavoy might not be the shining angel some of the staff thinks he is. If I can really find some dirt on him, maybe I can persuade him to ease up on me and return Shaun's stuff. And, of course, get my hand in that money being passed around on the side. So onto yesterday. I took this data-pad out in the employee lounge to read over one of the entries and got caught for it. The rest is pretty well-summarized in the entry from yesterday. Brian Vessey, the armory guard, was the guy that paid to have someone return this thing from storage. He's one of the older guards, probably in his late thirties. He's a nice guy, none the less. I'm sad it took us this long to meet up and that we had to meet under such shitty circumstances. I offered to pay him back but he rejected it, saying it was no problem. He was just as glad as I was to go behind Medavoy's back. Quite honestly, it's almost a good thing he didn't accept. I'm shit broke as it is and I only collect my payment for this job once we get back to Earth. Along with that, I'm probably going to be dealing with several payment deductions now that Medavoy is on my case. Either way, I felt he needed to be rewarded for his righteousness or whatever. It's not often I feel the need to reward the good deeds of others but, if anyone's deserving of a reward, it's him. I got my last bottle of whiskey out of Tom's locker and left it on his bed in his room. He deserved that, at the least. Speaking of Tom, I mentioned what I saw on the cameras to the man. He's in a higher position on the security team than myself and I figured he probably knows Medavoy well enough to tell me what that whole exchange was about. I didn't think anything of it, at that point. I was simply curious about what kind of business the two were doing. His reaction to what I said introduced me to the idea that I had seen something I shouldn't have. He looked like he had just seen a fucking ghost the moment I brought it up. After that, not only did he urge me never to bring it up again, but he got up and bailed out of the room like he was fleeing a crime scene. At first, I thought I was making something out of nothing. The odds of me just so happening to witness a secret deal between the two most powerful people on this ship during the only hour I'm on surveillance duty is beyond unlikely. Now I'm starting to think this isn't something I want to go asking people about. There is definitely something going on behind the scenes here and I want to find out what it is before I miss my chance. Everyone else I know has been too busy with the new adjustments to the work hours (meaning we now have even more work hours). I still see Gregory roaming around the halls when he's on his shift and I actually get to patrol with Shaun at times. He's still sore over his video games being confiscated but he has every god damn right to be. David's demands were met, the other scientists have been telling me, but he's still hanging out in our lounge all the time. He's even got a few followers now. Two other scientists have joined him and they now occupy the whole couch and coffee table. We predict they'll continue to expand and, eventually, they'll conquer the entire refrigerator. Whenever I talk to him about why he doesn't go in the labs anymore, he tells me he prefers to do his work outside of the workplace. I really hope one of the other guards summons the strength to tell him to get out. I like the man but he's starting to overstay his welcome. I went into Saul's office a few days ago as well. The place smelled like vomit for some reason. I asked if he was throwing up in there and he denied it urgently enough to prove my theory correct. I can't say if he's sick or just uneasy. Maybe he thoroughly enjoys the smell of human bile. Who can say? Regardless, he invited me in there to catch up, see how I've been, that whole thing. He looks miserable these days. He's clearly exhausted and overworked. I don't see how David and those other two scientists can be enjoying themselves in our lounge and Saul can't even find the time to leave his office so that he can vomit in a proper toilet. Anyway, we talked for a bit. It was mostly just me bitching about how things have changed here... which I really didn't have the right to do, looking back. If anyone should be bitching about anything, it's Saul. I tried talking to him to see what's been keeping him so busy but he's still selective about what he says. He denies that anything is even wrong. I'll try readdressing the issue some other day when he's ready to admit he needs help. Maybe I could even try getting some answers out of David. He spends enough time with him to know what he's been doing. He used to, anyway. He spends more time with the guards than he does with the people he's being paid to work with these days.
