JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 349 it kinda hit me today that i miss shaun a lot and i look at remy trying to ignore that hes shaun man hes shaun........... is there something wrong with me i thought i had it all figured out
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 350 you know how long i thought i had my shit together and i never really had it ah.. and i got a girl callin me her uncle, talk about being a role model im a piece of shit
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 354 he said i could be a clone and not know it too what does it take to be a real fucking person since we started playing gods
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 355 shit i decided not to mess with the past anymore so why am i up all night looking at these logs I saved onto my PDA i should have told lydia fuck
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 356 writing from the ship. jumping to marathon. shot remy. good job. on my way to abbey. shes gonna be mad at me for shattering my hand. tarl is not gonna be happy.
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 357 man would shaun like to be the empire's puppet doll i owe him that i owe him that arriving at marathon i hope abbey is available cause that that thing looks like its gonna catch fire any second now
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 359 the workshop shouldnt be trackable. one thing im sure of: i aint telling turl bout what happened. fuck. abbey told me that marathon was secure but idk man. i feel like a prison. ppl dont trust me there and i dont trust em. even if im in dire needs... idk if ill ever go there. i like visting abbey tho. shes so gentle. good person. also how she fixes my arm in 30 mins??? fucking genius. asked cole to find me where remy's program is hosted or something. his servers need to bang-bang. his body needs 2 be burnt. shits going to cost me 9000 px. im gettin zed money at the end of the week. im sellin "the pyramid". fuck.
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 359 my love is gone till your blood is drawn. youre not who shaun wanted to be. take it from me, cause i'm coming for you.
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 360 i feel like throwing up. the anxiety, the paranoia, the headache. everything kickin in at the same time. i fell asleep 20 minutes in the workshop, i woke up on a table, sweating. grabbed the revolver and aimed everywhere around me. i need help. i need help to destroy remy.
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 361 wren gave sound advice. hes young but smart. he offered me shelter if the empire or whatevs ever find my workshop. i need to warn zed. i dont want to drag her into -my- vendetta bulshit. since everybody likes remy its safe to assume friends are plotting against me. im already feelin betrayed. leon knows the workshop. eh. i never been a deep sleeper. i sleep with my belt on and the revolver. if i can sleep. at all. im pumped up on these shots. none of them gets it. my brother tooks himself away from me. and now he taken my best friend, my new brother away from me. it shouldnt go ignored. remy was never meant to be. im trying to explain this with as much neutrality as i can when i do. everyone comes to the conclusion that remy is between two worlds. shaun would have never done that. im convinced remy is hardwired to stay, considering hes some kinda cyborg now. how can leon be friends with a slaver. u dont know these people. if they proudly admit slavery, then what the fuck could they be hidin. skyrax said something even worse. he knows my brother. what if my brother was using my best friend like this. to wear me out. is what he said. that wont kill my drive. the mere idea is killin my smile, but it wont fathom my rage. i feel it in my bones.
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 363 you ever look at a mirror like "this cant be me do i really look like that" is this shit wearing me out or is it just one of these days...
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 364 rly boils down to this people i can trust: zed wren abbey leaf tears????????? people i cant trust skyrax 674 leon vecks danien cole dre aissa lydia anyone from the uscm astora john barrett wintermute aiko crowliss tarl hollow graveson ria sativa & anyone in charge of opportunity bloodrazer the whole r.a. the families, especially zelena
JOURNAL LOG ENTRY 365 flamesinger now onto that ASO guy from the reserve. need answers from him. easy to get close to. hard without tarl or graveson noticing. too bad. ive got a thing in mind. good prisoner. dont expect me to play fair. this is terrorism. you got an army? well i got guerrila. you got a shiny new kevlar and impervium plating? im coming shirtless with a steel axe. slit ya open a little, so you get to see for yourself how fucking empty you are. they done tell me you're paranoid. nah, your little baby whine ain't paranoia. you cant sleep at night cause you know im coming. that ain't paranoia. thats rational. im gonna murder ya. you dont know how its like. scribbling your loved ones name. erasin em. crossin em. questionin em constantly. comin out of your shitty workshop every 30 seconds with your gun loaded. you dont know paranoia. youre just realizing you're a mistake and mistakes are meant to be fixed. you know the clock ain't showin' the right hour and the horologist comin'. that's your cyborg side calculatin' that you dyin soon. ill put the gun to ya. ill make it sing a lil song, hum a lil melody, bring another little bodyguard, ill make it a duet, bring your army, ill bring an orchestra. im conductin this unusual musical straight to your home. youll recognize when you hear it. you heard my previous work. you seen your friend die. you seen your shoulder shred to bits. havent seen leon in a few days. hasnt come back for his job. its obvious hes on remy's side. well thats good baby boy, do your thing, but if it involves meddling with the empire, dont get surprised if you find yourself with a barrel in ya mouth. trigger finger has been itchy since i had a good night sleep. im back at it. i got this. the gun is loaded. im getting my ship pieces and pre-made ships. your helmet is in USCM territory. shipments of weapons are coming. zed is the toughest gal around and shes on my side. got that ferrozium blade installed. made a bio-engineer friend. im putting together a fleet. makin money with the solari. contacting hackers. contacting talon. tell your new friends sittin on the blood of hundreds of slaves that they're soon going to have to wash your blood off your shiny tower, bitch. you livin off dirty money. you gettin high off dirty ideals with dirty people. you gonna die a dirty death. im gonna drown you in your lover's blood. no more losing my focus. im a fucking savage. im coming.