Day 51 It's been quiet and business as usual up until this point. Yesterday, the security team found the guard who was assisting that rogue doctor. This time, I was there when it happened. Apparently, it started with a group of Medavoy's finest confronting the suspect. They'd been going over the doctor's personal files along with mapping out a timeline of everything he did while he was on board the ship. Along with that, they carefully went over all the surveillance recordings that he was in, taking note of who he spent time with and why. They had really been going the extra mile to determine if he had someone assisting him. Despite that, thought, the whole investigation wasn't going so well and they didn't have anything to show for it until about a week ago. They found a recording of this one guard, Tanner, talking to the doctor in a restroom a few hours before the incident. Brian told me he had been getting a lot of shit since he guards the armory and, because of that, some of the other staff members saw him as a suspect since that doctor was somehow able to get inside and grab a gun for himself. However, after they saw that recording, they started looking into Tanner's background. After just a few minutes, they found video evidence of Tanner breaking into Brian's room while he was out, steeling his keycard and keys to the gun cabinets, and coming back a few minutes later, leaving the stuff exactly where he found it with Brian still away from the room. This was on the same day the doctor made his move. Twenty minutes after Tanner returned Brian's things, the doctor was seen with a firearm from the armory and several bottles of lighter fluid from the equipment storage room. A group of four went to grab Tanner. Medavoy himself was among them. Each was armed with a sub-machine gun. Tanner was in his room when they came for him. He probably knew what was going on right away. I'd imagine that guy had been sleeping with a pistol under his pillow ever since he did what he did. Even when cornered, he played it smart, though. He said he'd go quietly and waited for someone to come to him to restrain him. Once one of those guards got close enough, Tanner reached out, wrapped an arm around the guard's neck, and pulled him to his chest. He drew his gun, aiming it at his new hostage's head. The other three kept aim as they moved in closer. When Tanner saw an opening, he released the guard and kicked him forward, causing him to run into Medavoy and knock them both over. He jumped over the two on the ground and made a break for it, running out into the hallway. That's when I saw him. I was patrolling the halls and, to be honest, secretly listening to music while I did so. Everything was, like I said, quiet and business as usual until I saw someone at the very end of the hall bolt out of his room and take off in my direction. I took an earbud out, at that point. I saw the other guards chase him out of the room. You could hear them yelling in unison typical phrases like "Stop him!", and "Don't let him get away!". I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I was just the wrong guy who was there at the right time, I guess. I didn't immediately know how to react. As far as snap decision making goes, I decided to act in favor of the majority; the stumbling bunch of guards who had been outsmarted by a single kid no older than myself. He was only a few seconds away from my position. I spread myself out, arms wide, making sure he couldn't run past me. Then, pistol in hand, Tanner started to raise his arm. When I realized what he was about to do, I panicked. I wasn't about to back down, however. As scared as I was, I simply didn't have time to jump out of the way. Tanner was desperate and I knew he'd shoot me, even if I wasn't blocking his path. It was either think of something fast or take a bullet. So I did something incredibly impulsive which I still can't believe I was able to pull off. I dashed forward, dove at him, and tacked him to the ground before he could pull the trigger. I smashed my elbow and got the wind knocked out of me. But, hey, the "good guys" won. We got the culprit. Though disoriented, I was able to keep my hand around his wrist to ensure he couldn't use that pistol of his while I had him pinned. The other guards surrounded us both and took aim again. I rolled off of Tanner and sat up. The guy who he had held at gunpoint walked forward and smashed him in the face with the stock of his gun a few times before they could pull him off the floor. Medavoy walked over and helped me to my feet. He even put his hostilities towards me aside long enough to thank me. I was almost speechless. I asked him what I had just helped him do and he told me the story as fast as he could. I was a bit relieved once I found out I hadn't screwed over some innocent kid who was just trying to escape Medavoy's signature bullshit like I had initially predicted. I started to catch my breath while he got back to business. It wasn't quite over, though. Tanner was doing something really odd while he was being carried away. By now, we had attracted an audience. Scientists and guards alike were walking out into the hallways to see what all the commotion was about. Tanner looked at every individual person and started yelling out. What he was saying, however, really caught me off guard. He started going on about how all the members of the science team needed to die. He said they were committing crimes against nature, crimes against humanity, and that they needed to be stopped. He begged someone to help him. What happened next was something I'm probably never going to get out of my head. The moment he started shouting that stuff out, the guards decided they needed to shut him up. They didn't want to hear another second of it. They stopped in place, dropped him to the floor, and started beating him. All four of them. They stomped on his head, kicked him in the chest, whacked him with their guns. One of them even took out a nightstick and smashed his jaw. I was a fair distance away, simply a bystander to what they were doing, but even I could see they were going too far with it. They beat him far past the point of unconsciousness. Even when he went limp and motionless, they kept beating him. They might've gone on even longer if one of the scientists hadn't run up and pushed them aside, urging them to stop. Fuck, they might've even killed him. They were relentless. After they were done, two of the guards each grabbed an arm of his while the other two followed behind. They dragged him to the end of the hall and turned a corner out of sight, leaving behind a small puddle of his blood along with a faint trail of it going for a few feet in the directing they dragged him off in. I stood there for a long while just staring at it, thinking silently to myself before walking back to my room. I don't want to write about anything else. I'm distracted over everything that's happened and I'm still trying to take it all in. I can't say Tanner was a saint but he didn't deserve that. Those guards were so desperate to shut him up it was almost as if they were trying to keep him from spewing out any more of that nonsense like their lives depended on it. Makes you wonder if any of that nonsense was actually true. Is that why Tanner did what he did? What the hell could he possibly know about the science team that I don't? Furthermore, what in the absolute fuck is going to happen to him? Maybe I should do some research on this place. No one's going to give me an exact answer regarding what the science team is working on, especially not Saul or David. I do need to find out what would possess someone to say things like that, though. Whatever Tanner knows about this whole project, I'm going to find out.
Not every sacrifice is for the greater good. Some are made in hopes of redemption. Some are made out of pathetic desperation. If you're still curious as to how this story ends, allow me to give some foreshadowing information. Julian Kovic's sacrifice, whatever the reason behind it, ends up dooming us all.
Day 53 In an effort to figure out whatever's going on here, I broke into Tanner's room. They have him detained in one of the isolation chambers for the time of being. I don't think they know what else to do with him. For some reason, Medavoy ordered that his room be guarded to ensure that nobody can get in. Oddly enough, the person who ended up guarding it was me. So, yeah, that plan of his kind of backfired. They had swept the place for evidence earlier. They'd done a good job too. The room was completely ransacked. I guess they wanted to make sure they got everything. His journal, his radio, and all of his personal things were taken. He did have a lot of books lying around, though. Most of which were about the history of spaceships and the mechanics behind them. My first thought was that he was secretly studying to become an engineer. Then I found a book specifically about the "Isis Brigade" which the ship we're on now, Isis VI, used to be part of. It was more of a pamphlet, really, consisting of just eighteen or nineteen pages. Those ships don't have much history, I suppose. I don't know why the hell Tanner had this thing but I'm pretty thankful it wasn't snatched. I'm guessing whoever searched the place had either glanced over it or didn't think it was important enough to take. I took it back to my room, regardless, once my shift was over. That was the only object of significant interest I could find in there. I just finished reading it. Didn't take long to do so, of course, but I did learn something from it. Here's an interesting little fact about this ship. The USS Isis VI was the sixth of nine constructed USCM vessels built as part of the Isis Brigade. It was initially designed as a prison carrier and later used to transport convicted personnel from Earth to USCM controlled holding facilities on other colonized planets. After seventeen years of service, it was deemed "incapable of operating to appropriate standers" and sold to an anonymous buyer once all nine ships were dismissed from active duty. Sure enough, Tanner had underlined this paragraph in pen. There were some notes he wrote on the side of the page but they're completely illegible. The paragraph itself was enough for me, though. First off, this isn't a research ship at all. It's an ex-prison ship. Why the fuck are we doing research on a prison ship? I know it doesn't sound like something to be too suspicious about. It's quite possible they're just reusing this ship instead of building a new one from scratch. But why were we specifically told this was something it wasn't? Personally, I haven't seen prison cells or anything like that on board. I haven't seen the whole ship, though. There might still be some in the areas I don't have access to which is pretty much just the cockpit, the generator room, and the science labs. Either way, there was something in that book I found far more suspicious. The part where this ship was sold to some anonymous buyer because it was unfit for use or whatever. We're using the fucking thing right now, though! If it was sold to someone, does the USCM even own it anymore? Who bought this ship? I feel like, whenever I go looking for answers, I just wind up with a fuckload of more questions. I'm going to try talking to Saul again. I know he won't want to talk to me about what the science team does but I need to get it out of him. David won't say a damn thing since he took over the lounge and I don't know anyone else on the team well enough to ask them without having them report me to someone. That reminds me, David took over our lounge. He and maybe six other doctors have turned it into a new lab since they were so unhappy with the changes Cypher's been making lately. They keep moving in all this equipment and wont allow any of the guards inside. Obviously, Medavoy's working to get it shut down. I don't care if he wants to work outside of his lab. He just can't stay there. It's one of the few places I have left that isn't under constant surveillance. We petitioned to get the cameras out of our bedrooms and slowly got rid of them over time but they're still in all the public restrooms, the locker rooms, and there's even talk of one going up in the kitchen. It's really keeping the one tech guy we have on board busy. I'd like to argue and say there's no need for all this security but, with all the shit that's been going on lately, I don't think I can say that with a straight face. No one's happy about it but they understand why Medavoy's doing it. At least I don't have to worry about anyone watching me while I sleep anymore. I think it finally hit me that Sarah and I are over. It took a long fucking time for that to happen. I haven't been keeping track of the days but it feels like months since I got that message from her. Obviously, I'm sad. I want to be able to push that feeling aside and say something like "It's for the best.", or "She wasn't right for me." but I don't really care about those things now. I just don't want to be alone. I hate the fact that I am. I hate that I was stupid enough to think I might not be for the two years I was with her. What else can I say? Breakups suck. I just wish I still had that whiskey now. If there were ever a time for that... I shaved my beard off. I was kind of known around the ship as that guard with the beard. None of the other guards have one, for some reason. I don't really know exactly why I did it. It was a heat-of-the-moment thing. I guess part of me just felt like getting rid of it. The other part wanted to show that I was still in control of things. I'm not usually up for doing stuff like this. I think it's cliche as fuck and incredibly stupid. Having done it, though, it did help a bit. I can't say I'm not going to miss my beard but it's som Okay, fuck the beard story, something just happened. Medavoy showed up with five other people. He wants me to stay here for questioning. I agreed and now he's going to get something from his office and then coming back. There's two guards stationed outside my room. Both are armed. I don't know what he wants or what he's going to ask me. I haven't done anything obviously wrong. I should be fine. I need to hide this thing so he doesn't see I still have it. I need to hide Tanner's book too. Once he's done talking to me, I'll record down what he said. I just hope he doesn't know I'm n
Day 54 Tom is dead. I don't know how the fuck it happened but he's dead. After Medavoy came back, he started to question me about any suspicious activity I might have seen recently. I denied seeing anything. Then he went on to ask if I'd been acting outside of where I was stationed. I asked him what he meant by that. He looked me straight in the eye and asked if I was going into rooms I didn't have clearance to go in. I said no. He asked if I had been spying on the science team using the security monitors. I said no and told him that I don't even operate the security monitors. That was Jacob's job. There was a brief silence as if he expected me to say something else. Then, as quickly as he arrived, he thanked me for my time and left along with the five others that accompanied him. I didn't know what the fuck that was about but I had never been more scared of Medavoy. It was like some polite interrogation that lasted half a minute. I assumed, after he asked if I was spying, that he knew about me seeing him on camera with Doctor Cypher. I wouldn't dare admit it to him, though. As far as I can tell, he believed me when I said I hadn't. I don't know what he would do if I told him I'd been trying to find out what the science team is up to or that I did see him giving files to Cypher for money. I was too exhausted at that point to think of anything else. When things felt safe again, I collapsed onto my bed in relief and tried to fall asleep. I woke up to the sound of sirens going off. It took me a while to acknowledge the sound since we hadn't used the sirens in weeks. The last time we was when we thought someone smashed a camera. I can't say why but, this time, it just felt worse. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my gun, and headed out into the hall. The place was being locked down. Guards were shoving concerned scientists back into their rooms and locking them inside. I moved down the hall as one of the scientists spoke out to me from his doorway and directed me towards where the majority of guards were running off to. I followed and got to Corridor 8 in Sector C. There was a crowd around the entrance to Tom's room. Shaun was among that group. I pulled him away from the rest of the guards and tried to talk to him about what was going on. He didn't know much about what had happened yet but he filled me in on what he'd seen. Tom had been murdered. Strangled in his bed, most likely while he was sleeping. I took a step back and tried to process what I had just been told. My first thought was that we picked a bad time to take the cameras out of our rooms. Then, as Shaun merged himself back into the crowd, I reflected a bit more on the matter. Of all the people I would have expected to get killed, Tom was far towards the bottom of the list. He was a friendly guy who didn't do much of anything. If it hadn't been for the incident with the doctor in the generator room, I wouldn't have even known he existed. I hadn't spoken to him that week. The last time I did, it was when I brought up seeing Medavoy and Cypher's deal and he bailed from the room. I still saw him around now and then but we never really talked. Now he was dead. No warning. No build-up whatsoever. While the body was being taken for examination and the room was being swept for evidence, we were sent out in groups of three to see if we could find the killer. I ran back to my room and got changed into my uniform as quickly as I could. When we were ready, Shaun and I were sent out with this kid, Anthony. He was frightened the entire time. Shaun and I were too, I'm sure. It's not often you're sent into the eerie halls of an ex-prison ship to search for someone who just strangled some poor man in his sleep. We never did find anything. The whole time we were out searching, though, I was thinking to myself about this whole fucked up situation. Three people are dead and no one is being told why. We're stationed on some ship we were told was built for the purpose of research but was really used to transport convicts. We have no idea what the people we're guarding are spending so much time on. We're not allowed to see any of the work they're doing or even allowed in the labs. We've been kicked out of our only sanctuary by a group of scientists that claimed it as another lab. There are cameras watching us in almost every room. We've been attacked by an infiltrator who tried destroying our generator but only ended up killing some innocent person. There could very well be more spies on board, as we've learned from Tanner, who accused the science team of being some inhuman work force and said that every member on it needs to die. We have no way of leaving the ship. We can't directly communicate with anyone who isn't connected to the project. And, while all of this is going on, the heads of the teams are doing deals behind everybody's back and cracking down on people who might know about it. Now, we're searching for a murderer who just killed one of my co-workers for no apparent reason. I want to know what's going on here right now.
Day 55 It's been pure chaos the whole day. Everyone's paranoid about Tom's death and worried over the fact that whoever killed him hasn't been found yet. With the death toll now reaching three people, the science team is too afraid to go into the workplace and the security team can't promise we can keep them safe anymore. We have no idea what we're up against or if another attack is going to happen. The ship just got out of lockdown for the time of being and us guards are patrolling the halls and rooms constantly looking for suspicious activity. It's entirely possible that whoever killed Tom might try to kill someone else. It gets worse. Apparently, the disk to camera 83, the one that recorded the hallway outside of Tom's room, is missing. Along with that, we found out recently that the servers were shut down for a few minutes after Tom was killed which delayed the sirens and caused all the cameras to go offline, making it so we have no footage of anyone going into the security office to take that disk. That means either the killer had someone remove the evidence for him or he acted in that gap of time when the cameras turned off and did it himself. Or herself. We do have a few female doctors on board but I don't think anyone on the science team could have done this. I'm thinking it was one of the guards, if I had to pick. Either way, this wasn't some careless murder. This was planned. Whoever this person is made sure he didn't leave behind evidence for us to find. I've completely given up on trying to get David to tell me what the science team is doing. He's committed to keeping that information to himself. He's never once threatened to report me for asking him about the project but it's obviously hopeless to keep pestering him for answers. Shaun's cousin would be my next choice but I haven't exactly met him yet. I've been meaning to but, with all these murders and emergencies taking place these days, I've got my hands full most of the time. I can't rely solely on the fact that he's my friends cousin. If my superiors find out what I'm up to, it's just going to make them even more suspicious of me. That makes Saul my only hope of figuring all this out. I'm going to go back into his office tomorrow and finally have that talk with him, once things die down a bit. That's all I want to write about for now. I have more to say but now's not the best time to be saying it. There's more important things to be dealing with, at the moment.
Day 56 I went into Saul's office again, this time without him knowing it. He wasn't inside and the door wasn't locked. I used that to my advantage. I went through his filing cabinets, his drawers, his office computer, you name it. He kept a revolver in his desk drawer which surprised me. Scientists aren't supposed to have guns and I can't think of a reason why he would smuggle it on board. The security team isn't even given revolvers and nothing like that exists in our armory so I have no idea where it came from. As curious as I was about the gun, I stayed away from it. He also had a copy of his résumé in his filing cabinet. According to that, Saul used to be a surgeon at a hospital back in New Mexico before he got wound up in all this. It wasn't specific or anything but his employers obviously took great interest in him. He kept copies of his employment paperwork in there as well. I found out what they're paying him to work here. He makes more than Cypher and Medavoy put together. Hell, he probably makes more in three months than I'll make in my entire life. The paperwork still didn't say anything about what he was actually hired to do, though. All I got in the job description were cryptic, vague sentences that didn't seem to make much sense at all. Above all else, the place still reeked of vomit. Saul walked into the office a few minutes later. I was on his computer when he did. I had gotten somewhat distracted and was looking at his family pictures he kept on there. I jolted out of the chair to my feet and looked at him from behind the desk. He turned to face me. I saw that he was wearing a white smock covered in blood and wiping his face with a rag. He stood in the doorway, remaining completely still. I didn't know how to react to that. At first, he looked nervous like I had just caught him committing a crime. For all I know, I was the one breaking into someones office. Then he came to that sudden realization and yell at me to get out. I did so. I can't think of a logical reason behind Saul's clothing being stained in blood. Not just stained, I might add, his clothes were completely drenched in it. He used to be a surgeon prior to all this. Could he still be performing surgeries? I somewhat doubt that. You don't get that much blood on you unless you're required to bathe in your patient's chest cavity. Even so, why would he go back to his office looking like that? Again, whenever I try to find answers, I just end up with more damn questions. He didn't report me for breaking in, though, since it was several hours ago and someone would've come for me by now had he went to Medavoy. Aside from that, everything's drifting back into normality since yesterday. People are going back into the labs and getting back to work. Strangely, Tom's death didn't trigger any changes in our day-to-day life like when Doug died. No new cameras are going up anywhere and people seem to have just forgotten about the whole thing. I find it weird that it only took a solid day for everyone to get over it. Shaun's fine. Gregory and Brian are fine. Who the fuck knows what David is up to but he seems relatively fine. I don't hang out with them much anymore. I just sneak around the ship in my free time these days. I'm worried that someone knows what I'm up to, though. Medavoy wouldn't have come to my room to question me with five other armed guards that day if he wasn't suspicious of me. He probably knows that I was watching him and Cypher too since he brought it up. I think I'm one bad move away from him taking action against me and I always have a constant fear in the back of my mind that I'll end up to be the next Tanner. I've gone this far with it, though. Might as well see it through to the end.
Day 60 I'm done. I give up. It's over. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to stick to what's asked of me and stay the fuck out of anyone else's business. It's not my place to get involved in this whole scheme. It never was. Things have escalated too quickly. I can't get into specifics just yet but there's been even more shit going down. Now I just want to get paid and go home. I never want to remember any of this or see any of these people again. I still haven't got a fucking clue what's going on here but I know it's bad. It's something worth nearly beating someone to death in order to keep it a secret. It isn't worth figuring out. I'm not ending up like Tanner. I'm getting paid and then I'm getting out before anyone can realize I'm gone.
Day 63 Doctor Cypher went missing. He disappeared after heading back to his office from the labs about five days ago and nobody has seen him since. There was a search afterwards that took place over the course of a few hours but there's not many places on this ship you can hide. Every room was checked including the restricted offices and labs, the maintenance rooms, and every individual bedroom. They found nothing. They'll conduct another search eventually but there's no trace of where he could be and no one has a clue as to what could've happened to him. Some people think that he's no longer aboard the Isis VI at all. They're calling off this expedition early. All of the labs have been closed down and the members of the science team have been placed under constant watch to ensure their safety. According to Medavoy, everyone will be evacuated and returned to Earth within the next three weeks. As far as I can tell, I'm still being compensated for the time I've spent here. I don't know if they'll try to deduct my pay because of this but that is the absolute least of my worries at this point. All of this is connected, somehow. I know it is. The rogue doctor, Medavoy's deal, Tanner's capture, Tom's death, and now Cypher's disappearance. All of it revolves around whatever it is the science team is hiding. It's something I really wish I could stay out of. I've wanted to ignore whatever was going on in the shadows here but now I don't think I have a choice anymore. It's turned into something that concerns my safety and the safety of others. I can't prove it yet but I'm almost certain it's why Tanner was beaten so badly and why Cypher is now missing. I can't wait around and hope that Brian or Shaun or any of my other friends aren't the next ones to go missing or turn up dead. For the first time in a long while, I'm genuinely afraid. I'm afraid of what might actually be going on here. I'm afraid of the risks people are willing to take to keep things hidden. I'm especially afraid of what would happen to me if they found out I know what I know. I don't want to be the heroic detective who solves this case and saves the day. I took this job for the money they promised me. In all honesty, I don't care about that anymore, though. I just want to get home safely and see my brother. Maybe try to work things out between me and Sarah, while I'm at it. Forget that all of this ever happened. I don't want anyone else to die.
